Try taking or extending your ML. With MD approved I had heard that leaves are extended. Keep LWP as last option. Also, you can try moving into CIO or internal projects. They are less stressful. Hope you are wfh.

Product Manager

I think almost all of the community can’t even fathom what you’re going through.  
 Super proud of you. Although take help from wherever possible.  
 Physically and mentally, you don’t have to go through alone. And you’re just a human after all.  
 I really hope both of you come stronger out of this.

Staff Engineer

Try to resolve differences with husband, start involving him while raising the child, involve parents and in-laws. I know adjusting is difficult but that's how we can easily get through these challenges. Take help.

Frontend Engineer

Welcome to Software Engineers's Private Community

I’m a working mother. Also a nursing mom living without husband. My stress level has reached new heights due to work and client pressure.

Software Developer

I’m a working mother. Also a nursing mom living without husband. My stress level has reached new heights due to work and client pressure.- Grapevine

How to manage workload with new born baby. I just had a baby and feeling a lot of pressure with office work as well as parenting. 
I want to give lot of time to my baby but it's not getting possible. My wife is on paternity leave and doing most of the baby work. I feels like I am missing lot of things in this phase of my child. 
Please suggest something.

Workload with new born

Tech Lead

I used to be a creative guy in my mid 20s. I learned to play a guitar, could sketch pretty well and also used to work out pretty regularly.
Lift has changed drastically in the last 2 years and I now find myself no time to spend on my hobbies. I tuned 30 recently and have been under slight shock that my responsibilities are bound to increase due to family and work.
I had no responsibility till now and had lived a care free life.
Now that I am engaged, I've realized that I need to dedicate my time for my family, my well being, my upskilling and also some to to evaluate my finances. This has also made me realize that I won't have enough time for my hobbies/interests. I badly want to learn to play an electric guitar and the fact that I won't have much time terrifies me as I need to make a choice of doing something that I love (learn to play a guitar) or doing something that helps me to live a life and pay off my bills which basically is my full time job.
I might have a child in another 4-5 years and the responsibility of having a child terrifies me even more. 
I don't want to make a choice between being there for my child and being there for my work.
I'm not sure if I'm over thinking or just being realistic but not having enough time for yourself due to work and family has been bothering me lately. 
I'm 30 and the fact that responsibilities are bound to increase in my life terrifies me.
Is this a common and a normal feeling or is this unnatural?

Folks who are working in your 30s, do you still find time to work on your hobbies? If yes, how are you able to manage your family life, work life, upskilling, working out and making time for your hobbies?

Product Designer

Welcome to Office Gossip's Private Community

I have seen pseudo feminism happening everywhere around which has just wasted everyone’s time and energy over debating for false narratives. Does feminism really matter or it brought any change in corporate lives. If yes then why still pay parity exist and why projects have been given on the basis of gender but not on the basis of skill and experience? What’s your take on this ?

Has feminism ever been useful ?

Welcome to Product Managers's Private Community

I am working as a senior product manager in a fintech startup. I am under a lot of stress due to work pressure, continuous badgering from business and tech stakeholders and loneliness. I always think of going home but staying in stressful job mainly because I don't want to be jobless. I can only post my views here anonymously because I don't want to be seen as loser. Request members if they can provide their suggestions.

PS : As far as my profile is concerned it's B tech + MBA from tier 1 college and 3 years of tech experience followed by 7 yrs into Product Management and living alone in Bangalore.

Deteriorating mental health

So I might get some hate for this. I know this is weakness and the feedback I've gotten is toughen up. But I've never known how.
 Is there anyone else whose body and mind had accepted that they're not going to amount to anything but fought their way through it? Can you tell me your story? Or give me any book suggestions?

I shut down under pressure

My advice is simple. Spite. Hate the situation so much that you come out of that, or conquer it with pure spite. The Hatred of ever being found in such a situation will propel you towards success.

I got married a year ago. My husband and I live in a rented accommodation. His side of the family is outside the town. 
My husband's work timings are absolutely random and there is no routine which i can have. I am unable to sleep before he comes home safely - because you know how traveling these days are especially on roads. 
I have the responsibility of my parents and pet dog also. And am always running between both houses. 
Honestly, i don't know the definition of "home" anymore. 

I have not been able to work because of all this chaos- i feel exhausted and fatigued. I think i am reaching a point on burnout. 

To keep a full time domestic help i need money which i need to earn if i can work..my husband has also started belittling me for not contributing financially. 

I don't know where to start from! Pl help

Unable to adjust Work and Life

Training Manager

Alright so this post is coming from a place of guilt so do not take it as bragging.

I have been employed for more than 16 years now and routinely clocked 60+ hour work weeks till before COVID. Once WFH started, I found it difficult to adjust working from home (especially with two toddlers) and found myself spending most of the time taking care of the kids (which I thoroughly enjoyed). Wife is a doctor and has erratic hours so I thought kids need the reassurance of at least one parent being around most of the time. Around 2021, I realised that my fitness has significantly gone down so I enrolled in a sports club and began playing squash regularly and religiously in the mornings. 30 minute sessions became 45 minutes which became 1 hour to now close to 2 hours (coupled with some running and swimming). By the time I login to work (I have UK hours: 11 am to 8 pm), I feel quite tired and at times take post lunch naps (during office time). My health has significantly improved but I have found that I am simply unable to stay productive at work for more than 4 hours ( around 4 pm to 8 pm). 

