Hahaha possible to share what that behavior was?

He reopened a PR that manager closed and asked me to “be aware” next time. Lol both program and technical manager saw that because it was in slack group.  Then they checked PR and found his passive aggressive review comments. 
  
 They gave him a warning to speak respectfully.

AI Engineer

Very funny, they offered you a leave for this😄😂 You should have told, “who do you think I am, a 10 yr old kid?”😊

Software Engineer

Analyst

I was laughing the entire time internally on that call, thank god the video wasn’t on

Guys today management apologized to me for bad behavior of a colleague and said “I am sorry you had to go through this, feel free to take leave if you require”. This is the most American shit I have ever seen.

Guys today management apologized to me for bad behavior of a colleague and said “I am sorry you had to go through this, feel free to take leave if you require”. This is the most American shit I have ever seen.- Grapevine

Welcome to Data Scientists's Private Community

I just found out today I’ve been cheated on by my long term girlfriend who I lived with. Turns out she’s been cheating for a few months but she’s only just told me now because she’s fallen out of love for me and she’s fallen in love with him, so she’s leaving me for him.

She says I neglected giving her the attention she needed because I was so focused on work I forgot to do the nice things for her like bring her flowers, or take her out for dinner or to just show her how much I loved her.

Even though I’m so heart broken and haven’t stopped crying, I do forgive her because it’s true my work hours were bad and because we lived together I kept thinking in my head “it’s fine, ill make it up to her next time”. 

Plus, I was planning to quit my job once bonus comes at the end of this year to find a more chilled job so I could spend more time with her, I truly am ready to leave my job and that was my plan so I was just holding out until then. But now I won’t have the chance because she said its too late she has already lost interest in me and loves him.

But this guy is a software engineer at a FAANG company earning 60-70L a year whilst only having to work 9-5 so he’s richer and has more free time to give her attention. Actually she said he only works around 3 hours per day, he does around 1 hour in morning then 2 hours after lunch and for the rest of the day he’s free to spend time with her, and his company doesn’t notice or mind. So this guy earns almost 3x my compensation for only 3 hours a day meanwhile I’m working 12 hours a day 

She would sneak out whilst I was at work to go on dates with him or round his house and then she would come back to my home in my bed in time for when I arrived from work so I wouldn’t notice. 

Now I feel really broken, I’m in no mental state to be working I can’t think about anything else I have deadline for work today and I’m just sat here crying writing this post. I know men are meant to be strong and hold our emotions together but I really am sad.

I want to ask for 3 days sick leave at work but I don’t know if this normal and acceptable to do? Given most sick leave would be for grievances like the death of a loved one etc.

or am I being a cry baby and I should man up and continue to work?

Data Scientists on Grapevine: Should I Ask For Sick Leave After Being Cheated On

Stop comparing yourself with the new guy, take a few days off and go on a vacation. Given that she lived with you, it must be a strong connection which would take quite a long time to wear off. You'll learn to live with it in a few months. All the best and take care

Business Analyst

Product Manager

Last month I posted about firing a female employee after maternity that created a debate: https://share.gvine.app/fdu9iQyCrQP6Ehn89

For anyone interested in how things turned out, here it is...

TLDR: Employee/new mom filed an FIR, police closed it after she admitted she quit after we tried to put her on a PIP. (In FIR she said she was wrongly terminated)

The women's commission of India summoned me after and it was an experience! I got scolded for about 2h by four women... but in the end they just scolded me like angry teachers? I guess they tried to give the lady some satisfaction by humiliating me. Pretty sad if that's all they can do to represent women with genuine cases.

Overall the average grapevine user said I was in the wrong for putting a new mom on a PIP, regardless of performance before and after pregnancy.

Most critical folks told me I should've informed the employee about performance issues before maternity. Lawyers say I made the right choice and protected the company.

It's a bit messed up that laws designed to protect women at work end up making things worse for them. Because of legal fear we went directly to a formal PIP with recorded calls with HR, the direct manager and others refused to do anything without legal advice. But in the end, she filed a case, so perhaps the cold approach recommended by lawyers was sadly correct.

Lastly, I finally saw that outside of my own business echo chamber (both men and women business people), society holds pregnant women and new moms valuable above all else. Someone like me who is a bachelor & slave to capitalism has a totally different set of values, as such some people think I'm fair game for insults. But I hope by making products of value I can make a positive impact in my own way.

