I wish life was a little easier and I just need to vent
My mother called me yesterday and tells me she got scammed for about 10 lakhs and needs money by Monday. She has 4 lakhs and I will have to cover the rest. Turns out she let a friend take a loan in her name and this friend gave fake jewellery as collateral. The friend took loans under her husband’s name and my mom’s name, she divorced the dude and escaped. The bank called my mom and has asked her to pay, now they’re filing a case against my mom for fraud. I’ve spent my weekend talking to advocates and friends, and looks like the only way to get out of it unscathed is to cut a deal with the bank saying we’ll pay the money back and they don’t press charges in return. Contesting the bank is going to take time, money and the risk of my mom losing her job. As an older daughter who grew up in a broken family, I’ve spent my childhood and adulthood protecting my mother and sibling. I finally landed a well paying job 2 years ago and now the responsibility extended to providing for my younger sister and my mother financially which I’m more than happy to do. I’ve worked hard the past few months to save what I have right now beyond what I give my family, use to sustain myself and finally felt happy about the position I’m in. Now I’m heartbroken. I’m going to be emptying almost 70% of what I have so far for this for paying the bank and the lawyer. Especially for something that’s not even my mistake and something that could have been easily avoided. I’m not in a place to direct my anger at her, I know it’s a hard time for her as well. 6 to 7 lakhs might sound like a small amount to some but I don’t have the privilege to throw money like that. I don’t have fuck you money. I don’t take money from friends. I’m 25 and literally just started my life 2 years ago after working for peanuts. What’s even the point of working hard, leading an honest life if this is how it works? It’s just truly unfair and I don’t know how to deal with it.
Sapthinker
Stealth
6 months ago
Me too venting in this space..
//Start if rant
My father too was frauded by a builder whom we had entrusted building flats on our plot of land. Fcker took booking amount from multiple people and left construction, claimants now coming after us saying its our responsibility to refund even though my father didnot recive any amount.
I had to take 18 lakhs loan for my father to complete construction and am all the time calling advocates in assesing risk from claimants who come barging at our home and building site with threats of filling FIR.
Every month my one third salary goes in Loan amount, had got a ideal wlb good paying job 2 years back after battling unemployment and low pay for many years.
Had planned to take wife and kids on vactaions for making up for lost time but now struggling to fulfill basic needs for family, forgot about vacations.
Have taken risk and moonlighting but it becomes hell on days when there is clash between jobs and sometimes lash out on my kids and wife and parents and then get hit by double guilt of not being strong enough.
Dont have any backing to face cheat builder who has backing of police and politicians, claimants coming after us as they have recognized us as soft target.
Preparing for 10 lakhs more expenses in multi year litigation trying to probe my fathers innocence.
Fcking jealous relatives enjoying all this from distance.
Fck this world.
//End of rant
Hey @Sapthinker
So sorry for this battle you're fighting.
I hope you stay strong in it, as you have so far.
It's really nice that you are fighting so much of this battle, taking a hit on capital and your own fun.
I hope you're stoic through all of it. Find strength to withstand it all.
If you feel too down any of the days, feel free to share here, we are here to support/hear you 🫂
BlickCait
Stealth
6 months ago
That’s so unfortunate. Safe to say I partly understand how this feels if not all of it. One of the biggest feeling I’m left with more than anything is that I’m proud of being able to support my family in need. The amount of sacrifices you’re doing to help them out is massive. So take it from me, I’m proud of you. You’re kind and your family is lucky to have you. Even if things are tough right now, your future will be bright. Stay strong ❤️
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You're just 25. You have at least another 20 years of work ex to go by, if not more. You'll make loads of money in years and decades to come. Do the right thing. Pay off the money. You, your mom will sleep well.
Kamlesh
Stealth
6 months ago
Contact Deepika Narayan bharadwaj, she's a reporter covering such cases of women taking advantage of men and Indian systems. Hopefully she can help you out as well.
Really sorry for what you're going through, I hope you pull through it. Stay strong ❤️
+1 to this advice.
Our Indian police and judiciary systems are so crooked corrupt that judges and police will be much likelier to pay attention to your case if there's a social media (or even general media) bawaal. Judges usually won't do jackshit in such cases unless something brings the case in broader public scrutiny.
satan
Stealth
6 months ago
you' seems like mature than i will ever be, but hear me out, i visualise the life just like sine waves, and i expect the bad times, nothing surprise me at this point, be strong you'll get through this.
in between you'll figure out some alternate ways for the loan amount, i hope there is. did you talked with the lawyer, i'm just surprised how did bank even took the fake jewellary as collateral, and didn't followed the proper due dilligence on their side.
there are few lawyers in gv as well, have a word with them if that helps, like @JadeArgent
TinyBoxers
Stealth
6 months ago
Things you may evaluate
1. File a complaint with the Reserve Bank of India Ombudsman scheme. While you need to disclose the whole story, a case can be made against the bank for disbursing the loan without determining the value of the collateral. This may also help with lowering the bank settlement amount. The way I see it, its the banks fault. The RBI's primary objective is to protect the customer.
2. Your mom should file an FIR against her friend for cheating. This paper work will be crucial as you explain your case to any institution/Authority. It's also possible that a cyber crime may take up your case - do check as they fast track cases they pick up.
Banks will bully you into paying the rest of the amount as it's the easiest route for them. If you find a smart criminal lawyer who's not that expensive, you might want to consider fighting the bank when they file charges - but this process will drag for at least 6 months. Happy to help in any way.
