Letting Go!

So I might get some hate for this. I know this is weakness and the feedback I've gotten is toughen up. But I've never known how. Is there anyone else whose body and mind had accepted that they're not going to amount to anything but fought their way through it? Can you tell me your story? Or give me any book suggestions?

I think the current phase in my life is the lowest I am already PIPed by swiggy and I have broken up with my gf. Feeling like my life has reached the end. Can't sleep at all specially after the break up. Now I regret for blocking her atleast I should have waited until getting into some company. But now I don't want to go to her due to some personal reasons. It feel sucks. I am not able to focus on interview preparation. I am not in depression but my mental health is shit right now and gets headache daily. Please help me shall I consult some doctor for this or is this okay. I don't have much friends that's why I am asking here I genuinely need help

The obsession I regret the most in my life is the all or nothing behavior. Where, - I'll apply for a job only after knowing everything there is to know for a role. This is why I used to see people with half my knowledge applying and getting jobs and moving ahead in life. I used think it's so unfair that they achieve in all aspects of their life and I in none... - I'll date someone only when I know I am the perfect version that I envision for myself - I'll only take photos when I am in my perfect shape. If I don't have 8 abs, I don't deserve photos! - I'll stop questioning whether I am good enough only when I achieve everything else I am a loser I just was very cruel to myself for my own imperfections! This instilled a fear in me that shattered my spirit, self confidence and self worth. I ended up being afraid to pick anything up. If I couldn't stay course in something and for some reason I wasn't able to do something for a day or 2, my perfectionism mindset said, that's it, I am a failure and I thought, nothing can be done now and gave up This resulted in I procrastinating in things. Why to work hard, I am never gonna make it... I have 100 things to do in life else I am failure but I don't have time to do all that in this lifetime. Perfectionism results in not doing anything! After meeting people, self introspection and podcasts from people, I realised its okay to mess up, its okay to fall down. I should dust myself off and continue! It is so hard now to change yourself after years of disappointment. You need so much positivity and letting go of perfectionism. You need self love and kindness... TLDR - Don't be like an OCD person obsessing over things to go exactly the way they want! Don't reject yourself due to failures/setbacks. Dust yourself off and move ahead! It's okay to be imperfect as long as you promise to be consistent!

After reading the recent #Amazon post and people being truly open about it. I'd like to highlight what me and my Myntra colleagues at the same level faced. The level of emotional and mental harassment I went through was extreme. 9-5 extending till 9am to 11pm, i.e 12+ hrs everyday with no incentives, often my manager would ask me to connect at 12:30 a.m. assign tasks and say, complete this atleast by morning. Even on days when we're in-office till 10:30 at night working on displays and whatnot, after completion they'd say now go home and work on concepts, which is insane, work when? Most often our weekends would get consumed in work too as there's always, always something urgent everyday to prevent you from taking offs. It wouldn't be coming off as a surprise if people are saying they haven't slept for 3 nights straight, because they'd say so have I. All that at a package of 5.35 LPA, it's ridiculous. One thing I really hated during WFH days was MEETINGS DURING LUNCH/DINNER TIME, after a few weeks when it became repetitive, I started saying, but it didn't stop as they would smartly schedule those at pre-lunchtime so no one can deny as it's not lunch yet, then it'll stretch till 3 or 4. Then after a point I started bringing this up in mid conversation in meetings saying "Is it alright if we continue this post lunch? I need to go have lunch" and the same will happen during dinner. They'd say "go quickly have something and connect afterwards". No appreciation for all the hardwork, sleepless nights. So, started keeping healthy boundaries, politely refusing to work on weekends, letting her know I've appointments or I'm cleaning my room or doing laundry today which they used as a way to gaslight me by saying "you disappear on weekends, what's wrong with you now, you used to work fine, seems like you don't want to work here anymore, please be there this weekend and do this". I was still committing to their 9-5 stretching till 8 evening tho.

Here’s what I have been feeling nowadays, I suffer alone every night, smile during the day & tell friends only half and parents nothing so they don't worry about them. I finally end up becoming a big ball of bottled up emotions. I was trying to talk to my colleagues about this and no one seems to care. All they care about is their own life and that is fair. Is life all about suffering and pain?

Here’s mine, Care deeply about any work that you touch, give your best and more. The effort really shows, especially when you can solve something better than what they hoped for.

I’ll start first: “The greats never sacrifice the important for the urgent. They handle the immediate problem and still make sure to secure the future.”

I have been working in HSBC GSC HYD for more than a year and as this journey comes to an end now, I would like to share my experience with you all. The first thing that comes in our mind while joining any new company is about their workplace environment and their HR policies. There have been quite a few incidents that happened during the last one year which I neglected thinking "Isn't this what corporate life feels like?" I neglected everything to the point where it became unbearable for me and made me go through some serious mental health issues and panic attacks. The most recent incident that I would like to share with you all is when I was ethnically humiliated by one of my colleague. The incident happened on 22 April 2024 when I was subjected to ethnically insensitive remarks by my colleague AA. The exacts words which was used by him is 'EK CHAMAAT MAARENGE, BIHAR PAHUCH JAOGI' which exactly means - I will slap you so hard, you will go back to Bihar. I did follow the protocol and informed my manager AT about the whole incident but nothing came out of it, except for a team meeting where I was told that my colleague did not physically assault me, it was just a hatred comment which I can let go of. I reached out to the concerned HR team and filed a POSH Complaint for the same, after weeks of the incident, on 3 May, I received an email from the HR team to give feedback for the same without any updates on what action was taken. I did let go of everything thinking that anyways I will be leaving the office soon as I am currently in my notice period when another incident happened. I was on a smoke break when VKR, AMO from the UK CDD team approached me and made objectifying remarks on me. The comment he made was 'Tmhare jaisi ladki hum aaj tk ni dekhe hai, akele pura UK team ka naam kharab kr k rkhi hai.' which means - He has never seen a girl like me, I have ruined the name of their team. I did ask him the reason for saying such things to which he replied 'tmhare alawa kisi UK team ki ladki ko hm ni dkhe hai cigarette pite huye' which means - he has never seen any girl from the UK team smoking cigarettes. Later while going back inside the office, I saw him eating tobacco and spitting on the wall inside the office premises. My LWD is 13 June 2024 and I hope this post reaches to everyone who are currently working in HSBC and to the people who are planning on joining HSBC GSC HYD before I leave. Source: https://www.linkedin.com/posts/nitika-kumari-10996b182_workplacewellness-positiveworkculture-employeewellbeing-activity-7202948416249753601-P9mK?

I got into a startup (informal) and invested my savings and also took loan from friends and family. It would take a couple of years to clear up but I am happy thwt I didn't let go.of the opportunity and the learnings also realised the following. 1.I enjoyed the thrill 2.When something has to go wrong,It will 3.My priorities changed (family,health,mental peace) 4.I am enjoying what I have more than ever and not cribbing about what I don't have. I am about to touch 40 and lose all savings(instead loans on the head) but I have never felt so calm ;) Anyone with a similar life altering experience 😉