SnoozyJellybean
SnoozyJellybean

Turning into a workaholic is ruining my life

I have been into programming since I was 15. I have been working in the IT industry for the past 8 years and have been very successful in my domain because of my will to solve problems at work as interesting puzzles.

But this interest has slowly and gradually formed a huge part of my life to a level that if I am away from it for sometime, it gives me anxiety.

I am afraid this will affect my other parts of life like giving attention to my family, spending ample time with them.

As a process, I started to have no code Saturdays so that I am completely away from my laptop and spend time doing other mundane things. But this has not reduced the anxiety.

Any suggestions for reducing my workaholic nature ?

22mo ago
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PerkyKoala
PerkyKoala

u need a girlfriend or a mba

SnoozyJellybean
SnoozyJellybean

I am married to the love of my life 😅

PerkyKoala
PerkyKoala

If u are in Maharashtra go to torna, rajgad, raigad, forts ....away from tech...nature :)

WobblyPancake
WobblyPancake
Meta22mo

Start smoking up. Weed is the ultimate motivation killer. You will appreciate the life you have.

SnoozyJellybean
SnoozyJellybean

I need suggestions to sort my situation not to distort them 😆😆😆

DerpyQuokka
DerpyQuokka

Please never resort to drugs. I’ve seen so many folk use drugs to chill. Does not lead to happiness in the long run. And definitely no fulfilment

GroovyMarshmallow
GroovyMarshmallow

Start gym and I think it’s in your blood to be problem solver. Rather than running away from something accept it and yeah whenever you get anxious open the laptop and build something

DerpyQuokka
DerpyQuokka

I agree with this. This is something I do myself. When work gets too much and I’m limited by my area of influence, I try to focus on working out. I have a lot of energy and I want to do a lot. It’s just about focusing that energy.

Another thing is trying to start your own thing with small steps

PerkyNarwhal
PerkyNarwhal

I wish I was like you

FluffyNugget
FluffyNugget
Plivo22mo

You need more detachment to have any effect. People literally go on retreats or far away from society for too long to really get aligned with themselves. You seem to be at that infliction point.

SnoozyTaco
SnoozyTaco

Try to build a routine that does NOT involve work. I have recently joined cult fit and try to go there atleast thrice a week. I have found it to be very useful and relaxing. Also, as someone said in the comments, try doing new things. Join a couple's pottery class with your wife, join a weekend painting class, try rock climbing. Additionally, try planning adventurous activities for the future. This will give you something to look forward to. For example, I'm planning to go to one of the highest ski resorts in the world which is located in our very own Kashmir :) the season starts from Dec and ends in March.

SnoozyTaco
SnoozyTaco

Start small and try making improvements in your lifestyle. This will invariably help you improve your mindset which might lessen your anxiety. Good luck to you!

BubblyDumpling
BubblyDumpling

Everything is okay and you are doing right.

Just overthinking and panicking because of habit of having hard time (solving puzzles)

JazzyPretzel
JazzyPretzel

+1 Overthinking and panicking are two of my biggest problems as well. Hope to get rid of them

FloatingBagel
FloatingBagel

I had similar issues at a smaller level though, got laid off, got some time to think. After there is sometime till I start at next place but I’m separating my sense of fulfillment from money(have made a good bit) so doing job is not a requirement going forward. In simple terms need a mindset change and not get influenced by peers, friends and family to define your sense of self.

PerkyBoba
PerkyBoba
Cred21mo

Start a pet project. That is physically tangible and close to your soul. Doesn't have to be marketable / commercial.

Let's say something like,

  • Make some furniture (im starting this one actually)
  • Make a gokart or a combustion engine (in my todo list)
  • Gardening
  • Teaching (anything except Programming)
  • Drawing
  • Music
  • Brain dumping (aka blunt writing)
  • Nomad Travelling
  • Social work
  • Theatre

It may sound like I'm projecting my aspirations onto you. And maybe I am because I can relate what you are going through. I've been interested in variety of topics / hobbies and stuff up until I got the job.

Since then I'm all about code only. I feel that never ending burning desire of solving things doesn't matter at what scale they are. Though it has helped me tremendously professionally. But it has made me insufferable in conversations and social gatherings.

That is why I'm picking up mindful activities to keep me busy and unable to think about computers. Somehow, it is helping and now I'm hating myself a bit less.

WobblyWaffle
WobblyWaffle

Pick up a hobby like motorcycling. You will meet great new set of people.

FuzzyNoodle
FuzzyNoodle
Zivame22mo

I feel you should remain yourself. If coding gives you relief, keep coding. Code for greater purpose. Do a startup. Open source. Teach coding. Help improve other at coding. Pass on this baton. Don't let anyone use you for this.

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