wubbalubbadubdub
wubbalubbadubdub

Taking care of parents

Folks who live away from their parents, how do you take care of them? I recently shifted to Blr, parents live in NCR - In college I was a day scholar and also I don't have any siblings.

Taking care not in terms of monetary help, but rather physical and emotional help - like being present there when they need me.

6mo ago
FixedWafer
FixedWafer

If possible, keep visiting them when you can. Stay in touch with regular phone calls. ASK them about what's happening with them and people who they like to talk about. Order what they like once in a while. I generally try and have a few meals in a week with them on video call. Or just order some ice-cream or something they like to both addresses. Initially they were upset about "wasting" money as they are not used to ordering outside, but have started to enjoy it now. Crack jokes, share about your life - the good and some bad that does not bother them too much. Trying your best to keep that connection even if you cannot visit them frequently.

I see some peers staying with them but being very distant, I think the later hurts more.

BoredCorporateSlave
BoredCorporateSlave

Great advice @FixedWafer , my sibling and I both live away from my parents and I am their primary care taker in every aspect. I do some of these things but will def add some of your suggestions to ensure they don't feel as lonely. Thankfully, they have each other now, so that gives me some relief.

FixedWafer
FixedWafer

Good to know @BoredCorporateSlave
Yes, them having each other's back makes things so much simpler. Happy to hear you are trying to do your best.

CosmicLegend
CosmicLegend

If possible keep them with you in bangalore.. Or you find a job in Delhi.
Rest all suggestions on calls, keep visiting often, checking is to cover the guilt..
If you really can't try solving their problems to make them comfortable like cook, maid good tv, bed, mattress, sofa, elder proof restrooms. These are to avoid any mishaps may occur due to old age (trip fall/ back pain/ knee pain etc)

I lost one of my parent when I was away it still bothers me. what if I was near to them. I could have did something which would have added few more years..

wubbalubbadubdub
wubbalubbadubdub

Sorry to hear that man, hope you are doing ok now, Thanks for the suggestions also.

CosmicLegend
CosmicLegend

Definitely better than before(4-5 years). With my lil princess growing she keeps me busy 😅

inr
inr

Keep visiting them. I try to visit atleast once every 4-5 months for a few weeks. Call them daily, I usually use my post dinner walk to talk to them on a regular basis. It's natural to feel ki ek din me kya hi ho jayega. But for them it matters a lot. So do it even if you don't want to. On weekend I try to call them multiple times. Weather, cricket, health, news, family, friends. It can be anything, but talk.

Edweird_slowhen
Edweird_slowhen

I think parents have evolved into this new reality that Children and families don't stay together. Particularly with new age jobs and work pressure.

But visiting them and connecting regularly is a good way.

However encourage them to take up their own lives and build and be part of communities.

FlakySmolt2
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I have moved back to my native 2 years back as my company offered remote working.

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