How do you figure out if someone is genuinely in or using you for rebound ?

A friend of mine was dating a girl, convinced his parents to offer marriage. But girl chickened out last minute, married one her father had chosen. This really fucked him up, he was determined to get married anyhow, whom didn't matter. 1 Yr later, found a girl parents found, got pregnant before first anniversary. Over 3 years, their marriage has seen divorce, domestic violence and 5 star hotel celebrations (oscillated to extremes of good and bad) I'm seeing another such case. Office colleagues were dating, he proposed marriage, she declined. He said stuff that shouldn't have been said, she threatened POSH (did not complain officially) 2 months later, he has found someone to marry through arrange marriage route Break ups are bad, but half of the problem were you. Instead of working on that, people take it on ego

This is coming from a guy I know you dont get asked this question as most people assume that you have more options than men so its easier to make the switch. But having options "may" not always make things easier. Every bond is different. And most mature women never go for temporary validations (rebounds, intoxications etc) Would love to hear about the triggers that follow, and their respective coping mechanisms Open up ladies !!! Stanley Hudson is curious

When I was doing my masters in economics last year, I met a girl. I was instantly attracted to her, however never got a chance to ask her out. Eventually I did, and we went out a couple of times. I really liked her but I think she considered me a good friend. I got mixed messages from her. Once, she sends me text messages in the middle of the night asking me to take her to lunch tomorrow and another she doesn't reply back to me. Anyway I persisted but eventually she kinda distanced herself from the relationship after we hooked up. I had fallen for her but she wanted no part of anything. Didn't return my calls or texts, or when she did made up excuses to avoid hanging out. So I told her how I felt. She was angry at me for ruining our friendship even though we hooked up, which she instigated. I never saw her again for the 3 months( she went to Delhi for some work) but she called me occasionally if she needed to talk or something. So she left and we remained in touch via Whatsapp. On one occasion, I made a passing joke as to how she spent time with every dude there but me. She became very offended and we stopped communication. She started it up again but didn't apologise. Finally, I actually visited Delhi because another friend of mine was getting married and invited me. I didn't visit her because of time constraints and she became pissed, and wouldn't talk to me, accusing me of doing it on purpose. That was 6 months ago. I'm going to a friends birthday soon and she's gonna be there. Would it be bad for me to hold the grudge? Or should I just let it go. Bear in mind, she avoided me whilst hanging out with others and then accuses me of avoiding her. I don't wanna be a douche but I don't wanna be a pushover, someone who can call me whenever and I'll come running. Please help Grapevine! 🙏🏻

I'm a 25 y/o F. Met my schoolmate through Instagram. For 6 months we were dating. I clearly mentioned him that if we are getting involved physically then we should define our relationship as a long term one. I trusted this guy and went ahead in getting physically involved multiple times. The chemistry was so good and irresistible for both of us. He was giving me signals like saying “now I'm taken I guess “ “ i’m not a person who leaves someone just like that “ “ i’ll take care and not leave “ and all on top of this he was planning a trip with me. And in the starting of this relationship his ex girlfriend who got married called me and threatened me and she in fact bitched about me to this guy. He promised me that he will end things with her and she will not bother me. Ah for god’s sake I feel like a dumb ass for trusting this guy... Two days back he sent me a group pic where he and his married ex girlfriend was smiling. I asked him why would you send this pic at least you could have cropped your part and would have shared. He agreed that sending that pic was his mistake. Later I called him and playfully asked him to delete all his ex pictures because he had cried to me in the past that she had manipulated him hence out of care I asked him to stay away from the memories of her. That's were he got triggered and said me to stay out of his “personal things” he tells me how his 6 year relationship with her transformed him and he would like to revisit those memories it seems… honestly I felt like hitting hard rock at this point and I started to cry to my friend telling that I have been cheated. I then took time and called this guy and said hey I'll be there for you if you want to communicate about this. I'm interested in having a future with you. For which this guy breaks the ice telling me he doesn't have even little feelings about me or any love for me. Then I asked if you wanted to have a casual relationship you could have upfrontly said. At least I would have not had any expectations. Two days had gone still feeling hurt. And processing shit. To all women out there never trust words of men. Period. It might trigger some men her, but it is always a man!!!

I always wonder how ppl find it fun/ entertaining/ ok to be in casual relationship, fwb or just for timepass. Does it not feel cheap? Does it not feel gross? Sort of modified modern prostitution. Does it not feel like being used/ taking advantage/ emotionally drained? Does it even feel safe- like a host of std will get exchanged.. What about the false cases if the others decide to charge with post breakup? How do ppl even take it so casually?

I just found out today I’ve been cheated on by my long term girlfriend who I lived with. Turns out she’s been cheating for a few months but she’s only just told me now because she’s fallen out of love for me and she’s fallen in love with him, so she’s leaving me for him. She says I neglected giving her the attention she needed because I was so focused on work I forgot to do the nice things for her like bring her flowers, or take her out for dinner or to just show her how much I loved her. Even though I’m so heart broken and haven’t stopped crying, I do forgive her because it’s true my work hours were bad and because we lived together I kept thinking in my head “it’s fine, ill make it up to her next time”. Plus, I was planning to quit my job once bonus comes at the end of this year to find a more chilled job so I could spend more time with her, I truly am ready to leave my job and that was my plan so I was just holding out until then. But now I won’t have the chance because she said its too late she has already lost interest in me and loves him. But this guy is a software engineer at a FAANG company earning 60-70L a year whilst only having to work 9-5 so he’s richer and has more free time to give her attention. Actually she said he only works around 3 hours per day, he does around 1 hour in morning then 2 hours after lunch and for the rest of the day he’s free to spend time with her, and his company doesn’t notice or mind. So this guy earns almost 3x my compensation for only 3 hours a day meanwhile I’m working 12 hours a day She would sneak out whilst I was at work to go on dates with him or round his house and then she would come back to my home in my bed in time for when I arrived from work so I wouldn’t notice. Now I feel really broken, I’m in no mental state to be working I can’t think about anything else I have deadline for work today and I’m just sat here crying writing this post. I know men are meant to be strong and hold our emotions together but I really am sad. I want to ask for 3 days sick leave at work but I don’t know if this normal and acceptable to do? Given most sick leave would be for grievances like the death of a loved one etc. or am I being a cry baby and I should man up and continue to work?