This sounds to be most efficient way to deal with this scenario .
But be prepared for emotional turmoil you might face in this time frame .but patience is the key .
Instead of throwing away your hard earned money follow legal way and stay firm .
+1 to this advice OP.
7 lakh is a big amount and the onus should be on the bank to not verify the authenticity of gold jewellery.
Sending you some strength and good wishes. This too shall pass 🌱
Don’t let someone just step over you, I am sure your mom would have some evidence regarding her fraud friend, file an FIR, if not name and shame her in-front of relatives, anyhow you have to pay now to the bank as your mom was guarantor
but please make your mom also understand this, if she is innocent in terms of money matters, advice her not to take any financial decision without your consent. I know this sucks, but also these things will make u further stronger, I can relate to you completely
BlickCait
Stealth
6 months ago
I do plan on going to the police once the lawyer is done negotiating with the bank. But from what my mother is saying, the chances of getting the money back are very bleak. She thought the only loan the friend was taking was the one she signed for but turns out it’s way more than that. So they’re in a very difficult position regardless, so that makes me feel better that they’re not getting away with it.
This is so sad.
It hurts the most when parents/someone their age gets wronged.
What your mother did was completely out of her goodness and openness to help. And then when some asshole does this, I think their world view just shakes in the moment.
Is there no way to go after this said "friend". Get external help and approach them, ask them to fix this, be stern.
What you're doing is really nice. Don't let your family be more stressed out. Absorb some of it, because you can. As for the set back this is doing to your savings, that sucks. But if it's any consolation, you're gonna earn so much in the next 5 years hopefully this will just be a blip.
More power to you @BlickCait, stay strong
Who was provided with collateral? Bank or your mother?. If the collateral is with your mother, why not just take the loan against the gold from bank itself. A little bit of basic discussion among family would go a long way
BlickCait
Stealth
6 months ago
The jewels are with the bank and hence the legal complications. I wish she discussed it with me, but I just have to play with the cards I’ve been dealt with.
The jewels are collateral to bank but the loan was taken in your mother's name? Bank has a appraiser who does the gold check. Looks like bank may be involved. Are there any evidence that the loan was given to the lady and the collateral was also hers?
Threatening is a easy option for bank to collect dues from the the middle class. Don't fall for it. Check with a lawyer, if it is a civil case, it can be dragged on for years and eventually bank can write it off as bad loan.
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LokiPen
Stealth
6 months ago
Life doesn't treat you fair just because you are fair with everyone.
I know that 5-7 lacs is not a small amount but imagine if this hadn't happened then your family members would have continued trusting such people and probably would have got trapped in more larger debt.
Someday in the future, it won't bother you as much as it is bothering you now.
BlickCait
Stealth
6 months ago
At least I’m glad this is an amount I can afford. Very important learning out of this being life doesn’t treat you fair just because you are fair with everyone.
LokiPen
Stealth
6 months ago
Yes but ensure it doesn't make you toxic/bitter/unfair in general.
Just be careful to be cautious towards some things/people/situations and otherwise you can continue being fair.
1. You can bail out your Mom from court case is an achievement for family, you are the flag bearer.
2. Never give any money to anyone beyond say 1% of your total networth.
3. Looks like the woman who took money from your Mom must be reported in police so that she and her ex-husband don't make it way of life to cheat many more people.
4. Try earning some easy money by investing in stock market (it will help you recover the loss), say NIFTY50 stocks like Reliance/Nestle are stable businesses generating capital and growing.
5. Don't put too many personal details/trust on social media or with friends, it can get misused emotionally (like how your Mom also got emotionally cheated), because in the end, you need to strengthen yourself & your family first, without creating newer problems, for a smooth life and also as you will have to do the same with your own finances to grow.
BlickCait
Stealth
6 months ago
Police are already on the lookout for the woman and the husband. The bank has sent a notice to them and filed a complaint to find them.
I’m actually very disciplined with my finances and have spent a lot of time planning for my and my family’s future, which makes this situation feels like a punch in the gut.
I trust my mother enough to not do something like this ever again, so I have to focus on building up from here after I sort all of this out I guess.
Life is unfair. Keep faith in yourself. By looking at your maturity level, you will come stronger in the end.
This too shall pass.
GodofDeath
Stealth
6 months ago
Oh, the rollercoaster of life! Keep your chin up. In tough times like these, remember the Hindi saying, "Mushkil waqt, waqt ki tarah badalta hai."
Sorry to hear that dost. You will get out of this mess, you may miss a few good things in life next few years, but long term it will be a good life. You are taking responsibility for parents and thats a good thing. A few lakhs won’t bring back parents once they are gone, or the comfort that them being there brings
You can hire private investigator & they can track her down, but will charge more than 1 lakh if she hasn’t moved outside India.
Ping me maybe I can give some more help.
DigitalMajdoor69
Stealth
6 months ago
i sure as fucking hope that this is not clickbait as your name suggests, there is a trend on 9gag where click bait posts are shared with the intention of farming internet points.
BlickCait
Stealth
6 months ago
Bro what will I do with grapes? Let a woman cry 😭
StanleyHudson
Stealth
6 months ago
Hi
Your issue reminds me of my ex, who went through the same turmoil.
The only thing I learnt from her was persistence.
Please stay strong queen !
You are NEVER alone. We humans have this bad habit of considering ourselves alone.
@BlickCait I hope you get past this situation. It is easy for outsiders to judge or pass comments. Please stay strong and think thoroughly before making a decision.
