It just all feels pointless ..
So, I'm a 27 year old guy working as a software engineer for the last 4 years and come from a typical middle class family. I have made decent money of about 50 lakhs in savings but I feel like it has come at a huge cost to me which was not worth it. Here's the cost it took for me to reach this goal: - Joined college in 2016 and never enjoyed the college life or went to gym to make good physique - All I did throughout my 4 years of college was crammed DSA in the hope that one that I will be able to crack a SWE job. - Now after 4 years into my SWE career have not enjoyed life again due to work and have not worked on my physique again. - Never had a relationship. Never went on a trip. - Basically just never did anything which gave me satisfaction and kept myself holed up in my room from last 8 years. - Now when I'm 27 and approaching 30 I feel like wasted my prime years of 20s and it was all pointless. - And btw I hate my job also for which I sacrificed so much. - Now I want to change my life but whenever I try to do so I just am not able to. I'm addicted to watching reels and twitter for short term dopamine to escape my reality which is keeping me from changing my life drastically. - I know there is a problem with me and I know what I need to do fix that but I'm just not able to for some reason which makes me feel worse as it makes me depressed further and takes towards a downward spiral. - Also there is no one in my real life with whom I can share these thoughts without getting judged and feeling worse
Bandya
Stealth
23 days ago
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