Transformation is needed to make them realize what they lost

Data engineer

It's hard to digest but, if someone doesn't feel that sparks for you, doing gym and physical transformation rarely alters their feelings/inclination towards you in real life. 
 I think it's needed to make yourself realise that you are not as worthless as they might have assumed.

Software Engineer

Heartbreak works as initial motivator for exercise but it fades away once you are healed. And then you stop gymming and put on weight. Hence, irrespective of your relationship status, either take fitness seriously or just don't bother.

Senior Consultant

"Break-ups suck, but burpees don't! Ditch the tears and hit the gym instead. Here's why: 
  
 - Endorphins are the ultimate revenge. Get your sweat on and feel good about yourself (for once). 
  
 - Exercise is like a giant middle finger to your ex. You're doing better without them, anyway. 
  
 - Who needs a significant other when you have significant bicep curls? 
  
 - Your ex might've left you, but your gains won't. Invest in yourself, not some deadbeat ex. 
  
 - Break-ups are like burpees - tough at first, but you'll get through them and come out stronger on the other side (with a sick six-pack). 
  
 So, put on your sassiest workout gear and get moving! Your body (and your ex) will be green with envy"

Quite elaborate ! 
 PS: You seem to have been through a lot my friend

The choice is yours  
 A. A sobbing couch potato 
 B. A tinder swiping couch potato 
 C. Netflix couch potato. 
 D. Certifications master 
 E. Get fit at a gym

Product Manager

If you have to ask, it's probably not going to help you that much. I mean in terms of motivation for discipline.

Software Developer

Hitting the anytime for whatever reason always helps. It helps you!!

Discipline > artificial/temporary motivation any day

If there is anger and resentment, it's a good way to channel it into something useful for self improvement 
  
 In a few months you will have sweat away all your emotions and have a healthy body to boot

Generalist

Content Compliance

Anything will help, if you are not thinking about it! Doing what you love will subside what you are going through but it takes time!

Tech Lead

Any form of physical activity is always a good idea but after breakup you need anything and everything to get your mind off stuff

Does hitting the gym after a break-up really help or is it just a fad? How exactly does it help ?

Does hitting the gym after a break-up really help or is it just a fad? How exactly does it help ?- Grapevine

I think the current phase in my life is the lowest I am already PIPed by swiggy and I have broken up with my gf.

Feeling like my life has reached the end. Can't sleep at all specially after the break up. Now I regret for blocking her atleast I should have waited until getting into some company. But now I don't want to go to her due to some personal reasons.

It feel sucks. I am not able to focus on interview preparation. I am not in depression but my mental health is shit right now and gets headache daily.
Please help me shall I consult some doctor for this or is this okay. I don't have much friends that's why I am asking here

I genuinely need help

Sorry for posting here. Can anyone help me

Sorry to hear what you're going through. It may sound cringe but praying to god helped me during my tough times. 
 Talk to your parents and siblings if you're on good terms. If nothing helps talk to a psychologist. 
 I may get flack for saying this, but right now you have a much bigger problem to deal with, i.e. PIP. Start preparing for interviews during weekends and try to finish your office work diligently.  
  
 As for your relationship, no one here knows how serious you were about it. If both of you hadn't considered making it long term, I would say it's better to keep things the way they are right now. I had a pretty bad breakup few years back, but now when I look back, all I can do is laugh about the fact that,  I was head over heals for such a shitty person. 
  
 It's my suggestion and I might be completely wrong and being a d*ck here. You have to decide what's utmost important to you write now. 
  
 Prioritize your physical and emotional well-being, then your work, and then someone else. Wish you all the best.

Welcome to Ask Grapeviners's Private Community

I wonder what is it that cause they guys and the girls to transform aesthtically wrt to clothes, weight loss and hair etc post breakup? 

It’s not just limited to breakup but divorces too. 

Is it because you want to put yourself out there again?

