Life has its ways to make you stumble

TW: Depression It is nearing a decade since I fell into clinical depression (I have doctor's diagnosis) and I had to do a lot of work in those years to be able to do even the daily tasks - brushing my teeth, having a bath, eating food, drinking water, having a clean room, etc. Having a career where I am learning and making my mark, living my life, these are far fetched dreams when compared to these small things. And the truth is, I have come far. I have grown so much. When I look back at my journey, I am proud of myself for not giving up on myself, even when 95% of the time I had to do it all alone. Over the years so many things have happened, so many things piled on me, adding to the emotional burden, making me hit rock bottom all the time. I am honestly surprised with how much I have seen and went through in such a short lifespan. I have built myself up enough that I could at least have a normal daily routine even when I was severely struggling emotionally. And never did I think that there would come a day when I would see myself struggle with the daily tasks. I knew that I would struggle, but not with this. A few days ago, something happened, something that's the root cause of my mental illness. The adult me is already over it, but the child inside me was shook. I didn't realise it until today when I started to take notice of how I was being. I was struggling to even drink water that was not even a foot away from me, I had been eating only once a day, haven't cleaned my room in days, not working on my office tasks, literally doing nothing, not even going out of my room. I never thought my trauma would get triggered like this and I would again be in the same space as I was in the initial days of my depression. I know I will bring myself out again, I always have, always will. It just made me sad that I somehow don't seem to get a break from negative things happening in my life.