No easy way out, buffalo run into the storm minimizing the amount of pain, time, and frustration they experience from that storm. 
  
 Experiences only helps you make better decisions for future.  
  
 carry the boats, the logs 
 Stay hard.

Software Developer

There is no trick, u gradually get used to it that they r not what they used to be, u have to move on, form a routine stick to it, 2-3 months u will feel better, there will be times where u feel like u r not able to move on, but you will, trust the process, hit the gym(easiest way to get out)🙂

I have been hitting the gym when I was with her. I know but like fuck bro how we are gonna find someone and marry. Kese log hein sarey

Software Engineer

All you need to knock at right shop and spend some money 😎🤤

Bruh.... :((( it's a weird feeling. And when it happens for first time it's weird af

Data scientist

You have to. You have no other options. 
 Think like this and you'll figure it out.

@shutthetechup ..this seems to be one sided love...just try to forget and move on, you will find someone better

Human resources

Pretty good advice in all the comments lol 
  
 Sab heart broken romeos assemble ho chuke hain 😂 
  
 You're not alone buddy. We're all trying to figure it out. Time heals most wounds from my experience. Just give yourself time to heal. I personally take a year or two after a serious breakup before i can start dating again.

Generalist

You never come out of this. You just start loving someone else, more. A part of you always loves that person who left you. ￼

Product Manager

This will be a tough pill to swallow, but “love” that forces someone to be with you when they no longer want to is toxic. 
 Everyone has their reasons to stay with their partner. And if you run out of reasons, that’s it. 
 If someone still stays, it can lead to more complications like cheating, lying, mental torture etc.  
  
 To your point of coming out of such a situation, time is the best healer. 
 There’s no other permanent solution. You can numb the pain with n number of distractions including activities, substances, etc. 
 But ultimately staying focused on your own well-being, and still keeping an open mind to the possibility of someone better coming around is the only way forward.

Product Designer

You have to come out of it and I won't lie, it takes effort and it's not easy. One general way to handle this is to lower your expectations in general from other people (including your family). It makes life a little easier. Don't get very much attached to any other person or living being for that matter.

I don't know but this works for me...I have discussed my breakup with so many people that after sometime this was not an issue for me...the things which used to make me cry were not bothering anymore. So just share this with many of your friends. You need to vomit out those feelings.

Team lead

Focus on yourself. Work on your flaws. Maybe go therapy. Remember there are many people who love you for who you are.

Took me 6 months.. still couldn’t come out completely… everyone has their own way to accept things… there is no one thing can give you solace… like you accept happiness try and accept the grief as well.. you ll be doing fine

Out of sight out of mind. 
  
 1. Delete everything which reminds you of that person. 
 2. Pursue a Goal which will keep you occupied. Channel the anger to something productive. 
  
  
 Its okay to think of them and feel sad but you will come out of it.

Sales manager

Phewww, I guess it's one of the toughest things to deal with. Maybe you can for therapy and reflect upon the person/ the relationship, what it meant. Give yourself time to heal. Grieve the relationship, the possibility, the could haves and should haves, that's very important part of the process. I know, it totally sucks when you thought someone is meant for you but they leave. It hurts like hell. I'd say cry as much as you want to. 
  
 And yeah, try to understand your attachment style, love language, try to understand yourself better. You can read this book called Attached. 
  
 A lot of times we yearn for unavailable people because of unresolved childhood trauma so work on that. 
  
 Accept that it's over (hardest part) and surrender to the universe (again really hard). 
  
 Trust that God's plan is much better. 
  
 Journal your feelings. Accept your feelings. 
  
 Write letters addressing the person (not to be sent) and burn them and flush them - this really helps releasing emotions. 
  
 Meditate. Listen to heart chakra healing frequencies or heart chakra healing meditation on YouTube. 
  
 Tell yourself that you deserve love. Show yourself small acts of kindness and love everyday. 
  
 Spend time reflecting and writing down what you exactly want in a relationship. 
  
 Wishing you all the best! Hope these tips help!

If there was never a reciprocation of your love, then it is better that the person left. If there was a bond and it got broken, for whatever reason, then don't try to find the reasons right now. It takes time to come out of such things, and it hurts like hell for the most part of it. Just feel whatever you are going through, cry it out if you need to. Meditate, go out in nature, listen to instrumental music. 
  
 Everyone's journey is different. Learn your lessons. Surrender to the higher power if you believe in it. Don't try to extend the process of letting go, if in your heart you feel that this is what was supposed to happen, such the things had come to.

It will take time buddy and time is the best healer.  
  
