638K likes, 1,623 comments - sugarr_coated_ on February 27, 2024

 Nhlanhla Nkhetoa on Instagram

God give me strength

Product Owner

God give me strength- Grapevine

I was watching the Doctor Strange movie. When Stephen asked "Are you happy?", it made me spiral. 

To be honest, I don't know if I'm happy. I have nothing to look forward to in my life. Well anyways....

Are you happy?

[Serious] Are you happy?

Software Engineer

I feel my life is extremely difficult after demise of my beloved father at the age he should have  not left us this early he was 51 and now without him my life is just extremely difficult in all aspects  , people around me , relatives , career aspect marriage aspect future everything just scares me and  i feel i cannot reach out to anyone for my help not even my mother with my problems I feel if i reach out to anyone they just shut it like dont overthink , please stop with your negativity I just dont know how to get on with life He was like shield to us Now i dont know even me , my mom , my sibling has changed like anything Nothing feels good anymore

Loosing a parent

Analyst 

Hello everyone,

I hope you're doing well. I find myself in a challenging situation and could really use your advice and support.

**Context:**
I graduated in 2021 with a degree in electrical engineering from a decent college, but unfortunately, I didn't secure a placement. Since then, I've been struggling to find my path and ended up taking random jobs, leading to a significant gap in my career of almost 2 to 3 years. Alongside my career struggles, I've been battling with depression and anxiety, which have been exacerbated by the lack of support from family and friends. Despite seeking help from therapists and doctors, I haven't seen much improvement. Additionally, I attempted the GATE exam without success, as I lack passion and feel limited options are available.

**Request:**
I'm feeling lost and fearful about my future, especially considering my physical and mental health issues. My confidence has taken a hit due to repeated failures, and I find myself fearing everything. I'm reaching out to this community in the hope of finding guidance, support, and perhaps some practical advice on how to regain my confidence and overcome these fears.

**Additional Request:**
If anyone has faced similar challenges or has insights on how to rebuild confidence after setbacks, I would greatly appreciate your input.

Any insights, personal experiences, or suggestions you can offer would be immensely appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read this and for any help you can provide.

Warm regards

Seeking Guidance on Career and Health Crisis

Software Developer

Welcome to Office Gossip's Private Community

How do you guys sophisticatedly explain to team and and your manager in standup that yesterday you did nothing ?

Hate standups

I think the current phase in my life is the lowest I am already PIPed by swiggy and I have broken up with my gf.

Feeling like my life has reached the end. Can't sleep at all specially after the break up. Now I regret for blocking her atleast I should have waited until getting into some company. But now I don't want to go to her due to some personal reasons.

It feel sucks. I am not able to focus on interview preparation. I am not in depression but my mental health is shit right now and gets headache daily.
Please help me shall I consult some doctor for this or is this okay. I don't have much friends that's why I am asking here

I genuinely need help

Sorry for posting here. Can anyone help me

I made the mistake of graduating into a recession and managed to get a middle management job that I'm overqualified and underpaid for. I've had several recruiters and senior team members in the roles I'm applying for tell me that my profile is good, give me hope for an interview, and then stop responding after sending a rejection mail. I'm sure I need to upskill myself and I am, but I guess I'm going to be spending the better part of my 20s playing catch up because of this.

I have it a lot better than most people, so I try not to complain, but it feels demeaning to be setting up meetings and writing word docs when I have several finance and statistics projects and internships. I thought I was signing up for a quant role, and got switched ("restructured") to a different team on my second day. I tried being incredibly insecure about my skillset, but I think I'll give up on job applications for a while. I've seen the amount of favouritism that happens in recruiting at my job, and I've heard from two recruiters now that the decision to hire me was "out of their hands". Just focusing on other things I've been neglecting and doing my CFA silently until the tide changes in hiring. At least I have a job, I can't imagine what it's like not to in this economy.

Just... Really Tired.

A final year student

I made a lot of mistakes in my life
Never ever worked hard to my fullest potential
Didn't studied well even though I had potential during JEE
Keep getting attracted to girls(very few times), even though I am training myself not to.

