Dying in guilt
I found an old form from 2013, my father had sent details Annual Income - 8L Education expense - 2.5L
He is retired govt empl so couldn't lie on numbers
I was in top autonomous institute, and my brother in good private school in Delhi
It hits me now, how I wasted my life 'enjoying college' and thereafter Falling in and out of love
Parents never say anything on practical topics, just regular wake up early, eat vegetables rant
I fucked my life and how
One interview, 1000+ job opportunities
Take a 10-min AI interview to qualify for numerous real jobs auto-matched to your profile 🔑
There’s a lot of time for you too do what you wish to do. Guilt and regret are temporary, your actions are kinda more important.
We will always disappoint our people as every person is different. You did what you felt gave you happiness at that point. Don’t be hard on yourself.
Your parents will eventually be the happiest when they see you chasing your dreams and goals. Don’t regret anything. Just take it one day at a time and do what feels right.
Cheer!
Let me be a bit harsh, rather realistic : "Do what feels right " but not at the cost of wasting your parents' hard-earned money
My parents broke their old LIC to help me
educate in a private college.
Now I try to help them by purchasing stuffs to make their life easier and comfortable. Recently purchased 55 inch Samsung TV, earlier wakefit mattress and before that washing machine.
That's so nice. I wish I would able to do the same one day
@shinigami Yes this is how it’s done. Parents do everything for their kids. That’s unconditional love. And all they care about is honestly your comfort and if you’re happy in your life. It doesn’t matter you earn 10k or 100k. If you’re happy, they are happy.
Same situation was with me
Father didn’t earn much but made me an engineer.
It used to kill me thinking about how I fucked my engineering life , completed it in 6 years. But that was 10 years ago.
Cracked GATE after that (AIR 3799) , though chose not to pursue masters
Today I am a software engineer with 8 yrs experience and earning well. Recently I purchased a home as well.
So don’t let your regrets kill you from inside. People will tell you to forget about what you did and move forward, but you need to remember what you did and that regret will take you a long way if you decide to leave that behind you and learn from it.
Lastly, don’t look where others are in their life. You will reach where you want to be , but it might take some 4-5 years more to reach there that’s it. Eventually you will be there
Realised it the day I stepped in Kota. Saw people selling their land for the admission fee. That day I realised we are really at a good state. My parents enrolled me there and took a train returning ( instead of the bus).
After 2/3 years, my mother told me about the debit card limit at that time and that they were left with only 200/300 in cash. Never wasted their money on anyone after that till I started making money
I agree, it has made me question every purchase 100 time. We are not short of money, but this habit doesn’t go
Are you not employed rn? If you're supporting yourself and your parents then how's your life fuked ?
I am working, but stay with parents. So it is still them who are taking care of me, not other way round (still that burden)
Staying with them doesn’t mean it’s a burden my dear. And firstly the question is why do you feel so bad?
Is it because you didnot study well, you didnot clear your exams ? You didnot care about their money earlier ? What are those questions? Think about them.
Now try to address each of them.
And in case you haven’t been good in any of the above asked questions, it’s absolutely fine, you earn now and see how you can help them out, sit and talk to them most importantly. This will help you. Let them know how you feel and tell them you love them and care about them and are thankful for the sacrifice they have done for you
My parents made a lot of sacrifices to get me the education I wanted. My mom sold all her gold and land she got from her family. I learned all this 2 years back. And now I make sure I send them money every month, pay all their bills, and buy them any appliances or expensive gadgets they may need.
P.S - my parents are retired
Back when I was in college I didn’t know what sacrifices they made, and I did a bunch of things I regret too. But now the only way I can rectify it is by doing what I can now. I know now that they are extremely proud of me and that’s all that matters.
You can’t change your past but you can fix things in your present
No guilt, didn’t push my parents to pay hefty fees for colleges, they were also daily gig workers. Graduated as Non-collegiate. Started working smalls gigs after 12th. 1 year later got a job in call centre. After 12 years now I am proud I make enough that I can live life happily and my family can also fulfil all dreams.
So proud of how far you have come! Great going
That educational expense was not wasted FULLY. You got to experience that education. It will stay with you forever, it made you think about your guilt( many are guilt free) and lastly it gave satisfaction to them that they are doing their best.
They also might have had fun on their parents hardships. सास भी कभी बहू थी। but most Indian parents never tell this.
Look forward. Utilise whatever time is left. A lot of time is left.
Here I was have the opposite problem, I feel like a loser for earning way less than my parents. I earn 12 LPA while my parents earn 10x this. There’s not much I can do to improve their lives
Your parents are double your age (almost) They will earn more, I agree you cant give to them who want nothing
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Your father couldn't be rich and successful. You are his son. You cannot reverse bad genes. It is biological.
