Unfortunately you are one generation behind. You have to assume the role that privileged kids’ parents achieved. 
  
 You are not privileged and you cannot expect to beat your generational curse as well as live a life where you can have Avocado on Toast with Orange Juice for breakfast. 
  
 So suck it up, work hard. Make so much money that no one in your family has to ever work again

Thanks for the advice one question why should I work very hard and become rich without enjoying other things for my future generation is it worth it? I will earn enough to handle my family and make my future generation capable enough to earn from themselves.

Software Engineer

Product Manager

I am a middle class guy who had a family burden to handle at an early age understood the responsibility worked hard and got a job by missing other sides like hanging out with girls or focusing on g...

I am a middle class guy who had a family burden to handle at an early age understood the responsibility worked hard and got a job by missing other sides like hanging out with girls or focusing on getting friendly with them etc after becoming quite successful I am feeling missed out of having a relationship/friendship with a girls how to overcome this moved to the different city don't have many friends in this situation help me with possible solutions. I still have a lot to achieve in life should I completely focus on that or try to explore other joys of life if yes suggest ways to do that if no, how to stay focused without feeling FOMO?

How to overcome fomo in modern relationships?

How to overcome fomo in modern relationships?- Grapevine

Welcome to Software Engineers's Private Community

I am 23M working in a well renowned Fintech startup. Have got what I have dreamed of in college like high ownership, good pay and other similar things. But lately realized that I can't do these things for my majority of life. Although I enjoy my work but still feeling lonely and aimless.

Previous to September it was remote but now they have made it hybrid and I have to reallocate to Gurgaon and now I am feeling more lonely and aimless in life.

Have tried travelling and other stuffs inorder to find interest in life but nothing excites me.

What to do in life? Feeling aimless

I’m a very private person and I was a bit confused whether I should write here or not, but anyway.

So, day before yesterday I was sitting on my chair after dinner and was thinking about my life and what the hell am I doing.

I realised that,
Saala bachpan se aaj tak race me hi bhaag raha hun. Pehle school me 1st, 2nd, 3rd aane ki race me. Then acche college milne ki race me. Then uske baad acchi job milne ki race me. Then uske baad agar ladki chahiye toh uske liye bhi ek race hai (Don’t have a gf, plz don’t take me wrong, it was a realisation)

My current daily routine is like this:
Wakeup everyday, write code, go gym, dinner, and then sleep and repeat this cycle everyday.

School ke dost peeche chhoot gaye, college ke dost apni life me busy ho gaye, colleagues se main zyada baat nhi karta and main akela padh gaya.

Feels like life is not intriguing anymore, it has no spark left. Its so painful to live everyday.

I feel like I don’t want to live any more, I want to die but I can’t cuz of 2 reasons.
1. I’m the only son of my parents.
2. If I die like this, then I won’t be able to come out from the birth cycle.

That’s it
🙏🏼

This week’s introspection

Bhai kaafi same lag raha hai. 
 Idk kaha rehte ho tum, kitna kamate ho, wagerah but ek baat bolunga - start walking. Kabhi main street pe walk lagao, kabhi subah, kabhi kahin. Hum Jo ek jagah baithke sochte hai, vo chalte chalte bhi soch hi sakte lekin kaafi nayi cheezein dekhne milegi. Kuch aisa milega Jo vapas layega interest, I hope aisa ho

General Manager

Software Developer

I'm working as a software Engineer at a startup with almost 2 YOE. Looking at most of my friends going to usa for masters right after college i felt like I'm making a mistake by not doing the same after listening software engineers earning 100K us dollars there. I thought I'll give myself two years get some work experience and then think about it but honestly I'm still confused if i should switch(which is not proving to be so simple in the current job market) or should I go for masters (again confused here in choosing between usa or Germany or Australia). Will taking almost 40 Lakhs of loan money and doing it be worth it ? Seriously damn confused about what next step to take. When I spoke with the CTO here, he advised it's not worth and you can be earning almost similar money here soon. I'd say FOMO is also a big thing here. As i tell myself let's take the risk, 2 years of study will be done soon and then work for 3-4 years , make big money , repay the loan and get back to India. I'd be having the international exposure, experiencing some above average lifestyle than India , so confused man 

Any grapeviners who might have seen people around them taking this step please suggest me what to do, any advice is greatly appreciated 🙏

Really confused about masters vs switch

I'm a mediocre software engineer in Bangalore who's content with his career and comp, for the time being and is nearing 28 years age. As the title of the post suggests, I've never been in a healthy relationship in my life and I feel so void and insecure when I see couples pda-ing at Church Street, Lalbagh Garden etc.
The situation aggravates during Valentine's week.
This all would sound funny, but I'm tussling with this thought in my mind for quite some time.😞

How to cope up with this situation? Need some practical advice about this.
Thanks.

