I mean, it's not something that's talked about often. But it's so awkward. What do you say? "I'm sorry, let me know if you need anything"? But you live 400 km away, how will they even ask you for anything? You can't even comprehend what they must be going through. If they're elder siblings, they have so much to do, so many rituals.
It's seems easy from far until you face the situation in person. I met a school friend today after a long time (many years). He was talking about how he couldn't save his father during Covid. He needed oxygen and was tossed around hospitals. It took so much time to arrange ambulances. He blames himself for not doing enough that day.
Dude, I couldn't speak. We were in the same city when this happened. He didn't ask or reach out. Even if he had, I don't know if I could have done something.
It's such a hopeless feeling.
Speak less, and be there for them.
There’s absolutely no amount of condolences you can say or give to fill in the loss.
Just speak less, and be available.
One of my friend's dad passed away and I regret not calling him to this day. You can call your friend after some days and just have a casual conversation about how they are doing and how's everyone in the family. In future when there are rituals after death, you can go over there if invited or in general, you can also visit after some days.
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