I just found out today I’ve been cheated on by my long term girlfriend who I lived with. Turns out she’s been cheating for a few months but she’s only just told me now because she’s fallen out of love for me and she’s fallen in love with him, so she’s leaving me for him.
She says I neglected giving her the attention she needed because I was so focused on work I forgot to do the nice things for her like bring her flowers, or take her out for dinner or to just show her how much I loved her.
Even though I’m so heart broken and haven’t stopped crying, I do forgive her because it’s true my work hours were bad and because we lived together I kept thinking in my head “it’s fine, ill make it up to her next time”.
Plus, I was planning to quit my job once bonus comes at the end of this year to find a more chilled job so I could spend more time with her, I truly am ready to leave my job and that was my plan so I was just holding out until then. But now I won’t have the chance because she said its too late she has already lost interest in me and loves him.
But this guy is a software engineer at a FAANG company earning 60-70L a year whilst only having to work 9-5 so he’s richer and has more free time to give her attention. Actually she said he only works around 3 hours per day, he does around 1 hour in morning then 2 hours after lunch and for the rest of the day he’s free to spend time with her, and his company doesn’t notice or mind. So this guy earns almost 3x my compensation for only 3 hours a day meanwhile I’m working 12 hours a day
She would sneak out whilst I was at work to go on dates with him or round his house and then she would come back to my home in my bed in time for when I arrived from work so I wouldn’t notice.
Now I feel really broken, I’m in no mental state to be working I can’t think about anything else I have deadline for work today and I’m just sat here crying writing this post. I know men are meant to be strong and hold our emotions together but I really am sad.
I want to ask for 3 days sick leave at work but I don’t know if this normal and acceptable to do? Given most sick leave would be for grievances like the death of a loved one etc.
or am I being a cry baby and I should man up and continue to work?
FAANG wants to know location of that guy
but why?
To support you by firing him
Stop comparing yourself with the new guy, take a few days off and go on a vacation. Given that she lived with you, it must be a strong connection which would take quite a long time to wear off. You'll learn to live with it in a few months. All the best and take care
I will try but it is hard when you trust someone with so much
It is hard and there is no cheat code to it. Accept that it will take a lot of time to heal and try to keep up the it is what it is attitude. Reconnect with family if you can.
Some times staying single looks to be a good decision on hearing or reading stories like this ! Iam not going to advice or give any tip right now becoz at this point in time , nothing will be useful or help you to come out , this is a process and you need to accept it fully that it will take a quite a lot of hard time to come over it , the only thing you should make sure that not accepting her back or trying to be in contact with her, which would actually delay the healing process. Cry as much you can today and start the healing journey from tomorrow , all the best 👍
@Nevergiveupper I will heal and rise like a phoenix.
That's the spirit man !
Ye kaisa pyaar hai😒, "she’s fallen in love with him, so she’s leaving me for him."
Kya ho gaya hai logon ko?
Aajkal pehle wala pyaar kaha. Ch***pa hi hota hai sab... Bahot Kum log khaas karte ladkiya saccha pyaar kar paati hai. They have options bro
Thats true
I have used this statement many times
GIRLS HAVE TOO MUCH OPTIONS
Hey ,
It's good that snakes are out of the bag, imagine if this happened after getting married or something.
She is in the wrong,in order to escape accountability,She says things like 'you don't buy flowers/attention etc'. Classic hoe move.
Find someone mature to date next time.
Take a week off go for a solo trip,meet new people (never compare yourself to that faang guy)you have dodged a bullet.Now she is his headache.
Never spend this time alone.Don't get into bad habits (just because she ruined your life, you don't get to ruin your health) It's okay for men to cry ,I'm still embarrassed to share this but I have also cried a few years back(felt hopeless & helpless at the time.)
Make sure to not spend this time alone.If you can't go on a solo trip.Spend time with your parents(go for trip with them)or loved ones.
@Paneerlabadar You are right. Thank you so much.
I don’t know how to start this. Honestly, I never thought I’d be the guy writing a story about getting divorced. But here I am, sitting in my small apartment in Bangalore, staring at the walls, trying to make sense of how everything fell...
So your work was more important than your relationship.. you made a choice.. guess you have to live with it. Nothing...
How did you deal with a breakup when you were working? I feel like I should take a break from everything but I really can't afford to lose my job. My mind's become hell.
Me : I am not feeling well and have asked for sick leave. Manager : Okay but is this a genuine sick leave? I was pissed off after I saw this question and What are your views on this guys 😏?
