My ex-reportee who took to smoking with me got diagnosed with Lung cancer

Just came back from a hospital visit. Amidst some other visitors muttering to him a general “I am so Sorry” was my voice. I never thought a sorry would come from me with as much guilt and sorrow in my heart. I held back tears and tried to steady my shaking arms saying the words. 8 years ago, He was an intern and I was an associate. He started to join me on my Chai breaks, I’d never tried to persuade him to become a smoker but one day I’d seen him staring at box as I was taking out a cigarette. Looking where his sight was I offered him one and he took it. And off it was to a greater camaraderie over the smoke. Started with us talking about our lives then the jokes, then the invitations to house parties, the travel plans, talking about our dates, then our girlfriends, marriage and finally our kids. I haven't been in touch as much after we both had our daughters last year. And I couldn't believe my ears this morning when the call came. I didn’t make him smoke but showed that it was okay. That one is on me.