YOE: 4.5 years
TC: 30-40 lpa

Valentine's Day Crisis

People who don't have frnds/gf/bf, what you guys do on weekends and how do you spend time. I feel so bored during weekends . Suggest something.

Life feels boring

Data Consultant

I have been a little caught up with numerous things in my life lately and have finally found some free time to open up myself to new experiences. 

I had a wishlist of shows and movies that I wanted to watch but as soon as I start watching them, I get bored and feel like turning it off. 

No, its not the content
No, its not the genre
No, its not the actors
No, its not the taste either

This is pretty ironic as considering the fact that I have spent a fair share of my youth chasing academics and career, my heart had always craved for life experiences. I had to let go of the woman I loved simply because I was too focussed on my JEE. I wont be able to forgive myself for that EVER. It almost felt like I had lost a limb, without which , I would be rendered disfunctional. Thats a separate story tho.

Nothing excites me (yep nothing)
Nothing amuses me 
Nothing feels lively

I have no clue where my life is headed

I understand that as we age, our triggers of happiness change. I have put concious efforts into knowing what those new triggers are. But I cant find any plausible sources of happiness.

I am performing pretty well with my career.
Even got a double digit hike.
But didnt feel that kick of joy.

Have I approached a dead end?

Losing Interest In New Things

Data engineer

Im working remotely from tier 2 city. But having FOMO as most of my college friends are in Bangalore. Should I move to Bangalore? Also am I missing out on anything working from home?

Hi,

I have been working in the Software Industry for the past 9 years. I feel like I have made a good use of my time and money and maybe some of my lessons can help you folks as well. Recently did a calculation for my NW and I am happy and proud to see my NW crossing 2CR+. I have 0 debt and do not own a house. Here is how my portfolio look like

TC: 1.3 Cr
YOE: 9

I am happy to do an AMA. Ask me anything about tech, career, love, marriage, money management, therapy, songs and movies.
#Ask Me Anything #ama #amazon #atlassian #google #startups #bengaluru #networth #money management #finance #india

Sorry if delay in responses, I'll answer all your questions eventually.

[AMA] 9 years in Software Engineering in India. NW 2.5Cr

I see a lot of similar questions and I'll try to answer them here.

>>>>>>CTC Progression<<<<

My current CTC is 1.3CR . 50% is cash, 50% is stocks.

Here is my CTC progression over the years

1st - 12L
2nd - 12L (Switched Companies)
3rd - 15L 
4th - 24L (Switched companies)
5th - 42L (Switched Companies)
6th - 48L
7th - 66L
8th - 72L
9th - 1.3Cr (Switched Companies)

As you can see I almost everytimg doubled my compensation when I switched my companies. But there are reasons to stay at a company as well. If you are learning and are able to handle different problems at scale, stay. When you feel stuck, leave and look for better opportunities. I have never switched job to get more money. I love CS. I have been coding since 15 years. What made me switch was either bad managers, uninteresting problems not visibility of learning and growth.

Help your brothers

I'm in late 20's now. 
  
 To my bro's in their early 20's: 
  
 "Please priorities your fitness. Aim to establish a routine and get into a shape you yourself are comfortable with and proud of."

Growth And Strategy

Security Analyst

Context: I am a software engineer with 4 years of experience.

Everytime I work with a bunch of engineers (Especially Indian Startups). Most of them are workaholics.

They are just working for some company full-time. They are interested in learning more about technology, making jokes about technology, following technology news, etc. 

That is it. 

No social life. (Especially after Covid). No skills in any other part of life.

Their comfort zone is so small that they have developed a lifestyle of working, sleeping & watching something on laptops and that's it.

They make an excellent salary but don't do anything else. 

Every time I meet a 35-40-year-old software engineer, it is just a physically unfit guy with an arranged marriage who is boring as a brick.

Are most Software Engineers boring outside work?

I am in my late 20s and I feel attacked. Thank you for striking the right chord 
  
 I've come to realize that, like many software engineers, I've found myself navigating the monotony of an 8-hour job, often feeling isolated from my office peers. It can be challenging when people hesitate to open up, but the reasons for this became clear. 
  
 There are two key aspects at play: a minimal social life and prioritizing work. These factors are interconnected. In late 20s, the circle of friends tends to shrink, and individuals are busy setting up their own lives, leading to growing distances. With limited time for each other, it's easy to become engrossed in work life. I didn't anticipate that making friends would become a challenge, and I acknowledge this as a personal objective (read OKR) for myself. Despite being an extrovert, reinitiating the trust and friendship path can be difficult. 
  
 To address this, I've proactively connected with people, stepped out of my comfort zone, and initiated new activities. It's a challenging process, and sometimes it feels like I'm overdoing it, but the effort is rewarding. Engaging in activities beyond my job role, such as joining a gym or participating in public discussions, has been beneficial. I've also reduced my time on social media, realizing that platforms like Instagram reels consume a significant portion of my time. 
  
