Have been in a situation like this, and here's my advice.. 
  
 - Speak to your parents about reducing some of the restrictions.. While it's preferable to marry within your community, it's not always easy to find someone who is like minded and even if you do, in some cases it doesn't turn out the way you want 
  
 - Most of these matrimonial websites are being managed by the prospects parents, and they have a totally different view of what they wants vs. what the guy/girl in question wants. Also, I've come across fake profiles as well as guys who only want to hook on these websites as well. So be careful even when you're meeting someone from such websites  
  
 - Put a time line perhaps, like maybe 2/3 years, etc.  So that you and parents are also working towards a realistic goal. Find time and take efforts, so that your parents can see that you are genuinely making an effort  
  
 - I'm not married, and I haven't had a great experience from these matrimonial websites, so I would recommend try other options. Like single mixer events, apps, etc.. Perhaps you might meet like-minded people  
  
 - I'm sure your parents only want what's best for you, so be kind to them. You'll surely find a way to connect with them and make them understand.  
  
 Lastly, all the best for your search 💜

Marketing Manager

Bro take a deep breath. 
 If you know what you want and can wait a little then tell them the same, they'll probably understand.

General Manager

Need help. How do you not let yourself be affected by your parents' worry about marriage? My parents can't find a suitable match in our caste. They aren't internet savvy, and English isn't their la...

Need help. How do you not let yourself be affected by your parents' worry about marriage? My parents can't find a suitable match in our caste. They aren't internet savvy, and English isn't their language, so they pester me daily about not looking for matches.
Filtering by caste and my city on Shaadi.com or JS gives only 80-100 profiles, most with requirements I don't meet. This affects me, and I end up shouting at my parents. It's not my fault they can't find someone, or that I seek a progressive family and partner. You can't choose your parents, but you can choose your partner. Why should I settle where I don't feel like myself? I'm losing it.

How to manage parent's pressure about marriage

Product Head

How to manage parent's pressure about marriage- Grapevine

I don't wanna go through this, everyday it is getting more difficult. As if like all boils down to the caste than who I am, how I am as an individual no one even considering that in family, search are limited to caste.

I feel like I should just run away somewhere. I am not ready for this new drama. 
Am I just overthinking. Any words from your experience will help a lot.

Why does caste become so relevant all sudden, when it comes to marriage?

Hi guys
I am facing some issues with my family members, they are constantly trying to convince me to get married with someone, although my mom is supportive but my dad is not, I am fighting with them almost everyday, i somehow left my job life been on bench since long periods, not able to Focus properly on my health, not able to sleep properly at night time, got infections in my body, I am feeling shattered don't know what should I do

I'm 26F working in an IT service based company, I need your suggestions guys

Thank you

Negative Energy at home

Systems Engineer

- Let’s create a safe space
- Mention *minimal* information such as you age, gender, etc to add context about you
- Trolls be empathetic and think before you comment to someone.

What are you innermost thoughts and emotions you don’t share with family and friends as they wouldn’t understand?

Dating has become the norm for relationships today, but many don't realize that it's a relatively recent development, prevalent in Western society for only about a century, and it's already causing societal issues.

Previously, Indian arranged marriages were standard (different from forced marriages). Families would arrange meetings between their daughters and another family's sons. If they liked each other, they would soon plan the wedding, marry, have sex, and start families.

Today, individuals are left to find their own partners. If you don't find someone in high school, university, or work, your chances of finding a partner diminish. There's also less incentive for marriage, as sex no longer requires marriage or even dating, leading to more people pursuing sex directly. This has created a skewed dynamic where fewer men pursue women due to competition, turning to porn instead, while women face exploitation by men who have abundant choices.

Ultimately, near 28-30 both genders rush to the arranged marriage system to get them a partner while having their feet dipped on dating apps.

In the US,
This has lead to decreased marriage rates and, consequently, lower birth rates since most births occur within marriages. A decline in families results in a decreased population, putting more pressure on younger generations to support an aging population. Western nations, therefore, rely heavily on immigration, causing additional challenges. Increased single motherhood also correlates with higher crime rates, drug use, loneliness, mental health issues, and suicides

P.S. I'm young and dating too. Just thoughts for a conversation on what the implications of dating for us as a society could be.

Dating has failed Americans, now it will fail Indians too

Your description of arranged marriages is incorrect. You are given the option that if they liked each other get got married - which was not the case in the last generation. Often times the meetings was just formality, and my own mother met father on the day of their engagement. So nope, they didn’t have the choice to see if they liked each other, their parents made that decision for them. 
  
 Now take that into today’s scenario, how many people in this generation will willingly marry someone their parents has chosen, without any say in it? None. Doesn’t matter what their income is. You yourself are dating.. why? You can ask your parents to find someone for you, if you believe their judgment. The issue is that we don’t, and people avoid admitting that cos they don’t wanna be seen as someone who disagrees with their parents. 
  
