FluffyHamster
FluffyHamster

Data Scientists on Grapevine: Should I Ask For Sick Leave After Being Cheated On

I just found out today I’ve been cheated on by my long term girlfriend who I lived with. Turns out she’s been cheating for a few months but she’s only just told me now because she’s fallen out of love for me and she’s fallen in love with him, so she’s leaving me for him.

She says I neglected giving her the attention she needed because I was so focused on work I forgot to do the nice things for her like bring her flowers, or take her out for dinner or to just show her how much I loved her.

Even though I’m so heart broken and haven’t stopped crying, I do forgive her because it’s true my work hours were bad and because we lived together I kept thinking in my head “it’s fine, ill make it up to her next time”.

Plus, I was planning to quit my job once bonus comes at the end of this year to find a more chilled job so I could spend more time with her, I truly am ready to leave my job and that was my plan so I was just holding out until then. But now I won’t have the chance because she said its too late she has already lost interest in me and loves him.

But this guy is a software engineer at a FAANG company earning 60-70L a year whilst only having to work 9-5 so he’s richer and has more free time to give her attention. Actually she said he only works around 3 hours per day, he does around 1 hour in morning then 2 hours after lunch and for the rest of the day he’s free to spend time with her, and his company doesn’t notice or mind. So this guy earns almost 3x my compensation for only 3 hours a day meanwhile I’m working 12 hours a day

She would sneak out whilst I was at work to go on dates with him or round his house and then she would come back to my home in my bed in time for when I arrived from work so I wouldn’t notice.

Now I feel really broken, I’m in no mental state to be working I can’t think about anything else I have deadline for work today and I’m just sat here crying writing this post. I know men are meant to be strong and hold our emotions together but I really am sad.

I want to ask for 3 days sick leave at work but I don’t know if this normal and acceptable to do? Given most sick leave would be for grievances like the death of a loved one etc.

or am I being a cry baby and I should man up and continue to work?

10mo ago
PerkyWalrus
PerkyWalrus
CARS2410mo

FAANG wants to know location of that guy

FluffyHamster
FluffyHamster

but why?

PerkyWalrus
PerkyWalrus
CARS2410mo

To support you by firing him

GigglyUnicorn
GigglyUnicorn
Groww10mo

Stop comparing yourself with the new guy, take a few days off and go on a vacation. Given that she lived with you, it must be a strong connection which would take quite a long time to wear off. You'll learn to live with it in a few months. All the best and take care

FluffyHamster
FluffyHamster

I will try but it is hard when you trust someone with so much

GigglyUnicorn
GigglyUnicorn
Groww10mo

It is hard and there is no cheat code to it. Accept that it will take a lot of time to heal and try to keep up the it is what it is attitude. Reconnect with family if you can.

DerpyCoconut
DerpyCoconut

Some times staying single looks to be a good decision on hearing or reading stories like this ! Iam not going to advice or give any tip right now becoz at this point in time , nothing will be useful or help you to come out , this is a process and you need to accept it fully that it will take a quite a lot of hard time to come over it , the only thing you should make sure that not accepting her back or trying to be in contact with her, which would actually delay the healing process. Cry as much you can today and start the healing journey from tomorrow , all the best 👍

FluffyHamster
FluffyHamster

@Nevergiveupper I will heal and rise like a phoenix.

DerpyCoconut
DerpyCoconut

That's the spirit man !

JumpyLlama
JumpyLlama
EY10mo

Ye kaisa pyaar hai😒, "she’s fallen in love with him, so she’s leaving me for him."

Kya ho gaya hai logon ko?

BouncyHamster
BouncyHamster

Aajkal pehle wala pyaar kaha. Ch***pa hi hota hai sab... Bahot Kum log khaas karte ladkiya saccha pyaar kar paati hai. They have options bro

PrancingDumpling
PrancingDumpling
Swiggy10mo

Thats true I have used this statement many times
GIRLS HAVE TOO MUCH OPTIONS

TwirlyDumpling
TwirlyDumpling

Hey , It's good that snakes are out of the bag, imagine if this happened after getting married or something.
She is in the wrong,in order to escape accountability,She says things like 'you don't buy flowers/attention etc'. Classic hoe move. Find someone mature to date next time.

Take a week off go for a solo trip,meet new people (never compare yourself to that faang guy)you have dodged a bullet.Now she is his headache.

Never spend this time alone.Don't get into bad habits (just because she ruined your life, you don't get to ruin your health) It's okay for men to cry ,I'm still embarrassed to share this but I have also cried a few years back(felt hopeless & helpless at the time.)

Make sure to not spend this time alone.If you can't go on a solo trip.Spend time with your parents(go for trip with them)or loved ones.

FluffyHamster
FluffyHamster

@Paneerlabadar You are right. Thank you so much.

PrancingDumpling
PrancingDumpling
Swiggy10mo

Bhai aap shaadi kr lo
problem solve

FluffyHamster
FluffyHamster

@AwsLambda not a good advice especially when I am in emotional trauma.

PrancingDumpling
PrancingDumpling
Swiggy10mo

Sorry brother pr ab age ho gyi h toh new girlfriend toh ni banaoge So Shaadi suggest kiya

QuirkyJellybean
QuirkyJellybean

The sickness you feel after being cheated on >>>> sickness due to fever/headache/minor health problems. So it's perfectly fine to take sick leave.

FluffyHamster
FluffyHamster

@UsableCamper Sachchi?

QuirkyJellybean
QuirkyJellybean

what does your experience tell?

WigglyPenguin
WigglyPenguin

at this point i need proof of these stories, so many of these popping up, most seem fake and copied

anyway posted in wrong channel

QuirkyHamster
QuirkyHamster
EY10mo

Bhai it happens when you trust and love someone that much and suddenly you can see that they disappear this creates a vacuum and it will take time.....but that vacuum is itself an energy and the greater the vacuum the greater the emptiness so the greater the ability to get full..... Good winds bro...... Cheers 🍻.

SparklyNoodle
SparklyNoodle

What an eloquent description ! I am impressed.
Good Job.

QuirkyHamster
QuirkyHamster
EY10mo

Thank you 🙏😊.

FuzzyPanda
FuzzyPanda

Take a week off and go hang out with your friends. If the company can't understand, just quit, you'll anyway find a new good job.

Stay strong bro, it's okay for men to cry

FluffyHamster
FluffyHamster

thank you.

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