I am pretty good at what I do and one of the few technical people in a team full of Excel worshippers so one can argue that I get things done relatively faster than average colleagues. However, I have a serious fear that this level of slacking may get me in trouble and could even render me unemployable as I get older. Is this just a phase or a manifestation of a midlife crisis? Have others experienced something like this in their late 30s early 40s?

Unable to work for more than 4 hours in a day

Quantitative Research

My mother called me yesterday and tells me she got scammed for about 10 lakhs and needs money by Monday. She has 4 lakhs and I will have to cover the rest. Turns out she let a friend take a loan in her name and this friend gave fake jewellery as collateral. The friend took loans under her husband’s name and my mom’s name, she divorced the dude and escaped. The bank called my mom and has asked her to pay, now they’re filing a case against my mom for fraud.

I’ve spent my weekend talking to advocates and friends, and looks like the only way to get out of it unscathed is to cut a deal with the bank saying we’ll pay the money back and they don’t press charges in return. Contesting the bank is going to take time, money and the risk of my mom losing her job.

As an older daughter who grew up in a broken family, I’ve spent my childhood and adulthood protecting my mother and sibling. I finally landed a well paying job 2 years ago and now the responsibility extended to providing for my younger sister and my mother financially which I’m more than happy to do. I’ve worked hard the past few months to save what I have right now beyond what I give my family, use to sustain myself and finally felt happy about the position I’m in.

Now I’m heartbroken. I’m going to be emptying almost 70% of what I have so far for this for paying the bank and the lawyer. Especially for something that’s not even my mistake and something that could have been easily avoided. I’m not in a place to direct my anger at her, I know it’s a hard time for her as well. 


6 to 7 lakhs might sound like a small amount to some but I don’t have the privilege to throw money like that. I don’t have fuck you money. I don’t take money from friends. I’m 25 and literally just started my life 2 years ago after working for peanuts. 

What’s even the point of working hard, leading an honest life if this is how it works? It’s just truly unfair and I don’t know how to deal with it.

I wish life was a little easier and I just need to vent

Me too venting in this space.. 
 //Start if rant 
  
 My father too was frauded by a builder whom we had entrusted building flats on our plot of land. Fcker took booking amount from multiple people and left construction, claimants now coming after us saying its our responsibility to refund even though my father didnot recive any amount. 
 I had to take 18 lakhs loan for my father to complete construction and am all the time calling advocates in assesing risk from claimants who come barging at our home and building site with threats of filling FIR. 
 Every month my one third salary goes in Loan amount, had got a ideal wlb good paying job 2 years back after battling unemployment and low pay for many years. 
 Had planned to take wife and kids on vactaions for making up for lost time but now struggling to fulfill basic needs for family, forgot about vacations. 
 Have taken risk and moonlighting but it becomes hell on days when there is clash between jobs and sometimes lash out on my kids and wife and parents and then get hit by double guilt of not being strong enough.  
 Dont have any backing to face cheat builder who has backing of police and politicians, claimants coming after us as they have recognized us as soft target. 
 Preparing for 10 lakhs more expenses in multi year litigation trying to probe my fathers innocence. 
 Fcking jealous relatives enjoying all this from distance. 
 Fck this world. 
  
 //End of rant

Software Engineer

Growth Manager

For the last 2 months I have been trying to go to the gym and take care of my health but every week something or the other comes up and I'm working more than 14+ hrs sometimes. 12 hrs is average.


Every time something is going on in my mind around my work or performance or layoffs and a lot of things.  

I'm frustrated. Can somebody tell me what should be the best way to handle this?

Because of this I have high anxiety and also not getting proper time for personal life. 

I also feel a lot demotivated sometimes , thinking that why I'm working till 2am and for what?

Frustrated and Stressed: Mind Fog

Data engineer

I have landed into PIP and I know everyone will be like, look for another job which I anyways will
My boyfriend and I are planning to get married and he has already done a one day resign due to the job security issue in his firm

We both are actively looking for a job but no luck

I would be more than happy if anyone can help us out with this

Too much stress

howdy!!


Folks I need your inputs please. I am a single parent to two kids and have a full time job which is basically the only financial source and now WFH is ending and my problem is:

1. With the role n responsibilities i am fully booked for office work and not able to take care of the kids or house like i want to

2. Even if i hire someone like nanny i still thinking of their safety and activities they r doing bcoz i want to engage them is teaching or making them learn spend time with them as they grow be there for them ( bcoz i know how lonely it is to have working parents) so i don’t want them left with nanny bcoz i believe money can be made again but their childhood will not return 

3. Even if i get a WFH role, my time, energy and thinking capabilities will be taken up by the job only again leaving me less energetic, time to care for my kids

4 Everyone is against me leaving the job bcoz that’s the only financial source I have but i want to shift my stream maybe join as a school admin or start a food business that i can handle without much of mental stress but the pay will be way less

So I am looking for something which gives me the time and mental peace to spend and raise my kids with a decent money to meet the needs. 

