How to find a hubby?
I have been online on a lot of sites (shaadi.com, Bharatmatrimony etc) for 2 years now but it’s been really hard to get a guy. There have not been many expectations, just a decently well educated guy who can talk with respect to ladies (I find it really hard to get guys of the latter, on these sites) Those who were successful in arranged marriage, how did you do it? Any tips please. Should I pay some matchmakers? Suggestions are welcome.
AliveYouth71
Stealth
a year ago
I doubt your expectation is just a well educated guy. There are hidden parameters u arent sharing. Or when the guy presents itself you are making some reason to not proceed
True. Line nahi khatam hoti laundo ki when it comes to job or marriage opportunity
satan
Stealth
a year ago
I was about to suggest to try overseas guys, but then I remember….
Unbelievable post. It's so skewed for women on online matrimony. A girl would get hundreds of requests. Why can't you still find a partner? There are definitely some other parameters which you didn't share.
Salesforceswap
Stealth
a year ago
Analze the life of a boy's mother. Boy are close to them and expect similar things with life partner.
If mom is decent there is fair chance the boy is also the same .
Since you've already tried online, might as well put an advert on a billboard, or walk with a sign /s
BiryaniEnthu
Stealth
a year ago
Not my place to offer advice, but some genuinely good (sounds so) men commented here. You can speak with them off grapevine
Worth giving a shot
https://grapevine.in/post/808462ef-8ae0-4269-aaa3-c683ba1194bb
LooseGoose
Stealth
a year ago
It's a numbers game. 100 matches/people you speak to = 10 interesting ones = 2-3 potential partners. Keep looking, you'll get there.
Do check your standards though, if you're looking for attributes like more than 6 ft tall or earns a bomb, you will find very few options and conversely those guys will have a lot more options than you do.
Don't lock a wedding unless you spend at least a few months knowing your potential partner and having at least one fight/argument to see how they react to fights.
That doesn't mean you initiate an argument for the sake of this, but you need to look out for it. Underrated skill is to stay calm in tense situations and steer towards peace. Men often have a hard time controlling their emotions.
Don't pay matchmakers, it's not worth it. Dating apps have a way bigger catalog of people that matchmakers will never be able to compete with.
Cyphx5
Stealth
a year ago
I have never understood the logic of having atleast one fight. It is just too biased an emotion to use as your benchmark. Any couple will fight and they generally learn how to navigate those fights as a couple. That will happen after you have fought multiple times.
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Umadbro
Stealth
a year ago
I hope it’s not a troll post.
Arranged marriages are about what you bring to the table. You mentioned a well educated guy which is code for earning handsomely, what do you have to offer in return? Especially when you want someone who can talk well. (Respect here is subjective. If you are abusing someone would you want him to call you aap?)
Usually the exchange is high earning man (money) against looks (trophy wife). If that was the case, it would have already happened. I would suggest to lower your expectations. Connection is not even a preference surprisingly.
Or just go to bumble, and say you are looking for something long term.
Not to sound harsh but here it goes.
For an arranged marriage (in normal scenario), anybody listing on matrimony website is a red flag.
You either don't have social connections (🚩), or nobody wants to recommend you a proposal because of your red flags.
So a mutual connection arranged marriage is always the way to go.
Yeah, like lakhs of people there are all walking red flags!!
I have clearly mentioned 'normal scenario'
India is overpopulated anyways
There are a good number of divorcees too
In India, matrimony website is your last option
I speak from what I have seen
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I meet your expectations. Should we continue the talk and take it forward? Maybe grapevine would work for you
Fortunately or unfortunately, these sites have made the potential pool large so that you can key in your search params and find top matches. However, top matches may have different criteria than yours. Even if it matches, there is always someone new who is joining every week so the match or the tendency is to keep the match on hold and find a better match. After all what is the urgency?
RapidHaunt95
Stealth
a year ago
Absolutely true ...main reason today for not getting the right match... because the next right match is a swipe away....and it's true for both sides...
Also, you should use these sites for discovery only. Rest of the verification and kundali matching etc should be done offline like the good old days.
While finding a right match is not easy, it’s even more difficult when you have too many options. There’s only one thing that should matter- Is he a provider or not. F the woke culture, some good guys would come out to be too crude but the right guy is the one who’ll knock down all the doors when pushed into the corner and comes out blazing.
Men have a certain role to play in the family and no matter how the idiotic western culture tries to downplay the differences they exist. Don’t look at the failed western society and try to emulate. Men are providers and women are nurturers. Find yourself a provider and you’ll never regret it.
Indusplateau
Stealth
a year ago
Cast your net wide - Apps, friends, family etc
Set you criteria well defined - Must have and good to haves ( have flexible mindset to lose few to gain few)
Accept the reality and truth of the market early.
Dont judge the book by the cover - go have conversation over call, meet etc (its painful but you will understand your needs and reality will strike early)
Arranged marriage is a patience game and if you r putting caste, creed, religion, region, age, money, job,education, etc as criteria then realise that you are literally elimating 95% of your options so eliminate carefully
Qwerty2398
Stealth
a year ago
Are you sure you are looking at matrimony sites and not netflix?
DietWasabi
Stealth
a year ago
Try jeevansathi.com
I found my fiancé there
I present to you myself as young suitable groom 🥰 .you can check me out on my insta _kissmybhatt
WattCoconut
Stealth
a year ago
>I find it really hard to get guys of the later
Cause most of the men who talk with respect to ladies don't end up in these sites. They easily get their partner on their own.
I also suggest joining activities or clubs you like and meet people organically if possible instead of relying on these things.
WattCoconut
Stealth
a year ago
Which stage are you referring to here?
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itachiuchiha
Stealth
a year ago
There's a chance your criteria is too stringent. Nothing wrong with that, but then you'll have to be patient.
What I would suggest is, divide your criteria into 2, negotiable and non-negotiable. That would help to increase the pool at least. No person is perfect.
PS: this is just top of the mind advice without experience.
sleep
Stealth
4 days ago
I’ve been on JeevanSaathi for 1.5years and I can’t seem to match with a well educated girl whose kundali matches with mine 🥲 & is shorter than 5’5”(as that’s my height).
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