 Yahan toh sab diljale hain. 
  
 Isiliye jo tumhe ghaas na daale, tum unpe mitti daal do.

Senior Consultant

Like you genuinely go ahead and love someone seriously and they just leave. How did you come out of it???

Fu** this

Fu** this- Grapevine

It’s clear to me that this isn’t good for me. My interaction with the outside world and being in the present is inversely proportional to how much I use IG/smartphone.

IG is obv the strongest drug, but in general want to be more conscious about what I do on my phone, when Inuse it.

Looking for genuine advice. Please help 🙏🏻

People who reduced IG/Smartphone usage, how did you do it?

Welcome to Data Scientists's Private Community

I just found out today I’ve been cheated on by my long term girlfriend who I lived with. Turns out she’s been cheating for a few months but she’s only just told me now because she’s fallen out of love for me and she’s fallen in love with him, so she’s leaving me for him.

She says I neglected giving her the attention she needed because I was so focused on work I forgot to do the nice things for her like bring her flowers, or take her out for dinner or to just show her how much I loved her.

Even though I’m so heart broken and haven’t stopped crying, I do forgive her because it’s true my work hours were bad and because we lived together I kept thinking in my head “it’s fine, ill make it up to her next time”. 

Plus, I was planning to quit my job once bonus comes at the end of this year to find a more chilled job so I could spend more time with her, I truly am ready to leave my job and that was my plan so I was just holding out until then. But now I won’t have the chance because she said its too late she has already lost interest in me and loves him.

But this guy is a software engineer at a FAANG company earning 60-70L a year whilst only having to work 9-5 so he’s richer and has more free time to give her attention. Actually she said he only works around 3 hours per day, he does around 1 hour in morning then 2 hours after lunch and for the rest of the day he’s free to spend time with her, and his company doesn’t notice or mind. So this guy earns almost 3x my compensation for only 3 hours a day meanwhile I’m working 12 hours a day 

She would sneak out whilst I was at work to go on dates with him or round his house and then she would come back to my home in my bed in time for when I arrived from work so I wouldn’t notice. 

Now I feel really broken, I’m in no mental state to be working I can’t think about anything else I have deadline for work today and I’m just sat here crying writing this post. I know men are meant to be strong and hold our emotions together but I really am sad.

I want to ask for 3 days sick leave at work but I don’t know if this normal and acceptable to do? Given most sick leave would be for grievances like the death of a loved one etc.

or am I being a cry baby and I should man up and continue to work?

Data Scientists on Grapevine: Should I Ask For Sick Leave After Being Cheated On

Sometimes people use certain people for the transient phase to heal themselves and then move one once they are able to rediscover themselves. 
While this may not be purely intentional at times, this does leave a sense of worthlessness in the other person's soul. And then the person feels "used" and breaks other people's heart and the cycle continues.

It can become a vicious loop if things are not clearly communicated.

How do you figure out if someone is genuinely in or using you for rebound ?

Data engineer

MOM said this line to me, today again. 

There have been countless times, when I have heard this from throughout my childhood. And then, people ask me why you don't love your mom. 

I don't feel bad anymore as I have accepted this sentence for life. But it made me understand that, words like these can kill anyone's self confidence, moral and belief to stay alive. 

I am thankful to my mom, that she made me strong enough in my early days that when someone says anything harsh to me now, I don't give a fuck. 

Guys, always be wise to choose the words you speak to someone, even if you are in immense rage. 

I am using this platform to share this, because I can never tell this to anyone else. Even, I haven't told this to my girlfriend who has been with me for the past 4 years. 

SPREAD LOVE AS MUCH AS YOU CAN ❤

"Wish, I never had you"

Welcome to Office Gossip's Private Community

How did your personal life affect your professional life ? Share your positive/ negative experiences.

When I was doing my masters in economics last year, I met a girl. I was instantly attracted to her, however never got a chance to ask her out. Eventually I did, and we went out a couple of times. I really liked her but I think she considered me a good friend. I got mixed messages from her. Once, she sends me text messages in the middle of the night asking me to take her to lunch tomorrow and another she doesn't reply back to me. Anyway I persisted but eventually she kinda distanced herself from the relationship after we hooked up. I had fallen for her but she wanted no part of anything. Didn't return my calls or texts, or when she did made up excuses to avoid hanging out. 

So I told her how I felt. She was angry at me for ruining our friendship even though we hooked up, which she instigated. I never saw her again for the 3 months( she went to Delhi for some work) but she called me occasionally if she needed to talk or something.

