When Personal Milestones are impacting Professional Goals

- It's hard being the only woman in the leadership, in a room full of older men. If you don't hang out with them, you are excluded. If you do hang out with them, you got to get you act right with nods and smiles along the small talk. If If If If.. thats the loop you are caught in. - Imagine being the only female developer in the team. BRO code is the default setting. DEV code took a sabbatical. All of you go hang out with beer, smoke and whatever and what if I am not into that? I am not a so called BRO then. And dont even get me started on the casual jokes and me not being into gaming and TT. Go ahead ask me.. How does she even fit in then.. Right?? - Declare I’m taking a "Wellness" Day. Might as well hold a flag and say "Guess who's on her period?! ME ME ME!" So much for your policies - I can’t even begin to count the number of times I’ve been interrupted, spoken over.. - Dress too casually, you're not taken seriously. Dress too nicely, you're trying too hard. I've been judged for my clothes more times than I can count - too much, too little, too fashionable - yep been called that too. It’s exhausting - I think my presence is acknowledged only when it’s convenient for them. My opinions and insights are ignored until they need a female face to tick a diversity box - I’ve stayed late and worked weekends just to prove I’m just as dedicated as the others (even when I was doing next weeks work) - Finding a mentor who truly understands the challenges I face as a woman in tech is nearly impossible. Male mentors often don’t get it, and female mentors are spread too thin - I was told to speak up but when I did, I was labeled aggressive. I'm expected to be assertive but not too assertive, confident but not too confident. Also if I am progressing too fast, I have someone special rooting for me for something special in return - that the peoples verdict. And then the gossip starts. A large majority of Orgs, Founders, Leaders, HR are getting by doing the bare minimum.

During the townhall at our office, I couldn’t resist but count the number of women that are actually present in tech! And guess the number? Out of around 100-150 people I could count only 9 women! (Including myself) And as I was thinking around it, time came for my 1 on 1 review and I for a fact believe that I’ve been working good and so did my manager, he started with all the wonderful things I did and the improvements were great from our last 1 on 1 but the review ended with much of a confusion, it felt like I was told I’m a women in this industry! My manager added how this industry is biased and how if a women does something wonderful she’s not a normal girl! He rather added that how life will get difficult for me from now on since I’m married and might plan a family! Are men also told the same thing? They will plan a family too right? It felt like i was not treated equally like my other teammates and a bit differently because I am a woman? Have you ever given a thought about how it happened with you and around you?

Pls only women, no men 🙏

I have an onshore counterpart, one level above me. We two are setting up the project and conducting workshops. The problems I have are: 1. I work in the B shift from 2 PM to 11 PM since the client is in PST. But i login usually at 10-11 2. My onshore counterpart works in EST but logs in very late. 3. Although I work in the B shift, I often extend until 1 AM because I am preparing all the PPTs and doing research. I have to explain everything I do daily for 2-3 hours. She schedules meetings during the PST afternoon to present that work. 4. It has been 2 months of the same routine. In every weekly stand-up, she gets appreciation as if she did the work and research, without giving me any credit. 5. I can escalate the issue, but no one will listen because she has been here for 12 years, whereas I joined a year ago. She has strong networking with the leadership, which I lack. 6. I can ask for release, but I like this project and have provided solutions for some challenging gaps. I feel very bad because I work for 16-18 hours per day. She could schedule the meeting in the PST morning, but she purposely schedules it in the PST afternoon and gets the credit for my work. PS: i saw her creating a transcript to read during the meeting Do people like this really exist? If you have personal commitments, why come to work? Don’t you have a conscience and feel guilty about stealing credit for others’ work? Nowadays, there are many posts related to stopping gender-based reservations. Is it because of situations like this?

29F, IIT & IIM grad. Thought I had it all figured out. Boy, was I wrong. Post-grad, I went full-on hustle mode. Guru worship 24/7. Gary Vee, desi "entrepreneurs" on Insta - you name it, I followed. Their mantra? Work 20hrs, sleep 4, crush life. Sounded legit to my overachiever brain. My life became a freakin' checklist: - 5AM wake-up: Check - Cold shower: Check - Meditation: Check - 12hr workday on my "revolutionary" startup: Check - Networking events instead of family time: Check - Endless online courses: Check Rinse and repeat. Every. Single. Day. Guilt was my constant companion. Watching a movie? Slacker. Attending a cousin's wedding? Waste of time. Celebrating Diwali? Think of all the work you could be doing! The kicker? Being a woman in tech. Felt like I had to hustle 10x harder just to be taken seriously. Result after 3 years of this madness? - Forbes 30U30 Asia: Check - Failed startup: Check - Nonexistent social life: Check - Chronic anxiety: Check Guess what: All that hustling led to jack shit. Now, at 29, I'm unlearning this toxic BS. Realizing success isn't about IIT tags, funding rounds, or how little you sleep. It's about actually living. To all the desi kids killing themselves over JEE ranks and CAT scores: STOP. Your life is worth more than a percentile. Success without happiness is worthless. Don't waste your 20s like I did, chasing someone else's definition of success. Anyone else been through this hustle culture hellscape? How'd you break free?

Is it just me or is even a job at the best Tech companies just don’t make any sense for women? There are always women who have great family support or husbands that are understanding and encouraging. But generally why does it seem like becoming a senior woman in tech even at the best places is sort of unattractive and significantly increases your odds of “failure” outside of work e.g. divorce,having kids late? Interested for thoughts from both men and women.

Hi guys I am facing some issues with my family members, they are constantly trying to convince me to get married with someone, although my mom is supportive but my dad is not, I am fighting with them almost everyday, i somehow left my job life been on bench since long periods, not able to Focus properly on my health, not able to sleep properly at night time, got infections in my body, I am feeling shattered don't know what should I do I'm 26F working in an IT service based company, I need your suggestions guys Thank you

I will go first, it doesn't matter if you really work hard on a project, in the end only result matter, no matter how much efforts you made for it

I know I'm not the only one having to go through this. Let's speak our heart out.