From IIT to IIM to Forbes 30U30 to Burnout: My Hustle Culture Nightmare
29F, IIT & IIM grad. Thought I had it all figured out. Boy, was I wrong. Post-grad, I went full-on hustle mode. Guru worship 24/7. Gary Vee, desi "entrepreneurs" on Insta - you name it, I followed. Their mantra? Work 20hrs, sleep 4, crush life. Sounded legit to my overachiever brain. My life became a freakin' checklist: - 5AM wake-up: Check - Cold shower: Check - Meditation: Check - 12hr workday on my "revolutionary" startup: Check - Networking events instead of family time: Check - Endless online courses: Check Rinse and repeat. Every. Single. Day. Guilt was my constant companion. Watching a movie? Slacker. Attending a cousin's wedding? Waste of time. Celebrating Diwali? Think of all the work you could be doing! The kicker? Being a woman in tech. Felt like I had to hustle 10x harder just to be taken seriously. Result after 3 years of this madness? - Forbes 30U30 Asia: Check - Failed startup: Check - Nonexistent social life: Check - Chronic anxiety: Check Guess what: All that hustling led to jack shit. Now, at 29, I'm unlearning this toxic BS. Realizing success isn't about IIT tags, funding rounds, or how little you sleep. It's about actually living. To all the desi kids killing themselves over JEE ranks and CAT scores: STOP. Your life is worth more than a percentile. Success without happiness is worthless. Don't waste your 20s like I did, chasing someone else's definition of success. Anyone else been through this hustle culture hellscape? How'd you break free?
oh please. another startup founder crying about how hard they have it. give me a break.
you know what's hard? working a real job. 9 to 5, every day, no bullshit about "changing the world" or whatever.
you chose this. all that "hustle culture" crap? you ate it up. now you're complaining? seriously?
and don't get me started on this FIRE nonsense. it's just rich kids playing pretend poverty. try living on a real salary, then talk to me about "financial independence."
you startup types are all the same. think you're so much better than us regular workers. then you burn out and act surprised. what did you expect?
maybe if you'd spent less time chasing vc money and more time in the real world, you'd know how good you had it.
grow up. get a real job. join the rest of us in the real world. it's not that bad once you get over yourself.
Grim
Student
2 months ago
Why are you p's in a bunch? Did you not get into IIT or IIM after multiple tries? Or is this the typical male aggression towards seemingly smarter women who achieve more than you?
BTW, most of them really are better than you but seeing the bitterness of your response, I guess you somewhere deep down know that already.
DaringTrain
Stealth
2 months ago
Why are people comparing who's dick is bigger (even though one if the participants here is a woman)? Jobs of both employer and employee are hard, both are choices people make, both are "real" jobs, both have their own sets of comforts and challenges. I don't think the OP even demeaned people with "real" jobs. She just recounted her experience and advised that it's not all rosy blindly following success stories and hustle-gurus. One has to weigh the cons as 95%+ people actually end up shutting shop, burning out and losing out on lucrative careers in the hope of building the next unicorn. And not all of them can become salesmen of their own failure and then sell courses on how to lose ones savings to crypto (Yes Warikoo, talking about you). It's a story that needs to be told as well.
See more comments
Thanks for sharing your story man. Shows us that its not all only uphill in life, there are downshifts as well
jinyang
Stealth
2 months ago
She literally said 29F - wow, there’s casual sexism here also 🤦🏻♂️
satan
Stealth
2 months ago
man is used commonly, irrespective of gender. here too it’s used as a general term jinyvestor!
looks like you’re itching to create a scene, when there is none. stop with your madeup casual whatever bullshit!
See more comments
jinyang
Stealth
2 months ago
Look, I've been in VC for years. Seen this story play out too many times. It's tough.
We pushed too hard before. Always wanting crazy growth, insane hours. Yeah, we were part of the problem.
But things are changing. Slowly, but they are. Most investors I know now? We don't expect this 24/7 grind anymore. It's not healthy, not sustainable.
Your story? It's a reminder of what we're moving away from. More VCs are talking about founder mental health, work-life balance. It's not just lip service.
To founders reading: Take care of yourself. For real. The "hustle till you drop" era is fading. You need sleep. You need a life outside work.
We're learning. Trying to do better. Stories like yours help push that change.
Thanks for sharing. It matters 🧡
DaringTrain
Stealth
2 months ago
Is it honestly?
Still VCs gauge founder dedication via - Let me keep a meeting at Tuesday 8:30AM or Sunday 7PM and see if the founder asks to reschedule.
