I m a married female with a toddler. Getting divorced soon as i caught my spouse cheating. I m hardworking, sane, respectful, a good friend. Any man over 33yrs here who is willing to be a partner and a father? Just to share life and have companionship. No regular marriage stuff or intimacy. You are free to pursue such interests outside. But need to be honest with your time and effort for the partnership.
You are leaving a cheater and replacing him with someone whom you are asking to cheat outside. Relax and think , don't take impulsive decision. Life is long , later once you start having affection with new partner then the fight will again start that why are you pursuing intimacy outside and you will have to go with the same pain again
You got it wrong. If it is decided beforehand, it is not cheating. Also, I will not be emotionally invested. It is just companionship. Marriage is more of friendship and respect than emotions.
If you welcome someone else just after your divorce, it will likely only be a rebound. You are literally coming out of marriage, have a kid to take care of, so please take some time to think things through, what do you want in life, how you want things to be, and your way forward should not just be about having a companion. You want a father figure for your kid, so you need to understand what your kid's needs are, and then find those too in the other person.
Also, what @SpotlessReservation said is also right, when you want someone to be a father to your kid, and a partner to you, there is a strong chance that feelings would get developed between you both. I will request you to think about it. You don't want to tell the person to have a partner outside for their emotional and physical needs, only for you to backtrack on your own words in future. Explore a possibility of having a fulfilling relationship with them. What happened with your current partner shouldn't drive your outlook towards your life.
Thank you very much for this detailed post. I will think about this.
If I do not find a partner, how do I get a father figure for my child? Any idea? He is a toddler and has no specifics as yet. However, as he grows, he will start looking up to the main male character in his life, to learn from and imbibe qualities of.
That's very tricky to answer. But from my life experience and observation, one thing I can say is that requirements of kids are very simple, they only need love, affection, time spent together and guidance in their life. Even single mothers provide absolutely wonderful life to their kids.
In case you are unable to find a partner, then the role of a father figure can be fulfilled by your father (child's grandparent).
Pause and reflect on what you are seeking. If you don’t seek intimacy or normal marriage stuff from the father it’s impossible for your child to grow in a healthy home environment. Your boy will grow up having wrong notations about
marriage or a relationship. You are not doing any favour to him by doing this. Anyhow this is just my opinion.
💯 The choices you make are going to greatly affect your child's mental health, behaviour, and personality. You definitely need to think about both the present and the future, for your child, as your choices can have negative or positive effect, and you will only begin to witness the consequences when your child enters into his teenage.
Thank you very much for your insight! Yes, surely, I m redoing my thinking now!
Give him a chance , everyone do mistakes. Don’t end relationship
Cheating is not a mistake. And you can't tell someone to give their cheating partners another chance. Not being with a partner who is not loyal to her, is a boundary that this woman chose to keep, and is sticking with it. Please respect her choices.
I gave him many chances. For over 2 years.
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