img

Beyond Labels šŸ’­

I wanted to write something I'm proud of, something I truly believe in. But my chaotic mind won't let me. I asked myself why I struggle to be present. My brain answered, 'Because your brain doesn't want it.' Am I overthinker? We often label ourselves as overthinkers, introverts, extroverts, and so on. But are we really just those labels? We shouldn't confine ourselves to these labels for comfort. We are limitless. Next time you want to talk to someone, just go for it. Don't make excuses like 'I'm an introvert and I don't like talking to strangers.' It's not really you speaking; it's just that part of you that prefers staying in its comfort zone. Take the leap. We only have one life. Remember to live it to the fullest. Wrote something after a long time. Enjoy it.

img

tenxengineer

PhonePe

5 months ago

img

CharSoBees

Tekion

5 months ago

img

1899

Stealth

5 months ago

img

CharSoBees

Tekion

5 months ago

img

jake_peralta_B99

Unemployed

5 months ago

img

CharSoBees

Tekion

5 months ago

img

salt

Gojek

5 months ago

img

CharSoBees

Tekion

5 months ago

img

BoredCorporateSlave

Gojek

5 months ago

Sign in to a Grapevine account for the full experience.

Discover More

Curated from across

img

Misc on

by RiceBowl22

Meesho

Remorse of losing moments: 'value' the experiences & avoid forced trade-off

In 2018, I was doing my BBA from Delhi University, when the cultural fest of our college invited ā€˜The Local Trainā€™ band for a live show. Of course, they performed Choo lo, Aoge Tum Kabhi, Dil Mere, Bandey, which had all my heart (in 2018 and today). But I chose not to attend the fest. As a 20-yr old, I never reflected why I would have done that...But as a 26-yr-old, I did it today. For a long time, Aalas ka pedh had remained my favorite archive of emotions, feelings of coming of age & loneliness when I had not yet stepped out of the borders of my ā€˜homeā€™, semblance of how a breakup feels like when I didnā€™t know what a relationship stands for (let alone being in one), longing for love when I couldn't distinguish it from the romantic movies of SRK. And yet, I chose not to attend the fest. It was a conscious choice. It didn't bother me. ā€œI was not into live music or experiencesā€. Why? I was not sure about my reasoning then, but now I think it was because I didn't value the very feelings I got from listening to those songs - emotions, coming of age, loneliness, breakup, relationship or love, all of the feelings I got from listening to those songs. My mind was flooded with the thoughts of achieving ā€œobjectiveā€ metrics - marks, ranks, admission in xyz college, because they were right there, easy to understand and calculate; the input was the attention and hours I put and output were grades. To my mind, that seemed ā€œeasier to achieveā€ than going through the process of defining and valuing those emotions. 4 years after this event, I would have just started my 2nd job, when I heard that the Local Train had unofficially disbanded when the lead singer, Raman Negi, left the band for a solo career. I didnā€™t feel it that much - because the ā€œobjectiveā€ bug hadnā€™t left me, and the value I placed to those emotions - coming of age, loneliness, breakup, relationship or love - still couldnā€™t be ā€œcalculatedā€. 2 years later, today, I realized 2 things. 1. I will never be able to hear The Local Train ā€œliveā€. I lost the multiple chances I had. It hits me every time I hear the album again. To ā€œobjectifyā€ it, I exhausted my attempts (like in UPSC) and clearly failed. 2. In the past, I have mis-forced ā€œtrade-offsā€. The decision to not attend had no positive implication on my ā€œsuccessā€, but negative implication on who I am today. Those moments and experiences are the attempts to make memories that will form a major part of the brain, when you grow old, shape who you are. While you are doing trade-offs, you value the non-objective things by the number of attempts you have to make. It isnā€™t that difficult to count the attempts, just uncomfortable. If I had that effort of valuing those experiences and emotions ā€œobjectivelyā€ better and not forced the trade-offs, I could have been a different person today. 1. Attended those live concerts with my friends 2. Got the chance of dating my crush in MBA 3. Worked with a co-founder closely who I looked up to as a operator 4. Would have watched one of my favorite stand-up comics perform live 5. Many moreā€¦ Hence, my request to young folks in their 20s to incorporate this method of valuing non-objective things and avoiding forced trade-offs.

img

Misc on

by PunyBlame

Rakuten

Making 78L at 32, but I feel like an imposter. Is this normal? (Self-reflection + seeking advice)

