Do you want to end it all?

All I can say is this : Start lifting religiously. (I’m not asking you to just hit the gym, but embody the entire lifestyle that goes along with it. Some of which: Hitting your protein goals, maximising whole foods, prioritising sleep etc).

going through the same situation. I make a to do list and keep my mind busy doing and not doing them. this has helped me to stay focused on the day, bas. I know if I don't do it my mind will go into gloom.
Definitely healthy food, sleep and workout helps in maintaining my mood better. I am not able to perfectly follow it, but perfection was never the goal.

I felt the same way,
Discipline os the key
Only you can help yourself
Best of luck 👍

Went through same thing in 2019. I ghosted everyone around me. Now I don't have any friends. Tbh with you it may seem tempting but once you ghost others it doesn't feel good either. You still feel the same.My advice would be to address the root cause, talk to a therapist.