Are most Software Engineers boring outside work?

I am in my late 20s and I feel attacked. Thank you for striking the right chord

I've come to realize that, like many software engineers, I've found myself navigating the monotony of an 8-hour job, often feeling isolated from my office peers. It can be challenging when people hesitate to open up, but the reasons for this became clear.

There are two key aspects at play: a minimal social life and prioritizing work. These factors are interconnected. In late 20s, the circle of friends tends to shrink, and individuals are busy setting up their own lives, leading to growing distances. With limited time for each other, it's easy to become engrossed in work life. I didn't anticipate that making friends would become a challenge, and I acknowledge this as a personal objective (read OKR) for myself. Despite being an extrovert, reinitiating the trust and friendship path can be difficult.

To address this, I've proactively connected with people, stepped out of my comfort zone, and initiated new activities. It's a challenging process, and sometimes it feels like I'm overdoing it, but the effort is rewarding. Engaging in activities beyond my job role, such as joining a gym or participating in public discussions, has been beneficial. I've also reduced my time on social media, realizing that platforms like Instagram reels consume a significant portion of my time.

I'd like to urge understanding for people in their late thirties. Having once criticized the habits of those in their late twenties when I was in my early twenties, I now comprehend the challenges of their situation. Unexpectedly, I find joy in shopping for groceries and organizing them neatly. It's all about priorities, and embracing change has made a significant positive impact in my life.

This is what years of JIRA does to you

what do you mean outside work, we are boring at work as well

Oh my god you read my mind. This is exactly what I’ve been wondering ever since I got into tech. I’ve been working for 2.5 years now and every person I meet fits this description.
I’ve had an extremely eventful college experience and now it feels like I’m in a place that’s dead opposite.

For a lot of those who are in Tech, particularly in India, the core priority is to uprise their families from generational poverty or from bad financial planning of parents or to achieve a certain mobility in the financial status. Most of these boys from small towns or suburban towns, really don't want a lot. In fact, they have grown up to be men who are reliving the life of their parents selflessly without attaching an identity to their personality.

For most of them, the simple pleasure of having to see their child or wife or parents happy would mean more than them trying to overlook their belly and feel sad.

Let alone, if these people were able to afford an affluent life in their early 20s they would have most likely tried to go abroad.

But they were struggling and toiled hard to reach this spot in life.

But there are people who are also people who are living absolutely rad life.

I try to not generalise, but I know from my friend circle from across many states, the average suburban boy now in a more senior role is someone who doesn't have a lot of things going on in life. They are mostly torn in between two three lives, the very high pressure job in a city, balancing children and wife in the same city and then travelling every 2nd or 3rd month to thier small town.

Don’t you think you have a generalised and negative take towards people based purely on profession? I am SWE for 8 years and around the 3 year mark I felt the same. I tried socialising and partying and that made me realise that it’s just not for me.
I read novels, play video games, make plastic models and read about obscure stuff. I derive satisfaction and happiness from it. My hobbies are definitely not mainstream or happening. People have called me boring. But I have never complained about being bored, so you tell me.

I partially agree but I personally make technology jokes only with my colleagues. You probably met all the software engineers through work. I am also assuming you aren’t close friends with all of them and you know what they tell you. I do the same things you mentioned. But other than that, i play games, go out with friends. They probably won’t tell that unless you ask them, some don’t even want to share their personal life to colleagues, so they’ll tell you things just to make you quiet.

You are wrong. Software Engineers are absolutely fcki*ng awesome.

Genuine question: If SWEs are boring, who do you find interesting? .

I guess you’ve never met swe like me haha..