Becoming emotionally down often
Feeling guilty of not being able to have someone to talk to.

What I simply want is to work to my fullest potential without getting attracted to the other gender so that there are no distractions and becoming mentally strong to the point that I don't need anyone else continuously present in my life for me.

There has to be a way
Almost everyone around me are so strong
My gut believes I don't have that much time left
I just want to fix everything for my parents and my brother
And leaving with a pride and honor of a MAN.

How to Forgive OneSelf?

Never glorify your struggles while you still haven't made it to the place you wanna be. It will slow down your progress / give you false sense of achievement which is actually yet to come !!

Struggles

Project manager

I used to be a creative guy in my mid 20s. I learned to play a guitar, could sketch pretty well and also used to work out pretty regularly.
Lift has changed drastically in the last 2 years and I now find myself no time to spend on my hobbies. I tuned 30 recently and have been under slight shock that my responsibilities are bound to increase due to family and work.
I had no responsibility till now and had lived a care free life.
Now that I am engaged, I've realized that I need to dedicate my time for my family, my well being, my upskilling and also some to to evaluate my finances. This has also made me realize that I won't have enough time for my hobbies/interests. I badly want to learn to play an electric guitar and the fact that I won't have much time terrifies me as I need to make a choice of doing something that I love (learn to play a guitar) or doing something that helps me to live a life and pay off my bills which basically is my full time job.
I might have a child in another 4-5 years and the responsibility of having a child terrifies me even more. 
I don't want to make a choice between being there for my child and being there for my work.
I'm not sure if I'm over thinking or just being realistic but not having enough time for yourself due to work and family has been bothering me lately. 
I'm 30 and the fact that responsibilities are bound to increase in my life terrifies me.
Is this a common and a normal feeling or is this unnatural?

Folks who are working in your 30s, do you still find time to work on your hobbies? If yes, how are you able to manage your family life, work life, upskilling, working out and making time for your hobbies?

Product Designer

Welcome to Confessions's Private Community

I have been living with my parents and recently lost my father and suddenly felt like I have lost the protective shield. I was very much dependent on my father for all the people dealing that I never realised people are so self centred and emotion less. Everyone is thinking about themselves including so called near and dear ones. I don't get whom to trust and whom not to.  Worst part is I never felt he was so important in my life when he was alive and now that he has gone I can't do anything to bring him back. 
Missing my dad so much.

Confession

Program Manager

I am a homosexual, and I've found the dating culture here to be much better than in other parts of the country. However, I generally keep that aspect of my life private at work.

When I started dating, I was well aware of where high-risk behaviour takes you to. I made it a point to get tested every six months.

One of my tests took an extra two days for a re-run of the sample, and I received a call to meet the doctor in person. I knew that’s the standard protocol for an HIV positive result.

While I wasn't surprised, I was deeply saddened by the results. Coming from a middle-class family, I had worked hard to secure a good job, earn money, and support my family. Yet, this virus seemed to be an inevitable part of my journey ever since my struggles began as a teenager.

I've always known that I needed to be successful and strong to succeed in all aspects of life. But this is not a battle that can be won. It is a slow surrender to death. Life is an acceptance of your eventual death for everyone but mine is fated to be in my 50s. 

Some close friends, family members, and any partners I meet are aware of my condition, but I prefer not to deal with the hassles and perceptions at work. Legally, NACO registration is optional, have chosen not to.

With the hookup culture increasing in the city for everyone, I hope this serves as a PSA to be safe.

Diagnosed with HIV a year ago

Consultant

One week ago, everything was going well in my life. I had a good job, my mum was happy, Papa proudly told everyone, my son is a software engineer, there was no tension for my younger brother's education, we were thinking of buying all the things this diwali like for mum ,gold,for dad, bike.3 days before, my manager asked me for resignation and gives me poor ratings because management told him to do that. Since that day, my deep happiness has disappeared. Mummy is sad, papa is sad, I am not even feeling good. Today I went to the bank to take a loan for my brother's education. When I came to talk he rejected me.
I reached the station and was filled with sorrow. I kept writing this post. If I ever come back to my life, I will remember this time when I look at this post. And if everything has gone wrong, then I will accept my fate.

