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Girl Trouble - Am I Bad?

When I was doing my masters in economics last year, I met a girl. I was instantly attracted to her, however never got a chance to ask her out. Eventually I did, and we went out a couple of times. I really liked her but I think she considered me a good friend. I got mixed messages from her. Once, she sends me text messages in the middle of the night asking me to take her to lunch tomorrow and another she doesn't reply back to me. Anyway I persisted but eventually she kinda distanced herself from the relationship after we hooked up. I had fallen for her but she wanted no part of anything. Didn't return my calls or texts, or when she did made up excuses to avoid hanging out. So I told her how I felt. She was angry at me for ruining our friendship even though we hooked up, which she instigated. I never saw her again for the 3 months( she went to Delhi for some work) but she called me occasionally if she needed to talk or something. So she left and we remained in touch via Whatsapp. On one occasion, I made a passing joke as to how she spent time with every dude there but me. She became very offended and we stopped communication. She started it up again but didn't apologise. Finally, I actually visited Delhi because another friend of mine was getting married and invited me. I didn't visit her because of time constraints and she became pissed, and wouldn't talk to me, accusing me of doing it on purpose. That was 6 months ago. I'm going to a friends birthday soon and she's gonna be there. Would it be bad for me to hold the grudge? Or should I just let it go. Bear in mind, she avoided me whilst hanging out with others and then accuses me of avoiding her. I don't wanna be a douche but I don't wanna be a pushover, someone who can call me whenever and I'll come running. Please help Grapevine! 🙏🏻

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Software Engineers on

by DummyUserName

Infosys

Rant post about girl and job

Hi, I am in service based company, Graduated in 2022 and did internship in MERN Stack in BYJU's Exam Prep for 10 mos As I had worked in start up , I am having decent knowledge of at least completing the task. I need to switch badly. Girls were never my friends , no point of GF. Fast forward to now , I am in a project and working on React. There is a girl of same batch and we are working on frontend only. Our dev started in May, and at that time we chit chat for normal queries. After a day or 2 , She started to discuss approach with me, I was ok ( as I was talking to girl no feelings at that time, and was discussing logic). And then slowly the scenario become like she use to call me on teams for any single query , and I in excitement talked to her. I loved her voice had not seen her as our stand up was on teams. I used to help her , and she gives the update like " I am doing this" / " I am doing this , facing some issue, and trying to resolve that " And in each case I was there with her. And then this continued uptill 20 July . I was getting feelings for her , like why a girl is talking to me without even seeing/ knowing. I was interested w/o any reason. I just need a partner to share feelings. And then then due to project requirement , we were asked to come to office. We came on Monday , i helped her normally as we used to discuss with each other on teams. We both saw each other on that day for first time face to face. Her task was going ok, and was supposed to complete on Tuesday, bu by reaching office she use to connect with seniors instead of me and they use to tell her the approach not doing her task. Hence this took full week. I was noticing this from Tuesday to friday (23-26) and we were gradually decreasing our conversation.. Our accomodation is in company's society. I talked to her and her 2 friends in Friday night when I was roaming out. We made plan to go for mall / Iskcon. On Saturday we went outside. For Sunday i asked her to go out she said.......

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Adulting on

by HustleCroc

Greygroup

A School friend who still thinks about his ex gf, used me for his fun.

I'm a 25 y/o F. Met my schoolmate through Instagram. For 6 months we were dating. I clearly mentioned him that if we are getting involved physically then we should define our relationship as a long term one. I trusted this guy and went ahead in getting physically involved multiple times. The chemistry was so good and irresistible for both of us. He was giving me signals like saying “now I'm taken I guess “ “ i’m not a person who leaves someone just like that “ “ i’ll take care and not leave “ and all on top of this he was planning a trip with me. And in the starting of this relationship his ex girlfriend who got married called me and threatened me and she in fact bitched about me to this guy. He promised me that he will end things with her and she will not bother me. Ah for god’s sake I feel like a dumb ass for trusting this guy... Two days back he sent me a group pic where he and his married ex girlfriend was smiling. I asked him why would you send this pic at least you could have cropped your part and would have shared. He agreed that sending that pic was his mistake. Later I called him and playfully asked him to delete all his ex pictures because he had cried to me in the past that she had manipulated him hence out of care I asked him to stay away from the memories of her. That's were he got triggered and said me to stay out of his “personal things” he tells me how his 6 year relationship with her transformed him and he would like to revisit those memories it seems… honestly I felt like hitting hard rock at this point and I started to cry to my friend telling that I have been cheated. I then took time and called this guy and said hey I'll be there for you if you want to communicate about this. I'm interested in having a future with you. For which this guy breaks the ice telling me he doesn't have even little feelings about me or any love for me. Then I asked if you wanted to have a casual relationship you could have upfrontly said. At least I would have not had any expectations. Two days had gone still feeling hurt. And processing shit. To all women out there never trust words of men. Period. It might trigger some men her, but it is always a man!!!

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Data Scientists on

by ProductGod

Ola Electric

Data Scientists on Grapevine: Should I Ask For Sick Leave After Being Cheated On

I just found out today I’ve been cheated on by my long term girlfriend who I lived with. Turns out she’s been cheating for a few months but she’s only just told me now because she’s fallen out of love for me and she’s fallen in love with him, so she’s leaving me for him. She says I neglected giving her the attention she needed because I was so focused on work I forgot to do the nice things for her like bring her flowers, or take her out for dinner or to just show her how much I loved her. Even though I’m so heart broken and haven’t stopped crying, I do forgive her because it’s true my work hours were bad and because we lived together I kept thinking in my head “it’s fine, ill make it up to her next time”. Plus, I was planning to quit my job once bonus comes at the end of this year to find a more chilled job so I could spend more time with her, I truly am ready to leave my job and that was my plan so I was just holding out until then. But now I won’t have the chance because she said its too late she has already lost interest in me and loves him. But this guy is a software engineer at a FAANG company earning 60-70L a year whilst only having to work 9-5 so he’s richer and has more free time to give her attention. Actually she said he only works around 3 hours per day, he does around 1 hour in morning then 2 hours after lunch and for the rest of the day he’s free to spend time with her, and his company doesn’t notice or mind. So this guy earns almost 3x my compensation for only 3 hours a day meanwhile I’m working 12 hours a day She would sneak out whilst I was at work to go on dates with him or round his house and then she would come back to my home in my bed in time for when I arrived from work so I wouldn’t notice. Now I feel really broken, I’m in no mental state to be working I can’t think about anything else I have deadline for work today and I’m just sat here crying writing this post. I know men are meant to be strong and hold our emotions together but I really am sad. I want to ask for 3 days sick leave at work but I don’t know if this normal and acceptable to do? Given most sick leave would be for grievances like the death of a loved one etc. or am I being a cry baby and I should man up and continue to work?