Help me navigate this

Same thing happening with me , I'm 25F I don't know why people don't understand me, I'm doing good in my life Co-founder of tech company We are doing really great but my relatives always tont my parents that she must have done this or that this is safe for her. Very early stage of my losted my father That trauma broken me above the soul and lived three and half years of depression after that I had no friends and no one to talk . Ultimately I healed my self for me and my family. Now everything is going well with my life and standing proper. People neighbour and relatives started saying she should find perfect match n get married. Very chaotic for me to trust anyone blindly when it comes to Marrying someone who i don't even know. Family is insisting for caste marriage and other matrtistic version from groom like good pay scale etc .they always send me some profiles for marriages which I don't take interest. I don't find myself marrying near for sure . Sometimes it hurts my mental and emotional health bad. I feel so sorry for me . Have No one to talk about this as I have brother he is so loving caring but I don't like showing my weakness in front of him. This rule regulations society (I'm fine with some of the things) rest are just like acidic in nature . I want to be with someone who is real true caring understanding and can hold me for life .don't want adjustments. God bless you Be strong Take decision wisely I wish n pray you get well deserving patner for you soon . Loads of smiles, blessings and positivity for you. You are sunshine sis ☺️

Hey......sorry to know that you are under stress at the moment. That too an unnecessary kind of stress which actually could be avoided if only people around were more flexible....but let's keep that aside for a moment . I can definitely tell that you have made a living for yourself at this stage of life and may be it's something that is rare in your caste or so and hence the stigma amongst your caste people. But let me remind you that you worked super hard to be where you are and made a life form yourself. You did not do it for someone to come and take it back from you. I agree that it might be important for your parents for you to be married in the same caste but then just make it very clear to them that you aren't going to compromise on the person you will spend your entire life time with. That simply can't be possible. I know parents could be rigid in these matters and that it's very difficult to make them change their minds, even if they see merit in what you say they will be worried about societal pressures....but please be strong and don't give up. Tell them straight forwardly and upfront that you bother least about the caste and only about whether or not some fits your definition of partner or not. You would be happy to meet guys that your parents choose to introduce to you but no compulsion from them or Compromise from your end shall be made. It's upto them now whatever caste they want to choose From, just that your priorities are different. Do not give up, stay strong. You are not a burden for them....you own your own life now and they must be happy of that for you too. But the way they have seen life is that it's important from there perspective to get married and make children and blah blah. This may be in their generation made sense but not today. They ofcourse won't understand the gap between generations....but you do, and had this been something less critical...you would have given up for them...but it's matter of marriage......it can't be. The potential risks of Marrying someone who won't get your intellect and values would be the worst thing to do. We can only try convincing our parents with as much as politeness as possible, but don't give up on your standards of a partner....after all it's you who will have to deal with it. (Any guy you meet for marriage talks, do make sure to put all your points upfront without any hesitation......we can't risk loosing what we have ... you own your life💙)

Step back and think are your parents thinking with your wellness in mind? If yes, then think of them in your own team. Because you also want yourself to be happy by marrying someone who doesn't have problem with you working in corporate. So, firstly negative na socho. Saah lo andar baaar... Again... Andar baaar. And postpone these thoughts coming in mind. Have some water also. Have a good sleep. I understand it's bad time, but it's not soo bad that you should leave the world. Secondly, after few days. Tell them "you want my best. So can you please do a favor for me? I am ready to marry in this same caste." They would be happy hearing this. Then say " Now I want you to put efforts and find any guy in our whole caste who is open minded and would respect my wish to work". Chilly ice cream tenu pta saade parents kde kde emotionally sanhu bind kr lende aa and we can't get out of it. Now it's your time that you emotionally bind them by using the right combination of words. If they don't agree, tell them "you don't want to put efforts in finding the groom from our caste who would respect my wishes". They would be stuck by what just happened. Sb vdeeya hojega. Bs tu ina negative nhi sochna. Chlo bye take care

Actually this is tough situation to be in, but ultimately I would suggest you try to convince them by highlighting all your pain points clearly. Moreover, it doesn't make sense to sacrifice your life for marriage, you are an independent women and deserve someone equal or better person with whom you can spend your life with. So, don't hurry and ask your parents to at least meet guys from good backgrounds and it might be possible they may also like start liking those guys. Its just that you have to make your parents realize that people from different caste with good backgrounds are not that bad and it's not a crime to do intercaste marriage as long as their daughter is happy and satisfied. All the best!!.

Thanks for the generosity and kind words , both of you gentlemen @Flashhh @SoggyBasil4 😊 really appreciate your emotional understanding and deal. God bless you both as well 😌 @Flashhh if anybody is adult with well mindset, maturity, behavioral patterns, doing good and has a understanding for the marriage or relationship. Then their is no as such barrier to be married. If right person is in your life then it doesn't matter you are 25 or 30 . I want to be with someone who has these qualities, so I have as well. But never wanted to get involved with wrong person that's why I ask for the time because I'm looking for him . Thanks 😌 @SoggyBasil4 yes it was hard but with the God Grace and everything I'm able to stood up for me. Yes sure will do 😊Thanks

If you don’t feel like marrying then don’t marry out of pressure. It’s your life at stake and not your parents. If you are financially independent, and still living with them, try working out from a different city and leave your parents house. Share what you are feeling with your parents if they are open minded or understandable. Take time and explore if you are seeking a life partner. Don’t want to go into caste system but I believe you’ll find decent guys in every caste.

Maybe try finding someone around you with the similar mindset, or marry someone from other caste

Coming from a younger perspective, I’ve met a lot of men who would like to focus on their passion/be a househusband while their wife is the career focussed one, if caste is the only requirement for your parents, do you think you might consider marriage if you find such a guy of your caste?

Stand up for yourself... I know it's easier said than done. But short term pain for long term gain... You don't want to succumb and say yes for a few days of peace and spend a lifetime regretting it... Throw the 'divorce' word around with parents... That should quite them...

yaar baat samjho caste mein karogi papa mummy log sab janampatri wagerah milayenge to usse jo jodi banegi tumko long term maza degi :)

@ChillyIcecream Never ever compromise on your happiness and core values for your parents's judgement. They might be happy now but you'll regret whole life . Simply say that if you are gotten married to a wrong guy you'll divorce him soon. Idk why people are too much into caste and all. Maybe you achieved much in life hence everyone from your community wants you. Leave them for a while and do your own thing ie., career focus. You need to be soft yet steely firm that you'll never compromise on your core preferences. Apparently, giving advices, rishta jodna, passing casual shit is easy, dealing with the consequences is damn difficult . People cannot be thrusted over you for their happiness. Its a time to be a rebel now. If you bend today, you'll be bent forever. It starts like this. 1. Bete, shaadi karo 😭😭😭 2. Shaafi ho gya, some mc relative asks, beta pota/poti kab de rhi ho. 3. After that, spouse family says, bachcha ka khyaal dekhna chahiye , kaunsi aurat ho etc, trying to mansplain to you and your parents. 4. After all this, you ll feel so dissatisfied in life. All the earlier ppl who have given you muft ka advices will have gone now leaving you restless !!! 5. At 50 - 60 - Usual brouhaha for roti, kapda, makaan etc. At 70 - 90 age - Lower into grave thinking about the missed opportunities before you breathe for the last time 🥶

Do you earn your own money? Can you support yourself if needed? If the answer to these questions is yes, then it's time to find a new family. Or you live without boundaries and come back with a post on your misery. Your choice.

Modern** Learn to spell first.

Ugh another rant. It's your god damn life... Do whatever you want. Don't underestimate Caste, it comes handy in dier situations.