What kind of problems come in life?

My mother called me yesterday and tells me she got scammed for about 10 lakhs and needs money by Monday. She has 4 lakhs and I will have to cover the rest. Turns out she let a friend take a loan in her name and this friend gave fake jewellery as collateral. The friend took loans under her husband’s name and my mom’s name, she divorced the dude and escaped. The bank called my mom and has asked her to pay, now they’re filing a case against my mom for fraud.

I’ve spent my weekend talking to advocates and friends, and looks like the only way to get out of it unscathed is to cut a deal with the bank saying we’ll pay the money back and they don’t press charges in return. Contesting the bank is going to take time, money and the risk of my mom losing her job.

As an older daughter who grew up in a broken family, I’ve spent my childhood and adulthood protecting my mother and sibling. I finally landed a well paying job 2 years ago and now the responsibility extended to providing for my younger sister and my mother financially which I’m more than happy to do. I’ve worked hard the past few months to save what I have right now beyond what I give my family, use to sustain myself and finally felt happy about the position I’m in.

Now I’m heartbroken. I’m going to be emptying almost 70% of what I have so far for this for paying the bank and the lawyer. Especially for something that’s not even my mistake and something that could have been easily avoided. I’m not in a place to direct my anger at her, I know it’s a hard time for her as well. 


6 to 7 lakhs might sound like a small amount to some but I don’t have the privilege to throw money like that. I don’t have fuck you money. I don’t take money from friends. I’m 25 and literally just started my life 2 years ago after working for peanuts. 

What’s even the point of working hard, leading an honest life if this is how it works? It’s just truly unfair and I don’t know how to deal with it.

I wish life was a little easier and I just need to vent

Growth Manager

Hi, I’ve been feeling a lot overwhelmed lately and haven’t been able to cry (watching Tamasha on the week didn’t work either). I wanna know when and why the last time you broke down.

When was the last time you broke down?

When i was in college i wanted to build my own company/product. Thought of many ideas and tried to build something. None of them worked and it affected my studies so I had to quit just to clear my exams.

After college I took placements in a WITCH like company where I got put into data entry/operations job after clearing difficult coding interviews (kismat kharab?). 
Somehow learnt new technologies on the side and managed to switch to a development role at a lower salary in a startup.

After 3 years Worked hard on DSA and (barely) managed to get a good offer with above average pay. But the company is not stable anymore and may layoff at any time. 
Right now struggling to learn enough DSA to crack any company.
Now I am almost 30, i have no hobbies,no talents, no relationships just trying to have a stable career.

I see people everywhere doing so many things at once. How do they manage to do this.
They are working at FAANG and managing businesses at the same time, have a bunch of friends.
What am I doing wrong?

Just a long rant about life

Welcome to Software Engineers's Private Community

(Trigger warnings ) I had a mental Breakdown two days where I actually contemplated to off myself. I feel I am completely stuck in my current job and mental health has taken a free fall. There has been nothing to look forward to in my job career is absolutely stagnant I remember days i stayed up in night just ensure smooth deliverables but none of that translated to promotions or hike well I know you all will say why didn't you switch this is where the problem is I cannot bring myself to actually concentrate and prepare it seemingly a huge effort for me. I just not able to have that energy i feel absolutely negative. I could use some tough love. All I know is I cannot continue its literally do or die for me .PS : 2 days ago I "celebrated" 5 yrs work anniversary.

Mental Breakdown

Recently i had changed my job, previously WFH now new job WFO. I constantly feel that i may loose my job and i had to take some medicine for this as well. Doctor told me i was having pessimistic thinking and was depressed. I am the sole earning memeber of my home, 23 father dead, mother remains ill. Sister small in college.

I am in constant fear and this thing is eating me alive.

I am in constant fear.

Without a job in hand and now I am fucking scared that no one will hire me.

Fuck this shit.

God give me strength

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