I am 25 yrs old guy belongs to a middle class family, always dreamed of doing good for my family. Did btech and got into infosys as software developer (all though was never interested in coding) at a decent package thinking of a bright career and everything. There I went into Bench after training as there were not much projects, sometimes spend few months on training different tech but also didn’t got project opportunity and like that almost 1.3 years went like that. As a new graduate who started earning money also enjoyed that time thinking things will be fine in future. Got into a very complex project in frontend as my first project and was there for only 3 months. Not had much learning just managing to do things as everything was so new and it was big industry level project, it got ended and I again came on bench. After sometime got notified that they are putting me in PIP and I got scared, Reason was not performance but I just missed a review meeting with my bench manager when I was engaged in project stuff and didn’t get notified. I got scared and try to find alternatives, prepared for 2 months studying angular and java script and getting all asked concepts and questions with some hands on and able to switch into new company as almost 2 years experience as SDE 2 Now here I though I would be able to manage getting into existing project but here got into a project from scratch. I feel depressed and scared all the time thinking I can’t handle things. As the team size in this company is so small and I’ll be the main guy handling things. I don’t have much confidence and handson experience. I feel mentally sick and depressed even the project not started yet. Feel like quitting everyday but what other options do I have. Also though of taking career break for 5-6 months and do learn data science or analysis as it attracts me, but not sure I would be able to secure a job after getting into break. Also thought of preparing for bank exams and have my career government sector but that too is very competitive , what if I won’t be able to get the exam clear. Everyday I feel like giving up on everything and leave this world. I have anxiety attacks , my brain remains choked and feel sad and low 24*7. I can’t see anything, what should I do! My parents are very supportive and they supported me by everything they can do and here I am standing lost and demotivated feels have no skills. If anyone can understand my situation and can guide me that will be really helpful for me. Please help me out .
I think you are doing pretty good, just stop overthinking much.
You are still young, have lot of time to take responsibilities, prepare/upskill yourself
One thing at a time, focus on solving 1 problem only. Pick the real one, your job See what's the mostly used tech in your project and learn it online, get good at it, then again analyze, pick the second weakness in your job and get good/average at it. Don't think of taking breaks or preparing govt exams, they are just escape plans the fear hormone in your brain is telling you. Once you are performing decently in your job maybe 1 year after, think about what to do next, govt jobs or whatever you wanna prepare. Don't overload the brain, our work is into tech, for which you always need a relaxed mind to perform well.
As I joined here as 2 years experienced and as a Sde 2, plus they have put me in fast paced project from scratch. They will expect me to complete complex stories independently. I am getting freezed thinking how will I be able to deliver that to them.
Stop thinking and just do your job. Switch every few years for more monnies. It's that simple
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