QuirkyLlama
QuirkyLlama

26 (M) depressed Af!

I earn enough. Here are my problems:

  1. Don’t have friends who I can talk to
  2. Dating life is weird and complicated (can’t find someone I’m truly happy with)
  3. Don’t enjoy living in blr
  4. Don’t have tight bond with siblings or parents

Suggest me some ways in which I can improve. Please only suggest things that worked for you.

16mo ago
PeppyBiscuit
PeppyBiscuit
Student16mo

Been there done that….3- Yrr see if you’re not liking the place .. just leave As soon as possible .. 1- Most FAANG people should do introspection why they’re suffering with loneliness.. there is problem in them.. why they can’t socialise imo because they never did.. socialising is a skill man..
2- socialising issues again
4- solution is regular communications

WobblyNoodle
WobblyNoodle
InMobi16mo

How is it related to "FAANG" 😅 ?
Depression/loneliness can happen to employees of any company.

ZestyBiscuit
ZestyBiscuit

Wahi toh. I am not in Fanng earning way less and I am depressed 😭

DerpySushi
DerpySushi

Bhai, I have gone through this in almost same age. I had strong bond with family. I used to call my parents and chat with sis daily.
I followed below approach to make sure I dont go deep in depression.

  1. Follow a hobby/passion. I followed daily workout in a gym. Made some friends there (casual for chitchat)
  2. Made sure that I explore Blr/ nearby cities every other weekend.
  3. Join CSR groups for any voluntary support , maybe a monthly activity based on their invites.
  4. Daily call with parents, telling them about your whereabouts. Also I used to travel to my hometown every 2 months for 7 days atleast.
  5. Find places where you can get people from your community state.
  6. Avoid binge watching series, its just time waste.
  7. Work friends are difficult in Blr, but if you are able to mingle then you will have them for long life.
  8. Dating in blr is waste, go a different route. Find someone from your work/ social network like traditional way. Dont go for dating apps.
PeppyKoala
PeppyKoala

What's CSR?

DerpySushi
DerpySushi

Corporate Social Responsibility, more like a social working group that helps under privilege or NGOs

GroovyWaffle
GroovyWaffle

You will find many suggestions that sounds good on paper. The reason you are struggling is because you don’t engage your brain enough. Half your loneliness

1/ Pick up a tough/brainy topic (eg: semiconductors, quantum physics, football tactics, strategy games) which engages your brain and gives you that feeling of accomplishment. Your job seems to not engage you intellectually. Most nerds have this issue. This will help you more than socializing.

2/ join blogs like EA, ACX, less wrong. It offers you new perspectives, and the meetups help you meet people who are deep thinkers excited by the complexity.

3/ leave bangalore. Difficult.

4/ for dating, right now look for friends. Friends who can have engaging conversations with you. Go for treks, trips, where you meet people outside of tech. Go live in zostels and ask when you visit a new city. Don’t focus on dating, let it happen organically.

5/ just plain. Take more risks. Do something stupid. Something that goes against your grain. The adventure and adrenaline rush makes you feel good.

SwirlyPretzel
SwirlyPretzel

I have a few suggestions that could work:

Find time for yourself and build a routine. It may seem pointless at first but it puts you on an autopilot that will distract you from other things.

Do a few things for yourself - go for a walk in the morning. Cubbon park and Lalbagh are good options. Try to live that moment.

Take up a physical activity and show up regularly - doesn’t matter if you are a beginner. The only thing that will matter in the first 6 months is showing up. If you can swim, sign up at a nearby pool. Water is very calming. If not, sign up to learn to swim. I learnt last year - woke up excited everyday about it. Made some friends with other people who swim.

Life is about what you make of the cards you’ve been dealt with. I was down and stressed for a long time. I decided to focus on improving my health one day at a time. I’m glad about it. The regret I have is not having done this sooner.

SqueakyPickle
SqueakyPickle

What worked for one person need not work for others. So don't look for solutions here. One person's depression is not the same as someone else's.

Find out the source of your depression first. To me it sounds like Point no 4 may be the root cause. You're probably homesick

SparklyNugget
SparklyNugget
MPL16mo

If you're not happy wherever you are. Move out and find a place where you can enjoy.

FloatingRaccoon
FloatingRaccoon
Oracle16mo

Same man... Only difference is On point no. 2 no one swiping me on right...🥲 Avg. Looking person in dating world

WigglyPotato
WigglyPotato
Zepto16mo

Have 2 habits one for morning ( gym workout ) one for evening ( swimming, sports , anything you like) This will really help mentally and physically

DancingKoala
DancingKoala

How is your work life balance? Do you get time for yourself or do you keep working post working hours? How do you spend your weekends?

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