Women Hypocricy

During the townhall at our office, I couldn’t resist but count the number of women that are actually present in tech! And guess the number? Out of around 100-150 people I could count only 9 women! (Including myself) And as I was thinking around it, time came for my 1 on 1 review and I for a fact believe that I’ve been working good and so did my manager, he started with all the wonderful things I did and the improvements were great from our last 1 on 1 but the review ended with much of a confusion, it felt like I was told I’m a women in this industry! My manager added how this industry is biased and how if a women does something wonderful she’s not a normal girl! He rather added that how life will get difficult for me from now on since I’m married and might plan a family! Are men also told the same thing? They will plan a family too right? It felt like i was not treated equally like my other teammates and a bit differently because I am a woman? Have you ever given a thought about how it happened with you and around you?

- It's hard being the only woman in the leadership, in a room full of older men. If you don't hang out with them, you are excluded. If you do hang out with them, you got to get you act right with nods and smiles along the small talk. If If If If.. thats the loop you are caught in. - Imagine being the only female developer in the team. BRO code is the default setting. DEV code took a sabbatical. All of you go hang out with beer, smoke and whatever and what if I am not into that? I am not a so called BRO then. And dont even get me started on the casual jokes and me not being into gaming and TT. Go ahead ask me.. How does she even fit in then.. Right?? - Declare I’m taking a "Wellness" Day. Might as well hold a flag and say "Guess who's on her period?! ME ME ME!" So much for your policies - I can’t even begin to count the number of times I’ve been interrupted, spoken over.. - Dress too casually, you're not taken seriously. Dress too nicely, you're trying too hard. I've been judged for my clothes more times than I can count - too much, too little, too fashionable - yep been called that too. It’s exhausting - I think my presence is acknowledged only when it’s convenient for them. My opinions and insights are ignored until they need a female face to tick a diversity box - I’ve stayed late and worked weekends just to prove I’m just as dedicated as the others (even when I was doing next weeks work) - Finding a mentor who truly understands the challenges I face as a woman in tech is nearly impossible. Male mentors often don’t get it, and female mentors are spread too thin - I was told to speak up but when I did, I was labeled aggressive. I'm expected to be assertive but not too assertive, confident but not too confident. Also if I am progressing too fast, I have someone special rooting for me for something special in return - that the peoples verdict. And then the gossip starts. A large majority of Orgs, Founders, Leaders, HR are getting by doing the bare minimum.

I have seen pseudo feminism happening everywhere around which has just wasted everyone’s time and energy over debating for false narratives. Does feminism really matter or it brought any change in corporate lives. If yes then why still pay parity exist and why projects have been given on the basis of gender but not on the basis of skill and experience? What’s your take on this ?

Guys - do you think women aren’t as smart/hardworking/motivated OR that the women working around you have been hired for the wrong reasons? Girls - have you experienced sexism at workplace? How do you tell that someone’s behaviour toward you is BECAUSE you’re female?

I have had over 8-10 managers in my life in a career spanning over 8 years, 5 of them were female managers and unfortunately the experience with 4 of them were very bad. They’re either micro managers, or power hungry, want to be dominant over male juniors, misuse their power, cannot take any kind of resistance or refusals or disagreement from juniors. I have always heard female managers are more empathetic but unfortunately I’ve faced the opposite. Just wondering, was it just bad luck or is it actually the case? I tried to introspect in this and I found at least 4 points common across all these female managers: 1. They are all from Tier 2/3 Cities 2. They’ve studied in premier institutions IIT,IIMS,Wharton even one of them 3. They either have a younger or elder brother who got more love in the family 4. Their husband is at a higher senior level than them in professional life/career

Pls only women, no men 🙏