Iām a very private person and I was a bit confused whether I should write here or not, but anyway.
So, day before yesterday I was sitting on my chair after dinner and was thinking about my life and what the hell am I doing.
I realised that,
Saala bachpan se aaj tak race me hi bhaag raha hun. Pehle school me 1st, 2nd, 3rd aane ki race me. Then acche college milne ki race me. Then uske baad acchi job milne ki race me. Then uske baad agar ladki chahiye toh uske liye bhi ek race hai (Donāt have a gf, plz donāt take me wrong, it was a realisation)
My current daily routine is like this:
Wakeup everyday, write code, go gym, dinner, and then sleep and repeat this cycle everyday.
School ke dost peeche chhoot gaye, college ke dost apni life me busy ho gaye, colleagues se main zyada baat nhi karta and main akela padh gaya.
Feels like life is not intriguing anymore, it has no spark left. Its so painful to live everyday.
I feel like I donāt want to live any more, I want to die but I canāt cuz of 2 reasons.
1. Iām the only son of my parents.
2. If I die like this, then I wonāt be able to come out from the birth cycle.
Thatās it
šš¼