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I did not need to hear this today

I did not need to hear this today- Grapevine

Not sure who needs to hear this today

Software Engineer

Welcome to Banking & Finance's Private Community

Not the news i wanted to start my monday with

This year feels like a calmer year compared to others. There's nothing much happening for me, neither good nor bad and it doesn't affect me. I have a different perspective on life from previous years yet I don't know what to do.

Yesterday while walking after the dinner I was thinking that I am at such a point in my life that whatever I pick from the next day and do it for the next 6-12 months I could reach anywhere. Physically, mentally, relationship anything.

It's like a bamboo year for me, under the ground, working on my mind and I hope the next year comes out to be the year where things happen for real and I could look at this post and smile.

2024 summing up

Welcome to Office Gossip's Private Community

Rant alert: 

Have you felt the same way? How many years of work ex after which you started feeling this way? 

Stability and money I’m grateful for. But I hate the constant comparison and competitiveness among peers/colleagues. Makes me want to quit and do a Teach for India fellowship. A little corporate detox. 

Wish I had become an athlete instead. I know it’s not an easy life, but It’s the kind of competitiveness I’m inclined towards. Not inclined towards the kind where you compete with people to please a company that will never care for you as a human. But people fail to recognise that, lose perspective, and lose themselves too. People have no class in this shitty world. If I have kids, they’re definitely becoming athletes and not entering this hellhole. 

Most ironically, I’m borderline considering an MBA to escape the corporate life for 2 years, but obviously I’m aware I will only get entrenched further in it due to the degree.

Corporate is not for me

Product Manager

I joined AmEx Gurgaon in 2015 in PoS Fraud Strategy as a Business Analyst. I was having a rough time at AmEx as I really wanted to pursue my passion of Mathematics in the US. I had secured an admit at Univeristy of Illinois - Urbana Champaign and UT-Austin in their MS programme and was totally checked out at work.

During my tenure at AmEx, I was mostly bored. Looking at internal tools and spreadsheets was the worst. This coupled with the fact that I was travelling to and fro between Noida and Gurgaon meant that I was commuting a solid 4 hours everyday.

In this time of mental agony, I met this charismatic young woman, she was an Analyst in the Credit Underwriting Team. I don't know what got into me and I asked her out to coffee. We went to the Starbucks in CyberHub the next morning and she was the most delightful personality ever. Sweet and elegant, she talked of her passion with vigour, from her ideals to writing poems. I left that conversation feeling uneasy though. 

She reminded me of what I wanted but also of what I was scared to lose in her. 

We continued to date for the next 6 months in a hush-hush manner to avoid any suspicion at AmEx. I had to start the process of getting my F1-visa for the US and when I told her about it she was extremely disheartened.

In my heart, I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my days with her and life without her was nothing but an empty void. She came with me to the US Consulate Office, and I don't know what got into me but I kissed her.

I knew that I wanted her more than anything else. 

Decided not to give the Visa Interview and applied to ISB with my GRE score. Got into it and ended up becoming a Management Consultant in MBB. 

We got married in 2019 and welcomed our daughter into this world in 2021. 

I wonder what life would've been living in the US. But whatever it would be, it couldn't be better than being in her arms when we come back from work. 

Have faith. Everything will turn out to be okay. Trust the process

When I chose Love over my Career: My Story

Growth Manager

RCB won WPL 🥹❤️

Is it okay to take career break of 3 months for mental health. I got laid off but got job within 1 month but feeling anxiety and mental disturbance and need some time to cope up. 

Something happened inbetween due to loneliness and hits a bad way so I need some time to prepare mental health back.

Is it okay to take break?

Career break for mental health improvement

Systems analyst

Someone had to say this

Product Head

Welcome to Software Engineers's Private Community

I have been in this industry for 4 years now and there is not a single day that i hated this place any less. Today 9th August 2023 i am all alone in my room thinking to myself about what’s the point of this? 

I have no life i am all alone and tbh i have no real friends. A few of them that i do have are so far away from me busy in their life. No love life no social life. At 27 i feel wasted, done, finished let me clarify not in a suicidal way. I just feel exhausted my body is breaking down by the day i feel. I am just broken at this point and feel like quitting this profession altogether. I just don’t feel happy. The more i work the more irritated and frustrated i get.
To top all that i have no one to share my emotions with here. Call it whatever you may wanna call a cry for help, a rant or nonsense. I am at that point where every morning feels like punishment. Every night that i go to bed i try to stay positive but i am not able to. I just hate everything. 
I am not a lazy man i work for 10-12 hours everyday and i think now that has finally got to me as i feel finished.
I don’t know if anyone will read it or not i just wanted to reach out to people or anyone who feels like me. Broken tired and just done with everything.

Can anyone explain me what’s the point

Backend engineer

Welcome to Product Managers's Private Community

I've heard low hanging fruit about 100 times today.

What business sayings do you never want to hear again?

It’s clear to me that this isn’t good for me. My interaction with the outside world and being in the present is inversely proportional to how much I use IG/smartphone.

IG is obv the strongest drug, but in general want to be more conscious about what I do on my phone, when Inuse it.

Looking for genuine advice. Please help 🙏🏻

People who reduced IG/Smartphone usage, how did you do it?

My mother called me yesterday and tells me she got scammed for about 10 lakhs and needs money by Monday. She has 4 lakhs and I will have to cover the rest. Turns out she let a friend take a loan in her name and this friend gave fake jewellery as collateral. The friend took loans under her husband’s name and my mom’s name, she divorced the dude and escaped. The bank called my mom and has asked her to pay, now they’re filing a case against my mom for fraud.

