I kinda relate to it. I will tell you what worked for me.
First get your UI basics like spacing, alignments, typography and other fundamentals.
Practice by copying other people work, don't dribble but copy screens of good apps like Airbnb, Shazam etc.
While copying those screens try to change few things here n there, ask questions to yourself how it will reflect to the by doing change, try to discuss these with peers and friends.
Meanwhile try to find a mentor, some who is freelancer of shorts, ask them, can i work with them to learn, do 1 or 2 good projects then do an internship in good company or a studiom.
After that you will figure out your own way.
Also, keep learning and experimenting other aspects of design motion design, illustrations.
It will help keeping away from boredom and motivate to keep going forward.
Honestly speaking if you do this, you will get a decent enough job in next 6-8months, at least a good internship