@dopamine listen man, everyone fucks up, not sure how much exp you have that they are expecting you to pull out magic out of your ass. But the words they used to describe are not constructive at all.
They might be toxic boomers to say stuff like “embarrassment”(unless you fucked up in production and costed the team, in which case they are hustling angry don’t take it to heart).
In a good company culture, colleagues would replace the harsh language to a more supportive language so as to encourage the person do better. As positive reinforcement works better, putting down someone will not make it better unless they are in a situation where it is live or die(in jungle or something).
I also believe in not being too sensitive about stuff like this but seasoned corporate people would know about how to get stuff done and so they would rather be supportive in words to get the work done and raise your confidence so that same mistakes are not made again and you learn the same culture and pass it down.
On other hand if you are just critical and harsh then that would definitely expose the truth but there is no solution or thought of team effort anywhere.
It’s like teacher saying “You are stupid to not understand this” instead of saying “ What exactly you didn’t understand” the latter would entice them to work together and bridge any gaps.
Try this:
- Admit your mistakes instead of putting it on someone’s shoulder.
- Ask manager or the Lead PE about how to improve, if they are hesitant or the general attitude is to ignore, push a bit further but if same result then it is not good place for you to learn.