ZoomyKoala

Arrange marriage - how to bring a positive change in your partner?

I recently got married. It was an arranged marriage. We both work in corporate. Our lives have been different, I enjoy techno music, having good conversations, meeting new people, wearing good clothes, according to occasion. But she is my opposite, she is very conservative and old school. She has no sofistication or elegance, whereas i am sofisticated. Anyone meeting us for the first time can tell we are polar opposites.

We have nothing in common to do or talk about.

What do I do to bring about a positive change in her? How do we become a power couple?

4mo ago

1.7Kviews

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ZestyBurrito

Stealth4mo

If you both were exact replicas of each other, then life would become very boring :)

Anyways, it's good that you can see differences between you both. Some points I would like to suggest:

Never talk her down, neither in public nor in private. This will ruin your relationship before it starts.
Become each others best friend.
Talk to her, communicate what your thoughts are, listen and understand her too. You both have had different upbringings, so how you both view life is very different. It will take time to find your footing where you can have balance between you both.
It is likely that she never tried anything out of her comfort zone, you can encourage her to try some things. Remember to be patient with her. You should also try to add positive things from her life in your own.
You have nothing in common, that just means you will have a lot to talk about.
Involve in each other's hobbies and interests. You can also find something which you both have never done, and do it together.

ZestyBurrito

Stealth4mo

Otherwise this will ruin*

PrancingPotato

Stealth4mo

You don’t change your partner. You accept her way she is. Speak with her on things that bothers you the most.

You’ll have to understand few things

You both have different upbringing so different choices and preferences
You both have different life experiences so different behaviour
You both are different individuals so different likes and dislikes

If you wanted a person who is very much like you then you married wrong person. Trying to change will only make your relationship worse. Better to accept the gaps and speak with her. I am sure she also feels same level of discomfort with you.

BubblyPretzel

Stealth4mo

Double down on the reason what made you decide to marry each other.
And take vacation and hobby session together to gel up in initial time.
Trust me, 1st year very crucial. This will setuprelationship roots.
Be patient with each other be you are little strangers.