So she left and we remained in touch via Whatsapp. On one occasion, I made a passing joke as to how she spent time with every dude there but me. She became very offended and we stopped communication. She started it up again but didn't apologise.

Finally, I actually visited Delhi because another friend of mine was getting married and invited me. I didn't visit her because of time constraints and she became pissed, and wouldn't talk to me, accusing me of doing it on purpose. That was 6 months ago.

I'm going to a friends birthday soon and she's gonna be there. 

Would it be bad for me to hold the grudge? Or should I just let it go.

Bear in mind, she avoided me whilst hanging out with others and then accuses me of avoiding her.
I don't wanna be a douche but I don't wanna be a pushover, someone who can call me whenever and I'll come running.

Please help Grapevine! 🙏🏻

Girl Trouble - Am I Bad?

Broke up in 2020, thought of giving all my energy to my job as my career won't wake up one day and say I don't love you.

Jan 2024 update - Got silent laid off from EY.
Anyone else going through the same trauma?
How to heal?

which is worse: Toxic ex or toxic workplace

External Audit

A friend of mine was dating a girl, convinced his parents to offer marriage. But girl chickened out last minute, married one her father had chosen. This really fucked him up, he was determined to get married anyhow, whom didn't matter. 
1 Yr later, found a girl parents found, got pregnant before first anniversary. Over 3 years, their marriage has seen divorce, domestic violence and 5 star hotel celebrations (oscillated to extremes of good and bad)

I'm seeing another such case.
Office colleagues were dating, he proposed marriage, she declined. He said stuff that shouldn't have been said, she threatened POSH (did not complain officially)
2 months later, he has found someone to marry through arrange marriage route 

Break ups are bad, but half of the problem were you. Instead of working on that, people take it on ego

Rebound marriages are the worst

Consultant

Is it okay to like someone else even when you are already in a relationship?

Confused feelings

Founder

This is coming from a guy
I know you dont get asked this question as most people assume that you have more options than men so its easier to make the switch.

But having options "may" not always make things easier. Every bond is different. 

And most mature women never go for temporary validations (rebounds, intoxications etc)

Would love to hear about the triggers that follow, and their respective coping mechanisms 

Open up ladies !!!
Stanley Hudson is curious

Women of GrapeVine, how do you handle an emotional rejection ?

How Do You Realize Your Worth Around Negetive People?

What all did you not see, and now years later come at you like "How could you be so dumb?"

What's your story of "I was blind in love"?

(Situation)
A boy and a girl had a relation for 6+ years. 
Both worked upon many things be it themselves or career and did enjoy happy moments and each other company. 

Like any other relation, there were disagreements, fightings and arguments. 
And after months of repeating cycle of disagreements and arguments, one fine day a boy is being questioned about his love and was also asked to mention the happy moments both have shared till now? 
A boy was shattered completely and decided to take a break from this relationship to think whether he should continue or add a full stop to it. He conveyed the same to the girl.

To which, Girl took break as a break-up.
And states herself vulnerable and starts to fall for the other person who was her colleague.

Earlier she did state the colleague as a friend and now says she couldn’t hold up her feelings for him (the colleague).

Didn’t she cheat on His 6+years boyfriend?

Is this a cheating?

I always looked at her and felt she is so beautiful, charismatic, and had an infectious smile. Looking at her made me smile broo.

Chapter 1
One day I decided to ask her out. I messaged her and our conversation grew then she spilled out that she also liked me a lot. And she was glad that I asked her out.

Chapter 2
She had studied in an all girls school and she had a stereotype about boys that they are all stupid and bad. And girls and boys should never be together. I was fine because atleast she liked me 😂. One fine day she asked me to break up with my brosss. I asked her why?
She said your friends are all playboys and I don't like the way they look at me. (Disclaimer: My bros are really nicest guys and I have known them since childhood they are the best gentlemen). We had an argument which didn't end on a good note.


Chapter 3
I left to a new state for my Job. After I reached there she messaged me that we can't talk and we have to stop whatever we had. I got anxious and worried and spent my 5 months not being able to contact her. I got into depression. Then me being restless on my birthday I came back to my hometown. At exactly 11:59PM when my bday was going to end she messaged me "Happy Birthday". I was so happy to see her message.

Chapter 4
We started talking and she said that she is leaving to Canada for her higher studies. I was happy for her but at the same time I was sad. I didn't want to see her go. We both cried and stayed on call till morning watching each other sleep.