Or saying stuff like - Kyu bhai, why are you still doing WFH. All of "us" have started WFO. Make your employees come 5 days a week and start yourself. If they are coming at 10, you be in office at 9. If they are leaving at 8. You leave at 9.
I have seen no such improvements.
Of course, I have seen countless podcasts where VCs preach founder mental health, WLB - But never seen it in practice.
Grim
Student
2 months ago
@DaringTrain Source: trust me bro?
See more comments
First become successful
Then tell others to not become successful :p
Grim
Student
2 months ago
That's pretty rich coming from a dude working at Byju's
Your chronic anxiety, non existent social life etc Has got nothing to do with what you did.
I am very much example of someone who lived his life in the manner which you regret not doing and still I have this issues...
I think a balance is very much necessary....
This hypothesis is interesting. You say, her anxiety has a different cause, since you too had anxiety, even though you did not have similar experiences. So, the hypothesis you have is - "Anxiety has a common cause for you both which she is apparently not seeing yet"
Well then, you are missing the forest for the trees. Don't we all love to bucket things in strict black and white, to make decisions easier? Fact is, anxiety has multitudes of causes. You may, at some layer/level, as you go higher/roll up, think you can generalize and put a label on the common cause, similar to how all rivers eventually lead to the sea.
Might or might not be true, some rivers just run dry, which means we overestimate our capacity to "generalize and taking all the intermediary inputs as they should mean, to form a coherent equation", when in reality we have made wrong assumptions/unconscious omissions
Coming back, this means even though some of her anxiety might be due to the common factor 'x' in you both, 'x' might not impact her as much as it impacts you, and most of her anxiety might be due to 'y' she described above. We are all allowed to have nuances and don't need to conform to common metaphorical behavioural kumbaya expected by society
Why the rant? - cause these generalised statements although harmless at a surface level, cause the sufferers to doubt themselves and spiral down further, whilst they should have been focusing on recovery.
Sometimes we all need to keep in check our egos/fears, which will inturn automatically reduce the barriers to tuning up our empathy that's been suppressed by these doubts, so that we can be aware of our Sampling and Selection biases (or any other for that matter) that cause us to generalize too quickly and unintentionally cause harm
Most 30 under 30 people are scammers and frauds, never seen any one doing anything good
Nothing comes free. You chose this lifestyle, glamour, money & have to pay sacrifices in return, every single day. Every single decision small/big in life of yours have led up to this, embrace that, cherish how far u ve come. Even if were meant to shut down & go bonkers/bankrupt in future, u ve still come far & made it in your own way, remember there are 1000s more wanting what you ve achieved, feel grateful about. And above all that if you feel if this is it, QUIT & rethink
what you really want in life? Family, relationships, money, fame, time to rethink your priorities
Btw would like to connect & discuss ideas if at all up for it :D, peace ! ☮️
30F here, burnt out but due to a diff path, really worked hard for placements, landed a FAANGish job and gave it way more time than necessary.
All those day in the life videos made me feel where are people getting this much time (I was already quite deep and senior in the products I was working on, I guess the vids were made by people who were new to the system), anyway.
Post Covid world happened and I got cut because someone had to be on the other side of layoffs.
I am taking a break, I sacrificed way too much for the job so making a choice now to chill a bit.
Take some time off, define what success truly means to you and not some external barometer which keeps benchmarking you against someone or the other. Trust me if you had created a unicorn some asshole would have deemed you a looser because you aren’t married yet, don’t have children etc etc.
Connect back with your childhood hobbies / passions. They work wonders to calming your brain and relaxing you.
I have decided to not work for companies which have a huge problem with people taking career breaks or low ball them just because they can. It may take a hit on my salary but I need some of my sanity back.
All the best to you in your journey.
This principal o not working for companies which throw tantrum in case of people having break.... Don't you think that will narrow down list a lot becuase in this recession type scenario there are a lot of candidates ???
Honestly, what I have experienced is if the managers really want you on there then it wouldn’t matter as much. Most people understand the need for a break after a long time of work.
The break is usually used to low ball you and making you feel guilty, calling out that you are rusty at your craft and stuff (tbh still have to experience it first hand but a few peers have dealt with this). This results in people coming in with guilt leading to over work at lower amount of salaries, a win win for companies.
I could be wrong about this because I am still to experience the tantrums this first hand, but honestly really needed some time off.
