img: this is what women have to go through every step of the way trying to succeed in tech.
Today a male coworker said that IITs have a poor gender ratio because of skill issues. His casual comment struck a nerve and made me think about my own journey.
Growing up, I was always fascinated by science and technology. My father was a Mechanical Engineer at Tata Steel and he would often bring home gadgets and explain their workings to me. I was captivated and my dream of studying at an IIT started in class 9th.
However, as I progressed through school in class 11th, I began to notice something troubling: there were very few girls in my class(PCM). This difference only grew as I entered coaching classes to prepare for the IIT entrance exam.
It was intensely competitive, and while I loved learning, I couldn't ignore the subtle messages suggesting that girls weren't as capable in these fields. Despite consistently being in the top batch at FIITJEE, there was always a sense of discomfort in these classes.
Don't get me wrong, my parents were incredibly supportive, but society was just the worst to women. Relatives would often say that I should consider "Humanities or Commerce", ones that would better suit my "future responsibilities" as a wife and mother.
These comments were disheartening. I was determined to prove that my passion and capabilities were not defined by my gender.
The journey to IIT was one of the hardest journeys I had undertaken. There were countless sleepless nights, endless DPS, and moments of self-doubt. But I persevered, and the day I got my AIR, was a special moment for me.
Going to an IIT for the first time was surreal, but it was also a stark reminder of the gender imbalance in STEM.
Being one of the few women in my program came with its own set of challenges. There were times when I felt isolated, questioned if I truly belonged, or if others saw me as an equal. to prove myself. However, these experiences also made me resilient. I sought out other female students, and together we formed a support network.
Despite the challenges, my time at IIT was eye opening. I graduated with a high CGPA and got a high paying job.
Hearing my coworker’s remark today reminded me of the importance of addressing and challenging these stereotypes. It's not a "skill issue" that causes the poor gender ratio at IITs.
It's a society problem and that's why women move abroad. Girls are just as competent(if not more) but they also need support, encouragement, and equal opportunities to succeed from the society.
My journey wasn't easy, but it was worth it.
I respect your journey and I agree that you have put in effort. But that being said, it is also a fact that guys have to put in more effort to get a same job than a girl. I still remember in my college, cutoff for uber coding round was 450 for guys and 300 for girls for interviews. In other companies as well girls are more preferred. When we see things like this around us it is no surprise that this frustration comes out of guys in form of these words. I am not supporting these derogatory comments but you should also try to understand what might have caused them to think like this. Overall we need reforms through which more girls get chance for these jobs.
May be try drawing trajectories from lets say birth ? Why just slicing a piece of both groups trajectories and comparing it, in your case its getting into a xyz company. May be delta is too big for the other group and sometimes that little nudge from companies or govt institutions is needed ? Companies recognise this unfortunate fact, but its too tough for your complex code comprehending brain ?
Unfortunately in the name of equality of opportunity, we promote equality of outcome. Equality of opportunity is something we should strive towards. Women should get equal opportunities compared to men and that's it. If my female classmate goes to the same school, same college, attends the same lectures, sits the same exams, then it is only fair that while hiring , they are hired irrespective of their genders. Unfortunately, we say that their is inequality because 70%+ of the workforce in tech are men hence women need "reservations" but we miss the fact that the idea is to create equality of opportunity and not equality of outcome.
My opinion is this, you are hired on the basis of your skills, irrespective of your gender. If you think you should get reservations because of less opportunities, you should be reserved irrespective of your gender.
I know women who are brilliant and intelligent and his message should be reported. But there is also a other side of the coin where his message is applicable. I know many women as tech "influencer" in linkedin who have a bare minimum knowledge about tech and yet will preach the knowledge through topmate, sponsored posts, and uploading pics wearing onepiece dress while working (like wtf) and literally all the followers are just bunch of simps. Same goes in twitter too. For beautiful women it's easy to get followers and these recommendations algorithm are made like that.
PS : bracing up incoming hates.
What is your exact issue here ? Them getting followers, sponsored posts or the handpicked women in tech that suits your narrative here about having less knowledge and still grabing the job ?
Simps are my problem. And looks like you are one of them after seeing your replies in the comments
That person is NOT wrong at all. You are someone who is seeing yourself as a woman first and then an individual. A lot of women in newer batches have much higher placement rates and higher packages specifically because of DEI. And it is causing a lot of anger and misogyny is the minds of these guys. I have seen first hand, how the behaviour of many guys around me has changed as placements came around towards women.
Just because you are a talented individual, doesn't mean you can deny the existence of DEI.
What our society encompasses today is the best of traditionalism(where men are supposed to be courteous toward women, chivalrous and sacrificial, protective of women) and feminism(where women have all the choice to do anything, pursue anyone and anything without much social repercussions)
This is also a kneejerk reaction by the fast changing culture of our times. So no, it's not just 'society', niether is it about competent women; this is just the manifestation of frustrations by men over how easy are getting it these days.
Also, women are leaving the nation because they can. Anyone who is educated or capable enough of leaving India is leaving. Women are even more liberal and less conserative towards things like nation, religion, etc(this is backed by sources), so no surprises there.
Also privilege in tier 1 cities isn't gender based. It's wealth based. A girl coming from a well off family getting to have exposure to computers, technology and coding at 8-9th grade is much much much more privileged than a poor guy coming from slums or villages, the guy will have a much harder journey and still be considered 'privileged' by the modern standards, somehow?! How does that make any sense. We as a society have been losing our collective minds.
Then make DEIs an economic concession and not a gender one. Because the privilege that women use to put down men is more correct in class and not gender.
Women and the society at large doesn't understand that these things will only hurt women in the long term as men will see women as incompetent in general, be apathetic towards them and greater gender imbalance.
You can see this in the US right now as the millennial men are the most liberal byfar but the genZ (despite being younger) are so much more reactionary conservative and just straight up misogynistic. It's like going backwards. Is this the outcome we wanted?
This post does not aim to target personal egos
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