Fights with Father

I am 33M, started working at 20. Earned 87LPA when I was dropped off in June 23. I am a very responsible person who had taken care of everything in the family for quite some time. My parents and relatives and everyone else who know me well, know this and kost have appreciated this at some point. My sister separated from her husband 6 months after my marriage and had been living with me and my wife since then till COVID hit. My mother has anger issues and my father is very obedient to her. I love my parents and they loved me I think. Post COVID I moved to my hometown (because family) and things started going downhill. My mother will almost entire day find every faults in my wife and share it with everyone with an angry tone. I just listened to her initially for 2 years but at times I told her that it's enough. Now she has started fighting me. After the fight I would go and apologize to her knowing that it's not my fault just to make things right. This time when my mother fought with me she taunted me that you will come back and apologize. This hurted me even more than the fight. Now I am not going back to apologize and she's escalating it every day. Convinced my father and my eldest sister(happily married) that I am a bad son. Shares messages like "maa bap ko pareshan krne vale bachho ko kya fal milta hai" in WhatsApp groups. She has even asked me to vacate home. I am unemployed at the moment and I told her I will when I have a job. I don't know how to deal with it. I can't convince people in the family that she has anger issues.

MOM said this line to me, today again. There have been countless times, when I have heard this from throughout my childhood. And then, people ask me why you don't love your mom. I don't feel bad anymore as I have accepted this sentence for life. But it made me understand that, words like these can kill anyone's self confidence, moral and belief to stay alive. I am thankful to my mom, that she made me strong enough in my early days that when someone says anything harsh to me now, I don't give a fuck. Guys, always be wise to choose the words you speak to someone, even if you are in immense rage. I am using this platform to share this, because I can never tell this to anyone else. Even, I haven't told this to my girlfriend who has been with me for the past 4 years. SPREAD LOVE AS MUCH AS YOU CAN ❤

From the outside, my life right now looks great. I graduated with a great GPA from one of the best universities in DU, completed my banking stint in a top tier group and am now happily working as a Management Consultant in Monitor Deloitte. I'm in a relationship with a girl I'm crazy about, I have good friends, I'm attractive, fit and have the world ahead of me. That's what the outside sees. In reality, I'm a messed up kid feeling my way around in the dark through a world that I feel wholly unprepared for. I grew up poor. At times, I was very, very hungry. The first few months my family was able to crawl out of poverty, I continued to overeat because I still vividly remembered the hunger pains that often kept me awake at night. I lost one of my siblings and I always blamed myself for what happened. I was sexually abused by a relative. I witnessed things in my city that still send chills down my spine. And then there were my parents. Sure, my mom loved me and wanted me to be happy, but unfortunately she had no idea what it meant to be a good parent. My dad was an abusive piece of shit that saw me as his competition, not as his son. We still don't speak very often. On an especially bad day, he had once again taken his rage out on my mom, but to rub in the humiliation he had her wipe her own blood off the walls while he stood and watched. I tried to intervene, but I wasn't much of a match. I, too, was a bit of a piece of shit. I was aggressive and found myself in fights very often. Though I was smart, I was lazy and didn't do all too well in high school, where homework and not exams governed your academic performance. Needless to say, at 16 I looked like I was destined for a mediocre life at best, but probably likely to end up as another case of wasted potential. I don't know what changed, but one day I started turning things around and ever since I have kept the momentum going. I had the highest grades in my class in 11th and 12th. I soon got into a college that I did not deserve and met the love of my life there. And from there I busted my ass to get to where I am today. I earned my own money and paved my own way. I didn't use my past as an excuse to fail. If I didn't make it, I knew it was nobody's fault but my own. I also knew that nobody would care. If one day I broke down because of all the stress, the world would keep on turning as it always had. Nobody cares about the struggles I went through. They care about who I am today and who I'm going to be. And, I guess, that's my message: take responsibility for who you are, where you are now and where you will be. I don't care that it's a tough economy. I don't care that you go to a shitty college. I don't care that an unlucky string of events rendered you less competitive than your peers. And nobody else does either. We will continue living our lives the same way we always had, but you will suffer the curse of your own laziness and incompetence. It's a tough world out there and if you want to compete in an environment as ruthless as India, you need to forget about the excuses and find a way to succeed. And if you can't? Well, you weren't cut out for this world anyway. Nobody is going to pamper your bruised ego and give you a job just because you want it. You need to earn it.