If a company is still questioning career breaks after 2022 given how many people were made to quit it is just reflective on the culture inside the company.
See more comments
I think you are doing great...
It was never meant to be easy.
It was never meant to be a race.
Try not to hustle your way to an early grave just to get on the Forbes billionaire list.
Take a step back, forget all the hustle bullshit.
Evaluate your options
Then either quit and get a job or try again if you have the resources/support and it still suits your long term goals.
And this time do it in a way that works for you.
StanleyHudson
Stealth
2 months ago
It takes courage to admit this.
You have my respect
Same albeit Srcc IIM ABC , 29 M ...took crazy risks didn't take placements thought will do something big ..worked very hard in startups ...
Burnout
Now I understand this means not much . Live a slow happy life do meaningful work you can work just 4 hours and it's actually enough..
Trying to have family life , social life and personal life now ..
Man that’s some perspective. Pretty much same profile but engg, I am about to go down this path maybe, wondering will it be worth it, taking risks and leaving ‘standard’ job’.
Yonro
Stealth
2 months ago
Damnnnn. 28 F. Still figuring out life. And my session with my therapist today was just about this. No, I didn't go to an IIT or IIM or Forbes 30 under 30, I'm on the other side of the spectrum. I can totally feel you how being a woman in tech we have to try extra hard to prove it to people that we're competent. It's an unconscious bias that we have as a society where men are considered competent until proved otherwise and women are considered incompetent until proved otherwise.
I get the burnout, I get the toiling. Since I'm not from an IIT I have to also work extra hard to prove it to people that they I am a woman who didn't go to an IIT but I have brains. Reading your answer I got the reality check that life's not been a cakewalk for you too. We're all clueless and figuring out. And going to therapy made me realise that it doesn't hurt to pause, sit back and ask myself what I actually want.
I guess, it ultimately boils down to living a life that's our "own" and doing things that "we" want.
Wishing you all the best in your journey ahead. A big hug to you. I feel you sis. Sending you lots of love, calmness and healing. May you be able to live a life that's true to you ❤❤✨
Ajmonk96
Stealth
a month ago
First of all its all you women made men very competent we don't have any choice but to beat women gender in always because of we don't women and society think we are loosers, nobody wants to be around a unsuccessful men, but people don't mind to be around a women even if she got no job, u just need a pretty face.
Yonro
Stealth
a month ago
@Ajmonk96 I see where you are coming from. And it's true because of patriarchy men have to always strive to be "providers" and you're also right with the "pretty face" comment. It's an unconscious social bias, women are expected to be pretty and not have an opinion or do or say much. Women didn't create these rules and gender roles, patriarchal society did 😅
Both you and I are victims of the same ssystem, just that our struggles are different. I acknowledge your struggles as a man and would appreciate if you acknowledge our struggles too. It's only then we can have a better society. Hope things get better for you, bro. Wishing you the best! :)
See more comments
DaringTrain
Stealth
2 months ago
Yeh Forbes30U30 Asia wale Forbes30U30 India walon ko aise dekhte hau kya - Tu toh nakli hai!
"Forbes 30U30 Asia" is the end result you got out of all that grind. You get recognised in the end unlike a normal salaried employee who spends his lifetime finding recognition and simultaneously balancing his financial state but rarely achieves it.
Grub96
Student
2 months ago
humble brag 🤔?
Comedicpresident
Stealth
2 months ago
Another validation post 🤦🏻♂️
Life can be a bitch, try to maintain balance bw work and social life, take out more time for yourself
The right way to live is to become financially independent somehow and then make time to do whatever u want to. Real wealth is having the power to say no or abruptly changing ur schedule with no impact on ur or ur dependant’s well being whatsoever. But again, on road to financial independence u should not sacrifice ur health and mental well being on such a long stretch that it has unavoidable repercussions later.
PaleAnybody
Stealth
2 months ago
Financial Independence is another snakeboil being peddled these days. There's nothing like that. By the time you make your target xx Million, your lifestyle catches up, commitments increase. No way can you get out of this hamster wheel!
I think you’re referring to FIRE. I don’t mean it that way. Earn and grow enough through investment that u can take care of ur current lifestyle & inflation. If one plans to upgrade lifestyle with time then it should be attainable in least amount of efforts or else u would again need to hustle.
Habhaithik
Stealth
2 months ago
You need to live, let me take you out
Dm
Ajmonk96
Stealth
a month ago
Score
Habhaithik
Stealth
a month ago
I can fix her
Discover More
Curated from across