Thanks for providing your perspectives.

Update: Firing an employee after maternity

Investor

My company has an unlimited leave policy. Also the company recently laid off my coworker for taking too many leaves. What's going on here ?

The “unlimited” leave policy does not mean you can go on leave for an unlimited duration, no? It’s obvious there should be a reasonable balance.  
  
 It doesn’t help that the unlimited leave policy saw a majority of the folks take lesser leaves. When you have a fixed set of leaves and lapsing, people end up taking leaves just because the count is there.  
  
 And another reason is that you get encashment for remaining leaves when you’re laid off or when you quit. With unlimited leaves, the company saves this cost.  
  
 It’s criminal to think that any company would make policies that favour their employees. All policies favour employers at all times 😊

Software Developer

Welcome to Office Gossip's Private Community

Start owning your leaves

This works only  with western managers. India managers will take it to heart and make it an ego issue. The effect will be felt on something else. If the manger is a man, he will let it go if you correct yourself next  time. If the manager is a woman, will never see the end of it. 

Always treat  Indian managers like street dogs. You dont pet them , but you dont throw stones at them either..

Consultant

Welcome to Software Engineers's Private Community

I remember making 7000/month and spending all of it on travelling by Uber everyday because my dad didn't let me use the car and the Summer heat was making me melt. I needed an AC so I instantly blew almost 4000 rupees/month on just Ubers. With the rest I went to a nice restaurant with my mom+dad for lunch and it is my most memorable moment in life. I felt like I had grown up.

The internship was also nice and I learnt a lot of things about building systems for a startup. It was one of the best 8 weeks I had spent learning something new and cool. 

I bet I used to look like Shinchan in this picture when I was in the office and seeing 40 year olds talking to 20 year olds like they were their buddies.

I was about to call them uncle hahaha.

What was your story from your First Job/ Internship?

Thread: Share a Story from your First Job/ Internship...

I have had over 8-10 managers in my life in a career spanning over 8 years, 5 of them were female managers and unfortunately the experience with 4 of them were very bad. They’re either micro managers, or power hungry, want to be dominant over male juniors, misuse their power, cannot take any kind of resistance or refusals or disagreement from juniors.

I have always heard female managers are more empathetic but unfortunately I’ve faced the opposite. Just wondering, was it just bad luck or is it actually the case?

I tried to introspect in this and I found at least 4 points common across all these female managers:

1. They are all from Tier 2/3 Cities
2. They’ve studied in premier institutions IIT,IIMS,Wharton even one of them
3. They either have a younger or elder brother who got more love in the family
4. Their husband is at a higher senior level than them in professional life/career

Unpopular Opinion: Female Managers are Dominating

I have found females in corporate are much more opportunistic and shrewd than men. They think that is the only way to rise. Yet to encounter an empathetic female in jobs.

Growth Manager

How to tell manager that I have f###ed up

A friend used to work as AVP at HSBC’s credit analyst team in Bangalore Office. Apparently, one of the female AVPs loves gossiping and went around the office saying our guy doesnt work at all and is shitting on a crucial project. When reported to the lead VP, he failed to take any action.

Upon threatening intimation to HR, the lady got wind of the whole situation and calls up our guy applogising and stuff. But the back bitching doesnt stop and this time our guy ends up leaving the toxic workplace.

No cookies for guessing who’s in line for promotion next.

Other reported incidents against which no actions were take
1) making juniors cry
2) deleting teams billable hours without informing anyone
3) not informing about leaves and then creating chaos over non completion of work

and the show is just getting started….

HSBC India shitshow

Welcome to Indian Startups's Private Community

Got a job but now got another offer at 80% hike. What’s the best excuse to leave the job?

Best excuse to leave job within a month?

Don't give an excuse, have an honest conversation. Believe it or not, Honesty is the policy, even in these times

UX/UI Designer

What's the craziest reason someone got fired?

Here's mine at my previous job. A collegue of mine was fired for smoking weed in the bathroom. He got back to his laptop and he was high as fuck, I am pretty sure he didn't even understand why he was getting fired.

I currently work in a project that is driven by CEO and he is very intimidating. I work my ass off to make sure he gets what expects but today he was especially aggressive during the call. After the call I asked him to wait up for two mins and started telling him that I am getting intimidated by him. Although he was nice to me when I confronted him, now I am feeling embarrassed because I broke down a little when I spoke. Tears started flowing and I am feeling like a weak person. Just fyi I am an adult male.