Hi friend, I am sharing my personal life with you all. Kindly address me what to do, I was born in poor family, my father was a small business man my mother was a house wife. In 90s my grandfather was in power to rule in our house no one can disobey his decision. My father is two brothers. Big brother has no childers. I am the only son between them. One day my grandfather decide to give me to big brother. At the age of 3 I was away with my real mom. They happily treat me as a our child, One day I also called him papa and mummy. Don't know how but I did it, takes courage 💪 for the first time and then it was usual. They spend around 18 years on my care. I become adult now and goes for higher study and leave the town where they stay. So I am the link between both of my parents they both want me, somewhere there is a compition between them for me, not sure. My real father always supports me that your first priority is your big father and mother and Then me and your real mother. I was connected with my real father and mother after so much when I was come for further study. I can not explain you the hole story guys. But I am connected to both of them. If they divided or share me its not there fault it was my grade father fault. I always make sure that there bonds become strong day by day. But some conflict were there between them. My question is to you guys is that, I was stuck into one thing the empire my big father and mother has created should I aspect that they should give me or not. My real father says don't think such things. You will not get anything. My real father is so negative person. But he says what ever is mine you get after me. I am earning well in my life and want to create my own empire. But if they give there property it boost my speed for more. My big mother is close to her family. I think her decision will be last. What to do your opinion 🤔 Life is short live it or dead.

I am sure alot of you are living away from your family. Wanted to know how do you take care of your parents and their expectations and at the same time fulfilling your career ambitions? Sharing my personal story here. I come from a small town in Rajasthan and I belong to a upper middle class Jain family. With God’s grace, we are comfortable financially with a sizeable ancestral wealth. My father is 58 and is getting weak and old with time. He wants me to comeback and take care of the family business and properties. He fears that if the transition is not made quickly then my uncle’s family will take over my share. (My uncle is very well connected politically in my hometown) But at the same time, I am not interested in taking over the business as of now and want to explore more in the field of tech and startups while living in different cities in Indian and abroad. I am now in a dilemma as to what is the right path moving forward and how do I balance my individual aspirations with my family responsibilities? I am sure alot of you must have faced the similar issues and I am seeking your advice or experience in handling such problems.

Nowadays people are facing lot and lot of mental health issue and this generation is facing more beacuse of social media and other factors. I have my family where everyone is very tough and have their own ego and anger issues. Its like if we meet there is 110% chance that we will end up with argument or fights (verbally). This had made everyone alone in life and far from each other. Evn between siblings we have such bad relationships due to our ego. what's ideal case and what is not i m not able to differentiate since I have not seen such family with 0 faults but mine is extreme I think. Whatever I try my best but our trip or any meet up will end up with fight and thn we don't talk for days and months . This is affecting me mentally and I couldn't do anything about it. Are any one of u facing such family problems.

I have one question for everyone. How do you resolve your issues if you have issues with your manager or lead? Or How do you build a trust if the trust is broken because of some delayed work, wrong work, wrong design, or something you did wrong in the past and he/she still judges you based on that but you're now doing better?

This question is to people who are in their late 20s or older. Life shows its ups and downs to pretty much everyone. And when you are younger, living with adverse situations that impact your mental peace and health, paving your way becomes difficult. All this can lead to uncertainty about future, can make you doubt yourself and your decisions, or can make you think whether you would be able to make something of yourself or not. If you ever felt like this, how did you handle it? What would you tell your younger self about how to navigate through these situations and feelings?