Maybe we should stop coaching candidates/ jobseekers to send thank you notes and start teaching hiring managers to send them instead.

And yes I am being explicit - the Recruiters should not do it. THE HIRING MANAGERS should do it.

Why should a candidate thank the hiring manager, the panel, the org? Why aren’t we thanking candidates for making time, prepping for the interview, and sharing their vision? so much for your lip service on value, empathy, yada yada huh.. 🤮

If you’re out here teaching candidates "make sure you send a thank you note" but haven’t once coached your hiring managers to send one back, what are you even doing?? Have you just given up on holding your team accountable? Or is it that your hiring managers are too "busy" to listen? Oh right, they’re sitting on the high table, way too important to show gratitude. Or wait ... maybe - it’s easier for you to mouth your opinions to job seekers because you’ve tried telling your team, and they blew you off. Oh wait.. did I miss - they have more important work than doing all this ...right?? 🤦‍♂️

If your hiring team doesn’t have the humility to acknowledge the time spent by candidate and the value brought to the table, then the process has already failed. Gratitude must be mutual. The hiring process shouldn’t be a power play but a genuine exchange, where both parties recognize the value of the other. And if your managers aren’t willing to engage on that level, it’s no wonder the candidate experience feels hollow.

For a moment - reverse the expectation. you know what happens, when a hiring manager thanks a candidate for their time, for their thoughts, for sharing their unique perspective - it’s not just polite - it’s profound.

A smart hiring manager would take this as an opportunity to show real appreciation, not because they have to, but because recruitment isn’t about power - it’s about building a connection. And in that connection, they can offer something way more meaningful. They could recognize something specific the candidate said, which shows they were actually listening. They could suggest readings or resources that align with the candidate’s goals, proving they see potential beyond just the role. They could share insights about the team but in a way that’s personal, giving the candidate a sense of where they could grow, not just where they fit. They could even offer industry knowledge - make it a real exchange of value. Not just another robotic transaction.

Or maybe I’m wrong. Maybe the real flex is to keep pushing those candidates to say thanks while you sit back and bask in your self-importance. Because, obviously, they should feel lucky to be there, right?

I was taught gratitude cant be delegated. But what do I know, right? 🤷‍♂️