FreshRaita
FreshRaita
Stealth

Things women said that will change the way you look at things around you

  • It's hard being the only woman in the leadership, in a room full of older men. If you don't hang out with them, you are excluded. If you do hang out with them, you got to get you act right with nods and smiles along the small talk. If If If If.. thats the loop you are caught in.
  • Imagine being the only female developer in the team. BRO code is the default setting. DEV code took a sabbatical. All of you go hang out with beer, smoke and whatever and what if I am not into that? I am not a so called BRO then. And dont even get me started on the casual jokes and me not being into gaming and TT. Go ahead ask me.. How does she even fit in then.. Right??
  • Declare I’m taking a "Wellness" Day. Might as well hold a flag and say "Guess who's on her period?! ME ME ME!" So much for your policies
  • I can’t even begin to count the number of times I’ve been interrupted, spoken over..
  • Dress too casually, you're not taken seriously. Dress too nicely, you're trying too hard. I've been judged for my clothes more times than I can count - too much, too little, too fashionable - yep been called that too. It’s exhausting
  • I think my presence is acknowledged only when it’s convenient for them. My opinions and insights are ignored until they need a female face to tick a diversity box
  • I’ve stayed late and worked weekends just to prove I’m just as dedicated as the others (even when I was doing next weeks work)
  • Finding a mentor who truly understands the challenges I face as a woman in tech is nearly impossible. Male mentors often don’t get it, and female mentors are spread too thin
  • I was told to speak up but when I did, I was labeled aggressive. I'm expected to be assertive but not too assertive, confident but not too confident. Also if I am progressing too fast, I have someone special rooting for me for something special in return - that the peoples verdict. And then the gossip starts.

A large majority of Orgs, Founders, Leaders, HR are getting by doing the bare minimum.

4mo ago8.9K views
BiryaniEnthu
BiryaniEnthu
Stealth4mo

And women try to point these out, they are labelled as 'feminists' or "oh you are activist types"

My first boss was a female, and she had the tag of being too strict. Apparently, strict meant she didn't go to parties after work, she minded her own business, followed up well on her KPIs.

Once she was scolding the team for some missing work, people joked 'she is probably cranky because she is not getting enough s*x'. First job and I learned how corporate treats women up in hierarchy. We cannot even ask respect as junior members

FreshRaita
FreshRaita
Stealth4mo

Judging is corporate national sport

DarlesChickens
DarlesChickens
Razorpay4mo

Unfortunately, its sad that we cant take any steps to end this but there can be a possible band aid for this.

There are few Options but women can try here at workplace :

  1. Try getting a behavioural change in the team to make you feel inclusive with the help of your skip level or founder.

  2. Try being a guy in the team full of guys.

  3. Make a new woman join your team and make a girl gang of sorts. (Easiest)

FreshRaita
FreshRaita
Stealth4mo

Bandaids don’t fix a fracture or stab wound as far as I know

DarlesChickens
DarlesChickens
Razorpay4mo

Thats true, but pragmatism should takeover during these kinds of issues.

Trying to change corporate policies on gender inclusivity is a very very uphill task.

Few of the women I know on the team have become used to not hanging out with the team as guys dont indulge in non veg jokes or small talk when women teammates are around them.

Guys when together have lotta brocode though.

ScholarlyTreasury
ScholarlyTreasury
Startup4mo

@FreshRaita, either you should write a blog, or Grapevine should have a "follow" feature — because all your posts are insightful and worth reading.

FreshRaita
FreshRaita
Stealth4mo

@ScholarlyTreasury You are too kind - Alfaaz, andaaz aur awaaz alag ho sakte hain - Jazbaat to wohi rahegi :) [follow wollow choro - Kuch log padh lein wohi kaafi hai]

ScholarlyTreasury
ScholarlyTreasury
Startup4mo

No really, reading about these real, specific incidents was so much more enlightening than any of the generic "inclusivity" stuff that people often say. Keep posting! :)

LimitedEdition
LimitedEdition
Gojek4mo

Product manager Here. Worked in starts ups all my life. Until a friend pointed out, I didn't realize I'm the only female in my pod of 12 devs, 2 senior data scientists, 1 QA and 1EM. All male. I was trying so hard to be equal at work that I didn't even notice, had myself become a man, I think. Recently I interviewed at a company where I interviewed with a female engineering manager. I've a decade of experience and this was my first female EM. I was so happy to meet her! The wait was long.

Qwerty2398
Qwerty2398
Stealth4mo

Men undergo 10 times more shit like this. All i see in that post is a competent women being pulled down by office politics. Everybody in the office wants growth and promotion. Every one tries to pull down the other using any means necessary.

Women should not expect special treatment as equality.

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