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Outside the box..

Org: We need someone who thinks outside the box. Candidate: Can I work remotely then? Org: No, you must be inside our box, thinking outside the box. Candidate: So, can I set my own hours? Org: Absolutely, as long as they start at 9 AM sharp and end at 9 PM, with mandatory overlap from 9:01 to 8:59, covering daily catchup and occasional, seasonal and rational hackathon/catch-up work on weekends Candidate: Can I use innovative tools? Propose new ideas? Org: We’d love that! Just submit them through our 12-step approval process, get unanimous support from the board, and then we’ll file them in the suggestions folder, which we ceremoniously burn every quarter Candidate: Can I dress casually? Org: Dress however you like! Just remember, we have a strict no visible tattoos, no jeans, no open-toed shoes, no hats, no bright colors, no turtlenecks, no jerseys, no sweatshirts, no pullovers, no shorts, no tank tops, no sandals, no flip-flops, no sneakers, no hoodies, no graphic tees, no leggings, no cargo pants, no yoga pants, no overalls, no bandanas, no headbands, no skirts, no dresses, no capes, no costumes, no pajamas, no athletic wear, no leather jackets, no denim jackets, no vests, no ripped clothing, no sheer fabrics, no bold prints, no statement jewelry, no excessive accessories, no heavy makeup, no neon colors, no mismatched socks, no visible undergarments, no body piercings other than earrings, no strong perfumes, no funny socks, no slogan shirts, no cultural attire, and no anything that could be considered remotely fun or expressive... Candidate: oh so.. pants and a plain shirt? Org: Precisely! But make sure the shirt is not too tight, not too loose, not too short, not too long, no patterns, no logos, no buttons that make noise, no pockets that bulge.... Candidate: So basically, you want someone to think outside the box, inside a box, with the lid taped shut, buried underground, while we're chained to the walls? Org: Exactly! Welcome aboard.

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GeneralZod

Stealth

3 months ago

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Confessions on

by FreshRaita

Stealth

Two simple questions

1/ an employee has got a raise in his/her current org recently and then asks for raise again to switch to a different org 2/ an employee has got a raise in his/her current org recently, gets an offer from another org and then asks for the current org to match the offer What’s your first thought? Is this justified? 90% of orgs will label them as opportunistic, money hungry & capital centric. But let’s get brutally honest here: Is the talent wrong to ask for more? We’re quick to jump to conclusions and slap on those labels. But have you ever stopped to consider their perspective? They are leveraging their value in the market. They are pushing for what they believe they’re worth. Isn’t that exactly what we teach about knowing your value and not settling? Are we really being fair when we default to calling them greedy? How many of you would really go back to hard, clear benchmarking and justify why this ask is justified? How many of you are really fighting this battle of moving a godzilla out of their position (in this case, a manager) who just says, "Nai yaar... pagal hai kya... bolo same salary pe aane ke liye... abhi to raise mila hai"? Most likely (as it is today) that this will result in a no-go from a manager or a comp approval request. And when it does - you can go all gaga on how you sold opportunity cost, how you justified the value the candidate brings to the table and all that verbatim in my head translates to CONVENIENCE. Someones convenience. This will always labelled "outlier" case. {continued in comments}