 I'd like to urge understanding for people in their late thirties. Having once criticized the habits of those in their late twenties when I was in my early twenties, I now comprehend the challenges of their situation. Unexpectedly, I find joy in shopping for groceries and organizing them neatly. It's all about priorities, and embracing change has made a significant positive impact in my life.

Welcome to Indian Startups's Private Community

I work at a startup and have been here for more than 7 years. I joined right after graduating from a tier 1 engineering college (one of the old IITs). I was the first team member after the founders and now hold the position of non tech CXO in the company. The startup has grown significantly, not in traditional funding terms but in actual business. I have dedicated countless days and nights to growing this company, hardly taking a single day off in the initial 4 years, and often working more than 10 hours daily. My salary has increased proportionately to what I should be paid (>65 LPA), and I also have decent ESOPs in the company, which could be worth anywhere between 2 to 4 crores depending on the valuation at which we raise funds. However, I don’t count ESOPs as real money. In the next 10 years, it's going to be a very big thing, and I am glad to be part of it. Many of my friends, who have done MBA from IIMs and worked at BCG or Bain, are craving for the position I am in.

But I feel FOMO about not trying anything else in life. It's like achieving decent success on the first try. I use the word "decent" and not "crazy" because it's not crazy success.

What do I want ideally?
I'd like to take a 6-month break and then figure out my next steps. Maybe start something new or join another company at a leadership level. But I am too afraid of not getting the same opportunities and ending up struggling.

Thus the question:
Is there any agency that works specifically to help you get a job at a CXO position? How does it work? Can a non-MBA with 8 years of work experience get a CXO position at a decently big company (>300-500 crores in revenue)?

CXO Position, Right after college. Confused now !

Growth Manager

I feel as I’ve grown up from college to corporate life I’ve lost out on friends and I feel kinda lonely.
This might be weird coming from a guy who’s in a relationship(happily). But you need friends too. And I had decent ones in the past, some still there but you know someone you talk to more often? I no longer feel I have those type of people in my life. And that is mostly because I stopped texting people on my own and I hardly ever got a text from them without it. 
Now to make new friends it takes a shit ton of efforts and I don’t even know where to meet new people. I wfh so definitely my social life has gone for a toss. I’m a typical software engineer. Anyway that’s it with my rant.

Friends

I am a 29 YO single male. I earn decently well for my age. Lately I haven’t been feeling well. As in, life is just passing by and nothing brings me joy anymore - No PS5, No long drives, no movies or shows. 
Weekends are especially lonely. During weekdays, I make sure I go to my office everyday even though it’s hybrid, to avoid feeling lonely. 
I don’t have any female friends to talk about things deeply as most of those friends are now getting married. (you know how is it with us boys. It feels weird to share emotions or talk about life with the same sex somehow). Same for male friends. They are all getting married. 
Somehow, it just feels like I focused too much on my work and didn’t invest time in finding a mate at the right time. 
Now, on weekends, I just lay on my bed like a loser. I was never like this. I had so much drive to work, to explore, etc. But now it all seems pointless. 

Do you guys have any suggestions on what to do?

Loneliness - Nothing brings joy anymore

Get checked for Vitamin D & B12 levels also ADHD

Product Owner

Welcome to Office Gossip's Private Community

I am just out of college, and while being in college I didn't feel it much but now I am in my 4th year and doing an internship. So the thing is here I see my peers along with the work also doing numerous things in life such as , clubbing, drinking alcohol, getting into relationships etc . And I sometimes feel like I am behind /leftout . I am not that much bothered about drinking alcohol but I really feel missing out of having a relationship. I am a 22 year old male never had a girlfriend but here almost all my peers have one . Sometimes I feel I need a gf and sometimes don't. So what to do ? is it late at 22 ( will be 23 in feb 2024 ) to be single and virgin ?

Confused about life

I earn enough. Here are my problems:
1. Don’t have friends who I can talk to 
2. Dating life is weird and complicated (can’t find someone I’m truly happy with)
3. Don’t enjoy living in blr
4. Don’t have tight bond with siblings or parents

Suggest me some ways in which I can improve. Please only suggest things that worked for you.

26 (M) depressed Af!

Hi,
I am a 2023 graduate and currently working in a product based startup in Indiranagar. When I came to Bangalore a few months ago, it was all fun and exciting. I still love my work (working in multiple tech stacks). But somehow life outside the work has become somewhat boring. I do go on bike ride trips but again can't go every weekend.

I play badminton and cricket sometimes but still feel bored sometimes.

I don't go to clubs as I don't drink and smoke. Would love if you folks can suggest something?

How to overcome fomo in modern relationships?

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