What can i do???  please tell me any other way out or a guaranteed income source along with being with my kids

Your thoughts plz

Been in corporate for 18+ years. It's been a good run by God's grace. 

Situation currently is I have been WFH for last 3 years and office is requesting return to head office in a metro for at least 2d a week for senior folks. 

Unfortunately as you can understand, I am 40 and got an ailing parent with me being primary caregiver. Moving is not practical. 

Anyone else in same boat? What did you do?

Difficult Life Situation

Welcome to Business Roles's Private Community

I'm typing this out as a way of collecting my thoughts and feeling a bit normal to take myself through the day. Context: I have been working with a small b2b IT firm for the last 1.5 years, and resigned yesterday. This was my first job straight out of MBA and it has sucked the soul out of me to say the least. The notice period is 3 months and I am really unsure how will I survive it considering that I'm already completely drained. 

I do not want to list out the reasons of how this place has been toxic for me because I also carry a lot of self doubt if it was really the toxicity of the place or my own incapability to handle the work. I do not have any offer in hand, and haven't started a job search either. Just wanted to put this out there to see if people here in the community have been in a similar situation in their professional lives and how did they figure out the uncertainty, was it a good decision for them in retrospect and if they have any tips for me to deal with this better, with less anxiety.

Panic after resigning from a toxic workplace

First of all congratulations! You're out of that hell hole how and you can now recover and realign.  
  
 Second - You'll be okay. Anxiety tricks you into thinking the worst possible thing will happen to you. It convinces you that it's the only possible outcome.  
  
 I'd say the first couple of days - just be. Do what you want. Decide that in the first week you'll consciously do nothing job related - the one you left and the one you should find. You'll need this time to feel like yourself again. Do things that bring you calm and joy. Nothing to big, could be as simple as a walk or making your favourite kind of sandwich.  
  
 After a week - do the following things : 
 1. List out every single thing you did at this job  
 2. Use this info to update the CV - it'll take multiple iterations. Send it to people for feedback, ask them to be candid, use chatgpt whenever relevant  
 3. Make a list of companies you want to work with  
 4. Visit their portal and other job portals 
 5. Find relevant jobs  
 6. Find people in your circle who can refer you. If you do not know any reach out to people on LinkedIn. Send request to multiple people to have a big top of the funnel  
 7. Simultaneously write down questions that you might be asked in an interview 
 8. Meet people you like  
 9. Do some kind of work out 
 10. Apply to jobs with referal 
 11. Repeat  
  
 Remember - you'll be okay.

Growth And Strategy

Project Manager

How did your personal life affect your professional life ? Share your positive/ negative experiences.

A lot. 
 Sister suffers severe psychological ssues. 
 Has been known since 4 years. Can't leave her alone. Trying to get her up on her feet has been a challenge since such people are not that socially acceptable. 
 We've had to juggle cities just so that someone is there to tend to her.  
 It drains the life out of your life. 
 Such things definitely affect professional life as you can't give 100% to your work when your mentally stuck at your home.

Everyone knows about the relatively young median age we have India. So consequently, we are going to be having a burst of newly weds and their subsequent kids. This would also be a generation where we see both parents working instead of one parent staying home(rent ain't cheap).

So, few questions to new parents who are both working jobs: 
What were major problems/stressors you faced in early years of parenting ? (Specifically between 0-2 years of age where babies require alot of care) 

What parts of early years of parenting strained your work life the most?

What parts of the early years of parenting gave you guys the most joy?

Would love to know more.

New Indian parents, What are your problems?

Machine Learning Engineer

Adulthood 🫡

Account Executive

Recently i had changed my job, previously WFH now new job WFO. I constantly feel that i may loose my job and i had to take some medicine for this as well. Doctor told me i was having pessimistic thinking and was depressed. I am the sole earning memeber of my home, 23 father dead, mother remains ill. Sister small in college.

I am in constant fear and this thing is eating me alive.

I am in constant fear.

I am currently expecting, and while I am overjoyed about this new chapter in my life, I've also been facing some unique challenges in balancing my personal and professional responsibilities. 

I believe that some of you have been through similar experiences, and your insights would mean the world to me.

I had a few questions on:

1. When and how did you choose to disclose your pregnancy to your colleagues and superiors? 

2. How did you handle any potential changes in workload or responsibilities?

3. How do you stay energized and focused during the workday, especially in the later stages of pregnancy?

I understand that everyone's experiences are unique, but I believe your advice and insights can provide valuable guidance during this exciting but sometimes challenging time. Please feel free to share some stories that you're comfortable with.

I’m a working mother. Also a nursing mom living without husband. My stress level has reached new heights due to work and client pressure.

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