Marriage with Hyper Career focused Girl

Hi everyone, just wanted to ask something idk if you get it or not but things are hard on me lately ...i am an it professional with good 2.5 yoe but I feel like i belong in management side of world not here and for that i want to pursue MBA and that's my interest i want to make career switch but lately at my home my marriage discussion has began...i am going to be 26 in july and everyone think i am already little late (yes, that's the reality According to them) i told them about my aspirations they said do it after the wedding...and i am hell confused what should i do because I don't want to be in it (less salary and hectic work in which i have no interest) ...and idk what kinda person i am gonna meet in wedding setup ...even i will be able to pursue it or not ....tell me how you deal with it...any suggestions will be helpful.

My fiancé’s pay is 3x mine. And I feel guilty for not being able to scale up to a respectable pay or career advancement. This is my capacity - I am slow paced and a late bloomer in everything in my life. I feel like I don’t deserve a fiancé with 3x pay as mine and could find someone better than me as I was questioned by my fiancé about my career trajectory. I keep wondering in what way I can contribute my share once we settle. How will I do 50/50 because it doesn’t seem possible to do that. I will have to cut back on all my wants before things turn sour between us due to this financial imbalance. I don’t want money to get in the way of our relationship. I don’t know if anyone feels this guilty for not being able to contribute financially towards their married life. Or am I overthinking all this in my mind. It takes a hit at my self esteem when I see my friends/family around being able to achieve this financial equilibrium with their spouses. It makes me feel inadequate and not as empowered.

All of us at some point of time go through this phase, fortunately/unfortunately I am going through it too! Just wanted to know from experienced people, how do you find the right person on the basis of just a few questions? Or what questions you should preferably ask when you are choosing for a better half?

It's literally the same thing.

What are the pros and cons? To get married arranged.

I recently got married. It was an arranged marriage. We both work in corporate. Our lives have been different, I enjoy techno music, having good conversations, meeting new people, wearing good clothes, according to occasion. But she is my opposite, she is very conservative and old school. She has no sofistication or elegance, whereas i am sofisticated. Anyone meeting us for the first time can tell we are polar opposites. We have nothing in common to do or talk about. What do I do to bring about a positive change in her? How do we become a power couple?

In relationship with her for almost 4 years. Although relationship is kind of toxic but there're lot of emotional memories. She's bit of abusive when in anger and on the other hand I also made lot of mistake by giving hope & all. It becomes kind of hard for me to handle her anger. Now I trying to fix things up for our future. I tried connecting with lot of my friends & psychologist, but didn't get balanced solution. By balanced solution, I mean both of us should not suffer unfairly and live life peacefully. Both of us come from lower middle class family and both approaching 30. she's not working. 1. I have few responsibility for my family as well. So, one of my friend suggested "to do breakup and not continue because of these family responsibility. If I go with her, then in the end I have to sacrifice one thing in my life (sacrifice means not good future), either my family, her or my career. and not being true to my family responsibilities in future will give me more guilt than breaking up with her. and they told It'll become hard for me with family guilt. In chess, sometime you have to sacrifice queen to win. Also, they asked me to read geeta that duty comes first than anything else. and family didn't make any wrong and deserve the best in future." 2. My judgement around this is kind of messedup right now. Although i understand the logic part of it and completely agree with this. but Emotional part of this is kind of making me feel guilt. that i did very wrong to someone. and Even i understand that it'll be hard/impossible for me carry all these burden in future, still I think lets go with her just that I dont want her to suffer things. 3. Above 2 solution feels very biased to me. In both solution, one of us have to suffer badly. Posting here to get your solution. I know both type of people exist here. Someone will feel more for her and other will prefer family. for more context - https://grapevine.in/post/98de98e6-d9fb-48ea-90ce-b05c82214362

This question is for folks who have married early or have friends who have gotten married in their early 20s. What are your thoughts on this front?

They have no life They have nowhere to go They have no one to be with They have no passions outside work either And they make your life hell as they become the baseline for comparison for all sorts of management from appraisal to work distribution. Feel free to disagree with me, but I’m genuinely pissed today. How do you deal with them? I have a decent life outside work but lose most of it while trying to catchup to such people so that I don’t get fired. Sorry for the title.