Plus if you can be like this then why not be like this while you were with the other person? It’s like not giving your 100% at first and then going about it. 

What are your views?

Transforming Post Breakups

Growth Manager

how you cope up with heart break, also how long it was?
kinda need advice (mine was 7 years).

Hi banglore people

Welcome to Office Gossip's Private Community

Too many things broken at the same time!
1. Broke off with a girl i liked 
2. Insane busy schedule 
3. Had some fights with colleague 
4. Had no motivation to hit the gym

Need some positive vibes 🤞🏻

Tiring week chief!

I had been working out on and off since covid and was not able to maintain consistency (used to workout at home regularly for a couple of years before covid). So I started going to cult a month back to be consistent and developed some good habits like 10k+ steps everyday, balanced meals and 5 days a week workout etc.
Now, I didn't go for a workout for the last 4 days, and I started getting food cravings and I am not able to maintain the steps as well. 
What's the solution here? I feel just working out keeps me centred in terms of other habits as well, but how do you all manage workout breaks and maintain healthy habits during non-workout days?

How do you bounce back from fitness breaks?

Data Analyst

Ever since 2020, it feels like years have passed within weeks. I can't possibly explain this in words, but for some reason, time has been passing a bit too fast. Before I realized it, my graduation was completed, someone who would seem a grown-up to the person I was before the lockdown. Festivals don't seem to make me happy now, and neither does having friends and going out with anyone...everything seems normal and everything goes by before I can process anything on my mind. Is it just me? I can't feel any emotions like I used to, is it something that all grown-ups go through/suffer with?

Is Time Really Passing Too Fast Now?

Because we’re doing too many things. Weekdays are slammed with work, weekends are slammed with relatives, weddings, friends, chores, functions, outings!  
  
 Even till late in the night the screens are lit up and many us forget time. But the time you look up from the screen is an hour past in 15 mins.  
  
 We should sit. Do nothing. And just notice how slow the world is. Even for an hour or couple of hours.  
  
 Morpheus : It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.

Product Designer

I'm 21 m. Had a 9 months old relationship with a girl who's 6 months older. It was the best 9 months of my life. We connected on so many levels that I never thought would happen with me at such a young age. 

Recently, she broke up with me. It was not our mistake. Her mother isn't well (from a long time, and I knew that) and her last wish is to see her daughter getting married. 

Forcefully, she had to admit this and told me everything. And told me that we need to end this. 

It's been 3 weeks, and there's minimal contact between us. 

I'm a final year college student, not getting placements, too much pressure from family. I can't think about anything. Feels like all of this is eating me up. We had very secure future plans, but everything is over now. I don't know what to do. 

I try very hard to stay on track, but her thoughts are eating me up. I've started meditation, therapy and everything, but nothing is working the way I thought it would do. 

She was the one that gave me assurance that everything will be fine. Her presence was the most peaceful thing I had, but now, there's nothing. 

Help me, please. 

PS: please don't judge me the way I am. I'm trying to be normal as much as possible but nothing's working.

Need urgent help.

How did you deal with a breakup when you were working?
I feel like I should take a break from everything but I really can't afford to lose my job.
My mind's become hell.

Dealing with breakup

0. Try to have a call/video call before the first date. Always take their phone number/insta id before agreeing to meet, plenty of ghosters and shady folks these days.

1. Always try to meet outside for the first date. Don't go for drives. Those kinda dates almost never end up going well in the long run. Ask to meet halfway, don't go out of your way just to meet someone.

2. Don't meet someone with the expectation to start dating or getting married right away. Get to know them as friends first. Everything else later. 

3. Date for 2-3 months at least before committing to be exclusive, don't rush into things and keep your options open. 

4. Do not go for dates when you're feeling down or depressed. Meeting a stranger most likely won't help, it'll only distract temporarily.

5. Draw up a list of things you want and don't want in a partner. Should have at least 5-6 points on both sides. Pointless to date without knowing that much, but the list will also change with time. 

