TornTimer
TornTimer
Startup

Disrespectful Lead

I work in a startup and one of my senior engineer always mocks me for not being efficient at work. He just has his own presumptions about me and because I made some silly mistakes at the start of my journey in this company, he always taunts me for that. Now he has started doing that in front of other people as well to look cool. Initially it did not affect me as whenever I would point that out he would say that you genz guys can’t even take this much, we used to rag your senior even more than this. But now this thing has started affecting me because everyone else also thinks the same way now. Also a lot of times I snap at him for being this disrespectful, but I feel very bad after that. Also it gives an impression of me being very rude to other people in the office because in other teams no senior talks to their junior this way. Every time I try my level best to make my PR’s the best so I could at least not end up being targeted by him again, but he still manages to find some fault with it. I don’t understand what to do. My manager is always on his side, I’ve tried talking to him also but that’s of no use. Please suggest me some ways so I can get out of this😞😞 This has greatly affected my confidence and now I don’t even find the will to work hard anymore because whatever I do, I’ll face the same thing. I feel like this has also hampered my growth a lot.

2mo ago7.7K views
RegalFame0
RegalFame0
Slice2mo

Sometimes the easiest answer is the right answer.

Talk to him and make sure he understands. You mentioned you have talked to him before, this time try a different approach. And never ever be rude and respond when you are angry (since you mentioned you snap at him). If you snap at people in a work environment, no one, and mark my words here, no one will take your side ever, no matter how much he is at fault.

Instead, do this,

  1. Setup a 1:1 with him; and say you need to talk.
  2. In the meeting, talk to him in a very detailed way how much him teasing you affects your day to day. He will say you guys can’t take it, just say yes your are right, and it affects me.

Before going to meeting, do prepare a bit. List down a few instances so that the conversation is a bit more directional. In the conversation, he sure will defend him self, but don’t challenge that. Don’t go too deep in one instance, just show him a pattern.

If you like your startup, don’t quit, learn to manage such things. These will be very crucial in your career.

WhisperedVascular
WhisperedVascular
Amazon2mo

Very good response.. actually a bit formal, but that's the best way to deal with bullies at work.

CluelessMover
CluelessMover
Wipro2mo

Very good response

corporateRedemption
corporateRedemption
Startup2mo

Faced a similar thing in the past. No one is going to help you in this situation but yourself. Have a strict boundary with your colleagues. Talk to him privately about the situation and call him out every time he does this by being assertive. if he still doesn't change then you need to file a complaint to HR or other superior.

LudwigVanBeethoven
LudwigVanBeethoven
Stealth2mo

Find a different job and switch, if you can.

Often the only way to improve a toxic work situation is to quit it.

CluelessMover
CluelessMover
Wipro2mo

Quitting is not a solution. In every organization there will be more like this, not everytime one can quit. Handling the situation bravely, positively and with some spontaneity will be the way out. It will build person's confidence forever.

AwardAnshuman
AwardAnshuman
Genpact2mo

Nothing's more important than your mental health buddy. Start preparing to switch if this is taking too much toll on your health

Nakshatra01
Nakshatra01
TCS2mo

He is your senior..Respect him for God's sake..

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