Chapter 5:
She reached Canada and she completed her formalities and procedures. We talked for few more days but then eventually she started giving me hints that she is not interested. Then one day she abruptly messaged me and said we can't talk and we have to end everything. I cried the whole night, because there was no way for me to contact her and she had blocked me.

Chapter 6:
It has been 1 yr to that day. Somehow I have gone numb. I'm slowly forgetting her.

She left me.

Welcome to Confessions's Private Community

What was the reason for your break-up?
Are you the dumper or dumpee or was it the external circumstance?
Do you still love him/her?
How did you overcame?

Have you ever experienced break up in relationship ?

Hey Folks, 
I am a 22Y M, and want to improve my dating life. I am an extrovert person and can talk to opposite genders very well. 

The only issue I face is to build a romantic connection. I suck at that. Don't know why, but flirting makes me feel cringe. 

Something about me:
1. I got my first girlfriend in the 8th standard. Dated for a year. 

2. In class 9th, I experienced love for the first time and ngl I still feel the same for that girl. We dated for two years. 

3. In the 11th and 12th standard, I had 1 girlfriend each standard but couldn't continue for xyz reason. 

4. I then last dated in my third year (last of 2021), but long distance was not my thing. 

5. Since, then I feel cringe whenever I try to flirt and don't want any love shove, because I never felt the same, I felt for that girl in class 9th.

6. Since, my last breakup I am only able to fulfil my physical needs but now I want to change that and find someone with whom I can build a strong connection


So folks here, who know the ultimate love game here. Please help me out.

[THREAD] Flirting 101: The Dating Game

Welcome to IT Company Discussion's Private Community

Few weeks ago I checked Workday and saw that I was not promoted, while other people here were promoted apparently. Apparently, you could check in your workday whether you were promoted or nah.

Anyway, I was disappointed that I was not promoted from C11 to C10 even after working so hard. In my moment of weakness, I confided in my girlfriend. We have been dating for 3 months now. I was in a horrible mood and wanted to let it all out.

She decided to break up with me by the end of that week and said that it wouldn't work out between us. It was a very sad moment for me, after not being promoted and then the break up.

But FINALLLLYYYYYY!!!! I got promoted from C10 to C11. Apparently, workday method was not true for me. I am very happy that I got promoted. I told my family and friends. Since, me and my girl had recently broken up not many people had known about it so someone must've asked about my promo to her.

Now, she's saying that why did I lie to her that I did not get a promo(I did not lie at all) and she wants to get back together and said that she is sorry.

What should I do now? I can't resist her anymore. 

Please help me

C11 to C10 story: My girlfriend left me and now she wants to come back in my life...

Growth Manager

Desperation for love/need to be loved can make you lower your standards, then you end up with wrong people & get hurt by wrong people because you didn't keep your standards because desperation to get loved was bigger than, 'is this the right person for me?'

Fu** this

Discover More

Misc on

by Jordon Lee

Citymall

People who reduced IG/Smartphone usage, how did you do it?

Data Scientists on

by Isaiah Dean

Ola Electric

Data Scientists on Grapevine: Should I Ask For Sick Leave After Being Cheated On

Adulting on

by Jordon Lee

Stealth

How do you figure out if someone is genuinely in or using you for rebound ?

Misc on

by Aaron Dean

Contlo

"Wish, I never had you"

Office Gossip on

by Isaiah Carmden

Microsoft

How did your personal life affect your professional life ? Share your positive/ negative experiences.

Adulting on

by Kalan Olive

Adobe

Girl Trouble - Am I Bad?

Big 4 on

by Isaiah Lee

Big 4

which is worse: Toxic ex or toxic workplace

Adulting on

by Kalan Everett

Stealth

Rebound marriages are the worst

Office Gossip on

by Matilda Olive

Self Employed

Confused feelings

Adulting on

by Dezi Lee

Stealth

Women of GrapeVine, how do you handle an emotional rejection ?

Adulting on

by Kendall Everett

Stealth

How Do You Realize Your Worth Around Negetive People?

Adulting on

by Kendall Lee

Stealth

What's your story of "I was blind in love"?

Office Gossip on

by Kendall Vernon

Self Employed

Is this a cheating?

Adulting on

by Coy Lee

Infosys

She left me.

Confessions on

by Coy Gabriel

Møller-Maersk

Have you ever experienced break up in relationship ?

Misc on

by Anise Taye

Contlo

[THREAD] Flirting 101: The Dating Game

IT Company Discussion on

by Kalan Lee

Accenture

C11 to C10 story: My girlfriend left me and now she wants to come back in my life...

Adulting on

by Aaron Gabriel

CARS24

Love and Standards