6. Keep an open mind, try to be empathetic, and have fun. Don't compromise just to please the other. Learn to take a stand and draw boundaries from the start.

7. Use protection always, no matter what. And also have some self defense prepared just in case (for all genders).

Having met hundreds of people through dating apps in the last decade, these are a few rules I formed for myself over time. Hope they help :)

Dating rules 101

Welcome to Business Roles's Private Community

I’ve been working from past 5 years and in this phase of my career I don’t feel I am contributing enough to the org or interested in moving up the ladder seeing the lifestyles and fucked up WLB. I’ve recently suffered a huge personal loss. Have turned extremely under confident, feel like quitting everything. How to overcome this?

How to move forward in work and in life?

Program Manager

A friend of mine was dating a girl, convinced his parents to offer marriage. But girl chickened out last minute, married one her father had chosen. This really fucked him up, he was determined to get married anyhow, whom didn't matter. 
1 Yr later, found a girl parents found, got pregnant before first anniversary. Over 3 years, their marriage has seen divorce, domestic violence and 5 star hotel celebrations (oscillated to extremes of good and bad)

I'm seeing another such case.
Office colleagues were dating, he proposed marriage, she declined. He said stuff that shouldn't have been said, she threatened POSH (did not complain officially)
2 months later, he has found someone to marry through arrange marriage route 

Break ups are bad, but half of the problem were you. Instead of working on that, people take it on ego

Rebound marriages are the worst

Consultant

Most useful workout hack: 👇

Senior Software Engineer

I am a 29 YO single male. I earn decently well for my age. Lately I haven’t been feeling well. As in, life is just passing by and nothing brings me joy anymore - No PS5, No long drives, no movies or shows. 
Weekends are especially lonely. During weekdays, I make sure I go to my office everyday even though it’s hybrid, to avoid feeling lonely. 
I don’t have any female friends to talk about things deeply as most of those friends are now getting married. (you know how is it with us boys. It feels weird to share emotions or talk about life with the same sex somehow). Same for male friends. They are all getting married. 
Somehow, it just feels like I focused too much on my work and didn’t invest time in finding a mate at the right time. 
Now, on weekends, I just lay on my bed like a loser. I was never like this. I had so much drive to work, to explore, etc. But now it all seems pointless. 

Do you guys have any suggestions on what to do?

Loneliness - Nothing brings joy anymore

Get checked for Vitamin D & B12 levels also ADHD

Product Owner

Is it just on this platform or irl as well?

They won't point out insecurity in men, but rather help him device a breakup strategy
Men feeling sad or down are advised to go on treks???!!
Beer won't solve everything, and you know that

Does hitting the gym after a break-up really help or is it just a fad? How exactly does it help ?

Discover More

Misc on

by Jordon Lee

Swiggy

Sorry for posting here. Can anyone help me

Ask Grapeviners on

by Kalan Lee

Stealth

Transforming Post Breakups

Bangalore on

by Karilyn Carmden

Student

Hi banglore people

Office Gossip on

by Blair Everett

Swiggy

Tiring week chief!

Fitness on

by Matilda Lee

Gojek

How do you bounce back from fitness breaks?

Misc on

by Jordon Taye

Student

Is Time Really Passing Too Fast Now?

Misc on

by Kendall Hyrum

Microsoft

Need urgent help.

Adulting on

by Matilda Nadeen

Student

Dealing with breakup

Adulting on

by Jordon Carmden

Stealth

Dating rules 101

Business Roles on

by Kalan Denver

Flipkart

How to move forward in work and in life?

Adulting on

by Kalan Everett

Stealth

Rebound marriages are the worst

Fitness on

by Kendall Carmden

Stealth

Most useful workout hack: 👇

Misc on

by Kendall Gabriel

Stealth

Loneliness - Nothing brings joy anymore

Adulting on

by Jordon Denver

Nothing

Men give such shitty advices to other men