I ended up breaking down in front of my CEO

It's ok to express your emotions.  Especially in times of stress / duress.  
  
 You'll be fine.  
  
 It's also important to sometimes define boundaries - if that was the intent of your talk with him today.  It's feedback and if he is an understanding leader, he'll give you your space and time.

Sales Manager

Product Marketing Manager

There's this coworker who comes off as extremely aggressive during discussions and individual interactions. This is causing a shift in entire team's environment in the wrong direction. Personally this is causing me to avoid getting into discussions with them. I'm looking for ways to deal with this person and keep the work environment peaceful.

Here are some of the observations about their behaviour:

1. Highly opinionated and treat others who have a different opinion as hostile. 

2. When someone else is trying to explain something which needs to be explained serially A -> B -> C, and they are interested in C, they get restless and start badgerring with questions about C while the other person is still on A.

3. In discussions, which require a deep understanding of the product, which they do not have yet, instead of admitting that they have doubts and asking questions, they try to act as if they understood it when clearly they didn't because their senior was present. For instance, they paid attention in the beginning and then got busy on their phone during the meeting and when asked if they understood, they just told the agenda of the meeting instead of what was discussed.

4. This is what tipped me off the edge. During a meeting which didn't involve their senior, they got easily frustrated when others were giving an opinion different from theirs and pointing out the issues with their opinion. After a couple of minutes, it turned into a heated argument and they started raising their voice and started making illogical sarcastic remarks. And after a bit of that they changed their tone into rude frustrated disinterest and rudely remarked "do whatever you want to do".

So far we have tried to use humor to deescalate the situation. But this is clearly not gonna work in the long run, and their behaviour is getting worse day by day. 

I am trying to avoid a confrontation with them because it is not my place and I don't want it to get ugly.

Need advice on how to deal with an aggresive coworker

Welcome to IT Company Discussion's Private Community

After all rounds cleared successfully during HR discussion for offer she told they can't offer more than my current. If that was the case why can't they inform initially before taking interview.

Worst experience with IBM.

SAP Consultant

Welcome to Product Managers's Private Community

I’ve been insufferable at work since 2-3 months now. Total time at my company- 6mo 21 days. Profile - Product Management 
My engineering team seems to be taking no ownership and always have their brahmastra ready that it didn’t come from product’s side. QA again is so great that I have to sit and thoroughly test each release end to end. 
My manager- he’s quite interested in taking my career fwd as a project manager. (I am not) He’s a total asshole and is quite concerned with start dates and end dates of tasks ( mind you, I am not the one actually writing the code but somehow the dates are my responsibility). He totally micromanages and somehow keeps blaming me for each small thing.
Examples:
- My engg team isn’t taking ownership: “you aren’t keeping them motivated enough”
- This isn’t a last minute change : “Do you attend standups? You aren’t communicating well”
- The QA tested and approved it, hence we released it. : “But did you test it? “
- Here are the release notes. : “This looks too jazzy, did you copy from GPT”
- Here are the release notes. : “This looks too basic, did you not copy from GPT”

I could go on forever. 

Gust: I am quite unhappy and is causing me unnecessary stress everyday. Also I don’t feel there’s a solution possible

Should I rage quit?

me  on indisciplinary grounds. The manegement also cited that I've been quite notorious with taking a lot of leaves during my stint at this particular place and they aren't appreciative of that. They also mentioned that if they grant me a leave, it'll showcase that they are biased towards me and hence other employees will ask for leaves as well.

I'm really concerned and I am considering resigning given how the situation is. I have a lot of other issues with the firm and if I had to cite them, it'd be a 4000 word essay.

Confused as what should I do.

Part 2 IB Associate

One of the founders at my past workplaces told me 

"24 year old like yours must not take a week of vacation" 😂

(The vacation in discussion was "official time off" for EVERYONE + 2 extra days that I took as PTO)

Work life balance

It can be either a strange workplace policy, an altercation with a manager or absolutely anything else.

Guys today management apologized to me for bad behavior of a colleague and said “I am sorry you had to go through this, feel free to take leave if you require”. This is the most American shit I have ever seen.

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I asked manager from US team to cancel Friday evening calls,he canceled daily evening team call for Friday and set up one on one with me.TF