Daughters surviving narcissistic mothers

Wanting to actually screaming, shout and cry but forced to silently cry in pillow. As a society we have put mothers on a pedestal to always respect them, saying they are always right, always loves you, support you and they put your needs before them and all things you read on Mother's day. I can however not relate at all. My mother is a narcissist. I do love her but no, I don't like her. I've been in therapy and I've realized how every single insecurity or my need for validation or the decisions I've taken is all because her. She has always taken me for granted, always demeaned me, she always wants to be the center of attention, always takes all credit. I see my father also being depressed and slowly has given up all together. I feel like a couple counsellor at times. To keep resolving their fights, hear their side, trying to convince them.

She always critisis how I look, what I wear is the most haunting ways and have killed all my confidence. She orders everything to us like she has hired us, her needs take precedence over us. I understand she means well but I'm not an extension of her. I'm a different human. I mean on my birthday she says she should be celebrated because she gave me birth. During fights she abuses and say such horrific things that I have not even heard in streets, and I live in Delhi. She always plays the victim and say things like I kept you in me for 9 months, or tumko padhaya likhaya, I make food for you... But isn't that what as parents you are supposed to do. You signed up for it when you decided to be parents. And I can cook for myself and for them but she don't want to eat what I cook cuz obviously it's not as good as hers. I really want to cut ties but being single child how can you leave your parents. It's more like a rant now with no such structure. And people who don't agree or think I'm ungrateful or exaggerating I beg you to keep your assumptions with you. Because last thing I need is another criticism from someone who don't know things at all. This is just me venting and it's okay if you don't agree, I don't need to know that