How do you choose people?

I have lost all the trust and dont even trust my shadow anymore. But then, Human relationships thrive on trust. Its forms the fulcrum of every bond. This puts me in a difficult situation where I cant offer trust but seek a deeper and lost lasting connection I just feel that people leave me. Most of them did, When I hit my low. But as they say, The comeback has to be stronger than the setback. I am moving towards bigger things in life and am still haunted by this fear of not being able to connect.

You meet new people - on some you cringe, some are boring, some intrigue you, some you respect, and some are intimidating It is the intimidating lot that makes me jhzdgfhfghsjj (how do I explain this) I feel small infront of them, even though I am not in the same room or face to face There's an unknown fear, it feels you have to prove yourself to them (for no reason) Somehow our brains put them on a higher pedestal for various reasons - it is different reasons for different people Why why do I have to feel like this? How do I get rid of it?

The obsession I regret the most in my life is the all or nothing behavior. Where, - I'll apply for a job only after knowing everything there is to know for a role. This is why I used to see people with half my knowledge applying and getting jobs and moving ahead in life. I used think it's so unfair that they achieve in all aspects of their life and I in none... - I'll date someone only when I know I am the perfect version that I envision for myself - I'll only take photos when I am in my perfect shape. If I don't have 8 abs, I don't deserve photos! - I'll stop questioning whether I am good enough only when I achieve everything else I am a loser I just was very cruel to myself for my own imperfections! This instilled a fear in me that shattered my spirit, self confidence and self worth. I ended up being afraid to pick anything up. If I couldn't stay course in something and for some reason I wasn't able to do something for a day or 2, my perfectionism mindset said, that's it, I am a failure and I thought, nothing can be done now and gave up This resulted in I procrastinating in things. Why to work hard, I am never gonna make it... I have 100 things to do in life else I am failure but I don't have time to do all that in this lifetime. Perfectionism results in not doing anything! After meeting people, self introspection and podcasts from people, I realised its okay to mess up, its okay to fall down. I should dust myself off and continue! It is so hard now to change yourself after years of disappointment. You need so much positivity and letting go of perfectionism. You need self love and kindness... TLDR - Don't be like an OCD person obsessing over things to go exactly the way they want! Don't reject yourself due to failures/setbacks. Dust yourself off and move ahead! It's okay to be imperfect as long as you promise to be consistent!

Sometimes people use certain people for the transient phase to heal themselves and then move one once they are able to rediscover themselves. While this may not be purely intentional at times, this does leave a sense of worthlessness in the other person's soul. And then the person feels "used" and breaks other people's heart and the cycle continues. It can become a vicious loop if things are not clearly communicated.

No context. Self explainatory.

Hi In final year right now of my BE My entire college life I am feeling left out No friends, If I need something I ask my classmates It feels odd It feels week Why as a MAN I am feeling such emotions Even accepting the fact myself that path further ahead will be like this only But still in mind, somewhere I believe if I had someone to talk to Someone to share everything I have It would have been better Yet again weak thoughts How as MALE adults you overcome Or you don't give a f*ck about it More like "hey, I don't even have time to feel shit" Pls throw some light on these thoughts I am open to every discussion

So I’ve been a below avg. looking guy my entire school and college life. Got a decent job offer (8LPA) during my campus placements. This was the story till January 2023. Now It’s been around 1.5 Years. I’ve been working out 6 days a week (rarely skips), eat super clean food (monthly 1 cheat meal), started a skincare routine and tried to learning new technologies in search of a better job. This is the routine I followed for the entire 1.5 years. Right now, I’ve a high paying job and a great physique. (Went from 68Kgs to 81Kgs) A few women have approached me in last 3-4 months. In the gym, people come and talk to me regarding my diet and workout. A lot of people are sending me linkedin connections requests, asking for referral and guidance. But now I don’t wanna talk to anyone because no one wanted to talk that ugly, lean and broke me. Wish someone would’ve came to that old version of me and said “You are enough”.

At the risk of sounding weak, this has become more and more rampant with me. It feels as if I am living someone's elses life. Somedays I just feel like living a life thats pointless. These are the days when I feel very prone to these emotional impulses of sudden "lonlinesss" (despite having few of the most amazing people in my life) or "emptiness" or "anti-gratitude/self-destruction". So much mental lethargy behing these useless chain of thoughts. Am I the only one? Have I lost it? Am I sensitive? Is it a bad thing? Am I overworked? Am I too critical about my thoughts? Man this is so confounding.

I have been a little caught up with numerous things in my life lately and have finally found some free time to open up myself to new experiences. I had a wishlist of shows and movies that I wanted to watch but as soon as I start watching them, I get bored and feel like turning it off. No, its not the content No, its not the genre No, its not the actors No, its not the taste either This is pretty ironic as considering the fact that I have spent a fair share of my youth chasing academics and career, my heart had always craved for life experiences. I had to let go of the woman I loved simply because I was too focussed on my JEE. I wont be able to forgive myself for that EVER. It almost felt like I had lost a limb, without which , I would be rendered disfunctional. Thats a separate story tho. Nothing excites me (yep nothing) Nothing amuses me Nothing feels lively I have no clue where my life is headed I understand that as we age, our triggers of happiness change. I have put concious efforts into knowing what those new triggers are. But I cant find any plausible sources of happiness. I am performing pretty well with my career. Even got a double digit hike. But didnt feel that kick of joy. Have I approached a dead end?