I have recently stopped smoking and I never liked drinking anyways. Do you think there’s a way to hang out and network with people without doing these things?
Don't be judgemental, don't make faces, don't give any negative vibes with respect to drinking/smoking but at the same time be very comfortable in your skin and with your position that you don't drink. Don't be defensive when people offer you a drink, just deny keeping above things in mind.
I have some buddies when we hang out, they drink and I don't, still we have the best of times.
Do you think you lose out on opportunities /optics when you refrain to indulge?
Ah! Can't really control people's decisions can we? If their intelligence is limited to picking the one who indulges, I'll consider myself lucky to be not picked.
But at the same time maybe develop things with your personality (adventure, humour, knowledge). Pretty sure that's a hit person with a drink or not.
I dont drink or smoke hence I don't go to office party or any party or event which involves drinking or smoking so I don't care.
so a loner?
Going to such parties, clubs or bar/pubs is not the only way of socializing in this world. I have a good group of friends who have different hobbies.
Yes, yes. I will give my 2 cents here:
Get into hobby-based socializing. Now here, the entire game is how carefully you choose your hobbies because some hobbies do not naturally align with smoking and drinking on a regular basis: running, cycling, swimming, dancing, hiking, boardgames (because you are in confined spaces so smoking is ruled out, and most boardgames cafes do not allow liquor consumption).
Take a long, hard look at your social circle and do a ruthless culling of what/who does not align with the next chapter of your life. If you are looking for a healthier version of yourself, it will require a complete detoxification of life.
If there is someone who smokes and drinks and hanging out with them is sort of obligatory, then, instead of smoking and drinking with them, figure out what else is that they enjoy and do that together instead. There was one friend of mine who needed a couple of glasses of wine daily. It was a decade old friendship, so letting go of her was not an option. So I offered that we run errands together. Soon, instead of sitting and drinking together, we were doing groceries together, going to get our cars serviced together, and all the random, boring stuff. She found other people to drink with but our friendship stayed. In fact, strengthened.
If someone is not bringing a lot of value to your life let them go. Make room for people who are more like the version of you that you aspire to be.
So, how you visualise the next chapter in your life will hold the key to how to go about this.
I struggle with this as well. Recently started working and drinking / smoking seems to be the prerequisite to making friends amongst my fellow colleagues. I'm quite firm on never indulging in any intoxication, but at the same time it feels like I'm losing out on potential friendships
Can feel you, have been through the same, almost lost out on many events during the college as most of my close friends were usually indulged in one form of intoxication or the other, but then I thought standing by my choices and values was more important than trying to fit in, although being left out is also not a great feeling either, I can understand
I think drinking is tougher, smoking is still accepted if you just say you don’t want to as a lifestyle choice
With drinking - I think it helps if you’re extroverted and can be fun to hang out with without being buzzed
If you don’t drink and are low energy, it’s tough to be looked forward to in “happy” moments
Not saying this is good
yep.
Drinking at parties helps a lot with making new friends and getting laid.
Can speak with experience.
Censor kar raha hu ki kahi Teri mummy ko bura na Lage ki ladke ke upar itne paise kharch kiye par baad me internet pe gali kha Raha hai. Haan Bhai milta hai Saturday ko kaam tere G me dard horaha hai toh bata