I think I'm losing my mind. I'm a 32-year-old guy in tech, graduated from IIIT Delhi, earning 78L annually, but I feel like I'm fooling everyone, including myself. It's as if I'm constantly waiting for someone to burst into the office and shout, "Hey, fraud! We've finally figured out you're actually useless!" I know it sounds like I'm humble-bragging, but trust me, I'm not. This feeling is eating me alive. Seven years ago, I started as a regular software engineer. Somehow, I kept getting promoted. Now I'm leading a team of 15 people, handling critical projects, and sitting in meetings with the higher-ups. But every time I'm in those meetings, I feel like a kid wearing his dad's oversized suit, pretending to be an adult. I work my ass off - late nights, weekends, you name it. But I always feel like I'm barely keeping my head above water. When my team comes to me with problems, I'm secretly panicking, thinking, "Why are you asking me? I'm as clueless as you!" The worst part? Everyone around me seems to think I'm some kind of wunderkind. My boss is always praising me in front of others. My team looks up to me. Even my parents are bragging about me to all our relatives. But inside, I'm constantly terrified that I'll make one tiny mistake and everyone will realize I'm a fraud. I see my college batchmates on LinkedIn, and they all seem so confident and successful. Meanwhile, I'm here, earning more than I ever thought I would, but feeling like I don't deserve any of it. I can't even enjoy my success. I bought a nice house last year, but instead of feeling proud, I keep thinking, "What if they fire me tomorrow? How will I pay for this?" It's like I'm waiting for everything to come crashing down. I know it's ridiculous to complain about a high-paying job when so many people are struggling. But this constant fear of being "found out" is driving me insane. I can't even talk to my friends about it because they'll probably think I'm just showing off. Has anyone else felt like this? How do you deal with feeling like a fraud when everyone thinks you're successful? Is this just part of adult life that no one talks about? This is what eats me alive during weekends, realised it's Friday and panic typed this here

img

Adulting on

by CavernousScrew

Stealth

Moved back home after 11 years of living my life "independantly"

"Beta, your room is always waiting for you." Mom's words echoed in my head as I lugged my suitcases up the familiar stairs of my childhood home. At 29, with a master's degree and five years of corporate experience under my belt, I never thought I'd be back here. Not like this, anyway. The decision to move back wasn't easy. My startup had failed spectacularly, taking my savings and self-esteem with it. Mumbai's sky-high rents suddenly seemed impossible. When Dad suggested I come home "just until you figure things out," it felt like both a lifeline and a step backwards. The first week was a strange mix of comfort and chaos. Mom's cooking was a welcome change from my diet of Swiggy/Zomato. But the luxury of home-cooked meals came with a side of "Why aren't you eating?", "You've become so thin!", and unsolicited advice on everything from my career to my love life. My old room, now Dad's "home office," was a time capsule of my teenage years. Faded cricket posters shared wall space with his collection of business books. At night, lying in my childhood bed, I'd stare at the glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling and wonder where I'd gone wrong. The hardest part was the loss of independence. Suddenly, I had to inform my parents if I was going out late. Dad would casually inquire about my job search over breakfast. Mom would remind me to make my bed, as if I hadn't been doing it myself for years. But amid the frustration, there were moments of unexpected joy. Like when Dad and I stayed up late discussing startup ideas, his eyes lighting up with an enthusiasm I'd forgotten he possessed. Or the afternoon I spent teaching Mom how to use Instagram, both of us laughing at the filters. Slowly, I started to see my parents not just as "Mom and Dad," but as individuals with their own dreams and quirks. I noticed the silver in Dad's hair, the new lines around Mom's eyes. When had they gotten older? Had I been too busy "adulting" to notice? There were adjustments on both sides. I learned to bite my tongue when Mom rearranged my carefully organized closet. They learned to knock before entering my room. We all learned the delicate dance of sharing space as adults. The turning point came three months in. I landed a new job, and my first instinct was to start apartment hunting. But as I sat at the dining table, sharing the news over Mom's special biryani, I realized something had shifted. This house, with all its quirks and challenges, had become home again. Not in the same way it was when I was a kid, but in a new, complex, adult way. I ended up staying for eight more months. In that time, I not only rebuilt my career but also rediscovered my relationship with my parents. We argued, we laughed, we shared silences. I learned that Dad makes a mean omelet at 2 AM, and that Mom's got a wicked sense of humor I'd somehow missed growing up. When I finally moved out, it wasn't with the desperate rush I'd initially imagined. It was a practical decision - I'd saved enough, found a place I liked, and felt ready. The send-off was a simple family dinner, where we laughed about some of the awkward moments from the past year. As I settled into my new apartment, I realized those months at home had taught me a lot. Sure, there were tough times - privacy issues, disagreements over household rules, the occasional feeling of regression. But there were also valuable lessons: 1. My parents are people too, with their own lives and challenges. 2. Independence is more about mindset than living situation. 3. Family relationships can actually improve with some close quarters and open communication. 4. I'm more resilient than I thought, capable of adapting to unexpected life turns. Would I do it again? Maybe, if circumstances required it. It wasn't always easy, but it was far from the disaster I'd feared. If anything, those months gave me a new appreciation for my family and a better understanding of myself. So if you find yourself packing up to head back to your childhood bedroom, don't panic. It's not a step backward - it's just a different kind of move forward.