Every day we are struggling to get ourselves in a better state than the previous day but still we are totally anxious about how the health of us or our family members will be.
I am earning a lot when compared to what other people at age of 24 are doing, graduated from IIT and working on my terms at well established companies, but still there is so much anxiety which I have inside me.
My father passed away when I was 17 and during the same time my maternal grandmother passed away, both from cancer while putting big anxiety in my mind that is my life all safe, healthy and sound. Being the eldest child of the family I have worked and have reached a good position in the last few years to take care of my family financially, and we are getting financially so much better than we were before, most of our dreams are getting true.
But I am not happy, not at all. I have reached a state where I am earning a lot given what is needed but I still can't be happy about anything I have. I cry, I get super anxious and idk why. Any news of pain or small change in the health of my family triggers me, and similarly with mine.
I constantly live under fear that something bad will happen whenever we all get happy, when we are laughing I get scared on how long this laugh really is. It's scary to the point I am constantly searching on internet symptoms and things of all the worst diseases possible. Nazar, black magic all seems real to me and that relatives are really behind us if we get lil better than them.
I have constantly tried to have a very positive outlook towards life, enjoy whatever days I have and live my life to the fullest but it's not easy, your family is always what you will work for and what to see them the happiest and more importantly healthy.
I will stop consuming insta and focus on having moments with them instead of scrolling through all the people suffering in life.
I workout regularly and have a relatively fitter body.
Lets see what life holds for me.
Try this...One day at a time.. it might help..it helped me 😊
Yeah focusing on each day will help me heal better ✨
I feel your buddy, I am older than you so take my advice as an elder brother. You have held up a lot of emotions inside you and never vented them out, maybe due to suddenly acting as a mature adult after deaths in the past. You need to constantly remind yourself that you have done great for yourself and you near and dear ones and you deserve every bit of success and happiness that you enjoy currently. Also find some one trust worthy and pour your emotions out and you will feel lighter. Remember your father is proud of you wherever he is.
Thanks mate, your comment made me emotional and proud. Thank you and cheers ✨
Big post rant !!!
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