I’ve spent my weekend talking to advocates and friends, and looks like the only way to get out of it unscathed is to cut a deal with the bank saying we’ll pay the money back and they don’t press charges in return. Contesting the bank is going to take time, money and the risk of my mom losing her job.

As an older daughter who grew up in a broken family, I’ve spent my childhood and adulthood protecting my mother and sibling. I finally landed a well paying job 2 years ago and now the responsibility extended to providing for my younger sister and my mother financially which I’m more than happy to do. I’ve worked hard the past few months to save what I have right now beyond what I give my family, use to sustain myself and finally felt happy about the position I’m in.

Now I’m heartbroken. I’m going to be emptying almost 70% of what I have so far for this for paying the bank and the lawyer. Especially for something that’s not even my mistake and something that could have been easily avoided. I’m not in a place to direct my anger at her, I know it’s a hard time for her as well. 


6 to 7 lakhs might sound like a small amount to some but I don’t have the privilege to throw money like that. I don’t have fuck you money. I don’t take money from friends. I’m 25 and literally just started my life 2 years ago after working for peanuts. 

What’s even the point of working hard, leading an honest life if this is how it works? It’s just truly unfair and I don’t know how to deal with it.

I wish life was a little easier and I just need to vent

The obsession I regret the most in my life is the all or nothing behavior.

Where, 
- I'll apply for a job only after knowing everything there is to know for a role.  This is why I used to see people with half my knowledge applying and getting jobs and moving ahead in life. I used think it's so unfair that they achieve in all aspects of their life and I in none...
- I'll date someone only when I know I am the perfect version that I envision for myself 
- I'll only take photos when I am in my perfect shape. If I don't have 8 abs, I don't deserve photos!
- I'll stop questioning whether I am good enough only when I achieve everything else I am a loser

I just was very cruel to myself for my own imperfections!
This instilled a fear in me that shattered my spirit, self confidence and self worth.  I ended up being afraid to pick anything up. 

If I couldn't stay course in something and for some reason I wasn't able to do something for a day or 2, my perfectionism mindset said, that's it, I am a failure and I thought, nothing can be done now and gave up

This resulted in I procrastinating in things. 
Why to work hard, I am never gonna make it...
I have 100 things to do in life else I am failure but I don't have time to do all that in this lifetime. Perfectionism results in not doing anything!

After meeting people, self introspection and podcasts from people, I realised its okay to mess up, its okay to fall down. I should dust myself off and continue! 
It is so hard now to change yourself after years of disappointment. You need so much positivity and letting go of perfectionism. You need self love and kindness... 

TLDR -
Don't be like an OCD person obsessing over things to go exactly the way they want!
Don't reject yourself due to failures/setbacks. Dust yourself off and move ahead!
It's okay to be imperfect as long as you promise to be consistent!

[Controversial Opinion] Don't chase perfectionism chase consistency. Period!

Consultant

Just had a mid interview. Mid interviews feel so much worse than terrible interviews. Knowing you were close to being good. Anxiety if at all there'll be a 'next step'. The opening is somehow more exciting -- now that there's a chance I won't get through.

Urghhh.

Anyone having a worse day? Please make me feel better about my life :P

Rant here.

Does that mean all atoms in our body came from single sperm and egg? That's fascinating af.

If number of atoms in the universe is constant

I didn't say anything

PSA: It's going to be a dry day tomorrow

Software Developer

I’m a very private person and I was a bit confused whether I should write here or not, but anyway.

So, day before yesterday I was sitting on my chair after dinner and was thinking about my life and what the hell am I doing.

I realised that,
Saala bachpan se aaj tak race me hi bhaag raha hun. Pehle school me 1st, 2nd, 3rd aane ki race me. Then acche college milne ki race me. Then uske baad acchi job milne ki race me. Then uske baad agar ladki chahiye toh uske liye bhi ek race hai (Don’t have a gf, plz don’t take me wrong, it was a realisation)

My current daily routine is like this:
Wakeup everyday, write code, go gym, dinner, and then sleep and repeat this cycle everyday.

School ke dost peeche chhoot gaye, college ke dost apni life me busy ho gaye, colleagues se main zyada baat nhi karta and main akela padh gaya.

Feels like life is not intriguing anymore, it has no spark left. Its so painful to live everyday.

I feel like I don’t want to live any more, I want to die but I can’t cuz of 2 reasons.
1. I’m the only son of my parents.
2. If I die like this, then I won’t be able to come out from the birth cycle.

That’s it
🙏🏼

This week’s introspection

For a marketing role where i had an assisnmrnt with a lot of deliverables to complete in 2 days. On asking for feedback the recruiter told me “the person who screened assignments didn’t like your work much”. I feel absolutely garbage and am looking to feel better. Can someone tell me I just escaped a bad company or something.

Rejected by Swiggy

Marketing Creative

Ever since I have come back this week from Diwali break, it feels like I made a fucking mistake going back home and taking multiple days off last week.

My manager is intentionally putting too much on my plate, while other peers are just chilling and laughing at me.
Now, he is saying that we're running late on timelines because of me and I am a disgrace. He is laughingly mentioning to me that he will fire me.

I have a history of clinical depression and bipolar disorder, this is triggering me a lot and I can't sleep really well at night. I feel like ending it all and leaving this company for good. I have savings worth 12 months of living expense.

Is anyone else facing similar issues after coming back from Diwali?

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