 People are free to do what they like, arrange, love, dating, single, unmarried, adoption with marriage. Literally their choice. Nothing is ruining anything, in fact the recent situation in our country, where there are no laws upheld for rich, unemployed where 40% IITians aren’t placed, religious division - are more of a concern than a person’s personal choice. My 2 cents 🙌🏻

Senior Designer

Product Manager

from a guy's point of view:

1. You will get rejected by girls you want and you will reject the girls who want you, it's an endless cycle. 

2. Caste/religion/job/location/money/face : everything matters.

3. When you start talking to a girl, assume she is already talking to 5 guys at least, that's how it works.

4. All the things you want in a person, will start vanishing with each person you talk to, so don't be rigid. You don't know what you want, it will keep changing.

5. People are going to lie about their age/salary/past etc, do your due diligence properly. They are going to pretend to be someone they are not.

6. Be ready for rejections and getting ghosted, hearing absurd rejection reasons.

7. They like to keep their options open, you are not their first priority, sooner you find that out the better or you need to put efforts to become their first priority. 

8. Keep your expectations to a minimum, otherwise it will become the reason behind your frustrations.

9. Don't be desperate. Keep your attention to a limit, if you gave too much, then you would come off as desperate and not likeable.

How to deal with it?
1. It is what it is.
2. If it didn't work, it wasn't meant to be.
3. No effort is a sign of no interest, stay away from such people. They are putting effort for someone else.

If you have someone in your life, keep them close, put in efforts, don't come to matrimony apps.

Matrimony Apps Saga

Having gone through the ordeal myself I would suggest to not rush into things. Every one gives a very rosy picture on their social media, and online profiles. Let it be a natural process and stay the f away from profiles who ask to move fast and get married within a few months. It is a possible red flag.

Project Manager

Senior Software Engineer

25M. My parents keep on asking to get marry Because I am earning.. But the thing is I am not prepared for this, need to achieve my goals, not sure I will be reaching my goals after marriage. more over there are some trust issues on arranged marriages. Also I do get this on my mind some times, does marriage is mandatory, can't we live without marriage, I feel this when I see married people pretends  that they are happy outside but they are not inside, reasons might differ, lack of understanding, compromises, adjustments, Financial instability . I am in full of confused state. I already rejected few matches because of this mixed feelings and also to achieve my goals.

Marriage in Early Stage Matters ?

Software Developer

I have been online on a lot of sites (shaadi.com, Bharatmatrimony etc) for 2 years now but it’s been really hard to get a guy.

There have not been many expectations, just a decently well educated guy who can talk with respect to ladies (I find it really hard to get guys of the latter, on these sites)

Those who were successful in arranged marriage, how did you do it? Any tips please. Should I pay some matchmakers? Suggestions are welcome.

How to find a hubby?

I doubt your expectation is just a well educated guy. There are hidden parameters u arent sharing. Or when the guy presents itself you are making some reason to not proceed

Engineering Manager

Software Engineer

I've been of the opinion that I don't want to marry and will enjoy life single. Turned 28 this year and for some reasons, my thoughts and perceptions changed and decided to give it a shot. 
Installed a matrimony app and didn't find much things happening there until I found a girl whom I thought I would give a try. I requested a match which got accepted very soon.
Fast forward, it's been 2 months since we whastapped each other. The only thing bothering me is that she's working in audit and says that she's too busy for texts, calls etc. And over the course of this 2 months period, we only managed to call each other thrice(including 1 video call). I had asked her to atleast try to call me but she's too busy/ not feeling well/ tired etc.
I really had feelings for her initially, but even after multiple attempts, she still keeps me waiting, I feel I'm slowly losing it and have reached a stage where i don't feel anything. 
What should I do?
P.S. we live in different time zones with a difference of 1.5 hours and by the time I'm back from gym, it'll be 11-11:30 pm her side. I try to have food and everything very quickly and make time for her everyday, only to be disappointed most days.
And most of her texts are scattered, with time gaps ranging from 10-16 hours at times. 
She tells me she's too exhausted and has no energy for anything but I am cent percent sure that she is using phone for insta, twitter etc even when my chats are waiting.

Finding your behalf

A friend of mine was dating a girl, convinced his parents to offer marriage. But girl chickened out last minute, married one her father had chosen. This really fucked him up, he was determined to get married anyhow, whom didn't matter. 
1 Yr later, found a girl parents found, got pregnant before first anniversary. Over 3 years, their marriage has seen divorce, domestic violence and 5 star hotel celebrations (oscillated to extremes of good and bad)

I'm seeing another such case.
Office colleagues were dating, he proposed marriage, she declined. He said stuff that shouldn't have been said, she threatened POSH (did not complain officially)
2 months later, he has found someone to marry through arrange marriage route 

Break ups are bad, but half of the problem were you. Instead of working on that, people take it on ego

Rebound marriages are the worst

Consultant

Welcome to Confessions's Private Community

I am 24F and I have exhausted all my reasons to postpone marriage. Due to failed past relationships I don't know what to look for in the next guy. Basically I pulled every type I wanted and failed epicly. I am not ready to get married at all. Tomorrow the groom's family is visiting my home and I have no idea what to do.But if I say I like him the marriage will happen in 3 months. Any advice on this.

How to manage parent's pressure about marriage

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