SillyQuokka
SillyQuokka

27F Engineer: Software Engineering Not Worth It For Women?

Is it just me or is even a job at the best Tech companies just don’t make any sense for women?

There are always women who have great family support or husbands that are understanding and encouraging. But generally why does it seem like becoming a senior woman in tech even at the best places is sort of unattractive and significantly increases your odds of “failure” outside of work e.g. divorce,having kids late?

Interested for thoughts from both men and women.

10mo ago
MagicalNarwhal
MagicalNarwhal
TCS10mo

Dont have kids - if possible dont marry either..earn and have fun would be my advice

CosmicNugget
CosmicNugget

but who will take care of her when she will be old 🙃.

SillyQuokka
SillyQuokka

it i not that easy. we rarely have autonomy about our bodies.

BouncyUnicorn
BouncyUnicorn

Hmm, someone I know has more than 10+ patents(ex-broadcom), is a tech evangelist and an implementation advisor for a cloud tech, have 3 kids with fourth on the way. Sometimes you just need a supportive environment.

SillyQuokka
SillyQuokka

I agree with this tbh.

DizzySushi
DizzySushi
Google10mo

Wtf, why have 4 kids?

JumpyPretzel
JumpyPretzel

That will stand true for any corporate career, nothing to do with Software Engineer I think. You need to climb up the career ladder, it will always be a struggle and huge sacrifice on personal family front. How is Software Engineer career any different. And talking of this career line, there are a few companies which give great benefits to women, they may not pay great, but they have great work culture, flexibility of work schedule, you can leave office early and connect from home for some time etc.

DizzyLlama
DizzyLlama
Atlys10mo

@shpinq is right

QuirkyMarshmallow
QuirkyMarshmallow

Software Engineering changes every few years so you cannot take it slow. You have to be on top of tech. In other careers, you can gain experience slowly and that will still be valuable

MagicalNoodle
MagicalNoodle

Industry is same for all. Let's not involve man-women thing here. Everyone is struggling these days, time is challenging for everyone working in IT.

SillyQuokka
SillyQuokka

"But generally why does it seem like becoming a senior woman in tech even at the best places is sort of unattractive and significantly increases your odds of “failure” outside of work e.g. divorce,having kids late?"

GigglyPanda
GigglyPanda
IBM10mo

Seen many senior women at my workplace, never felt like there are more of men than women, workplace can’t match it so I always thought that its just based on merit and we had more men on senior positions.

ZestyPretzel
ZestyPretzel
Swiggy10mo

There are so many men out there who don't have a job or earn 5x less than a financially successful woman. How many financially successful women have you seen marry, have kids with a 5x less financially successful man. The odds of that are pretty low. There would be exceptions but that's not the norm. While it is encouraged that women challenge gender norms by being successful at work, it is not encouraged that men challenge gender norms by being unsuccessful at work. What's wrong with that? A successful woman wants to pair up with an equally busy successful man, but that increases odds of failure. Why not challenge gender norms and let a successful woman pair up with an unsuccessful man? Well, blame patriarchy for that, but that's not going to really challenge gender norms. Males are expected to live by rules of 19th century while females play by rules of 21st century.

SillyQuokka
SillyQuokka

Smash the patriarchy

ZestyPretzel
ZestyPretzel
Swiggy10mo

So are you ready to marry an unsuccessful man to really smash patriarchy?

SqueakyWalrus
SqueakyWalrus

Wdym ? Can you maybe add in more of your thoughts on what led you to this conclusion or question ?

FluffyHamster
FluffyHamster

I think what OP means is that it has become harder for women to climb the corporate ladder because of far too great personal sacrifice. Am I right OP?

SillyQuokka
SillyQuokka

I have noticed many women in my circle face these difficulty.

JazzyBagel
JazzyBagel

It’s mostly same for both men and women. As you grow up the ladder, you have to sacrifice some thing - friends, family, health, relationships.
Kuch na kuch to chutega hi bunny. So jo hai jahaan hai.. enjoy.

SillyQuokka
SillyQuokka

This answer reeks of male privelege

BubblyCoconut
BubblyCoconut
Wipro10mo

It could be because people tend to realize late that there are opportunity costs of everything and have the mindset early on that they can have it all but it's not practical.

SillyQuokka
SillyQuokka

@NeighborhoodCoderman Yeah true.

FluffyPancake
FluffyPancake

Being a woman, I can understand what OP is trying to convey.

ZippySushi
ZippySushi

I feel this as well, my partner also faces this dilemma and the rush to do certain things at a certain time.

SillyQuokka
SillyQuokka

Thanks SwiftJean0

GroovyWaffle
GroovyWaffle

This kind of sacrifice is done by men usually in all corporate jobs and has been for a long time. Just that they don’t talk about it. After an age, most people working are not doing it for fun. But for responsibilities, especially post marriage, where every decision needs to be thought through in that context. Hence the quest for that next promotion, hence those long hours in office, having to spend extra hours showing you can manage upwards and reportees. These men spent time away from their kids/family and were somehow castigated for the same. Still they had the support system or divorces in cases the husband was deemed unavailable. You are going through the same grind and would need same kind of support. Might be easier in tech compared to other industries.

SillyQuokka
SillyQuokka

Wrong answer. I am disappointed in you.

BouncyQuokka
BouncyQuokka

@AITookProd wrong response. I am disappointed in you.

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