Men in tech earning high,whom you have married or whom you prefer to marry

It’s a question that many men want to discuss but can’t in the open. How do the costs of life split between you and your partner? If you’re both making the same money, is it 50-50? Or do you each handle certain categories of expenses without getting into the details?

I joined AmEx Gurgaon in 2015 in PoS Fraud Strategy as a Business Analyst. I was having a rough time at AmEx as I really wanted to pursue my passion of Mathematics in the US. I had secured an admit at Univeristy of Illinois - Urbana Champaign and UT-Austin in their MS programme and was totally checked out at work. During my tenure at AmEx, I was mostly bored. Looking at internal tools and spreadsheets was the worst. This coupled with the fact that I was travelling to and fro between Noida and Gurgaon meant that I was commuting a solid 4 hours everyday. In this time of mental agony, I met this charismatic young woman, she was an Analyst in the Credit Underwriting Team. I don't know what got into me and I asked her out to coffee. We went to the Starbucks in CyberHub the next morning and she was the most delightful personality ever. Sweet and elegant, she talked of her passion with vigour, from her ideals to writing poems. I left that conversation feeling uneasy though. She reminded me of what I wanted but also of what I was scared to lose in her. We continued to date for the next 6 months in a hush-hush manner to avoid any suspicion at AmEx. I had to start the process of getting my F1-visa for the US and when I told her about it she was extremely disheartened. In my heart, I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my days with her and life without her was nothing but an empty void. She came with me to the US Consulate Office, and I don't know what got into me but I kissed her. I knew that I wanted her more than anything else. Decided not to give the Visa Interview and applied to ISB with my GRE score. Got into it and ended up becoming a Management Consultant in MBB. We got married in 2019 and welcomed our daughter into this world in 2021. I wonder what life would've been living in the US. But whatever it would be, it couldn't be better than being in her arms when we come back from work. Have faith. Everything will turn out to be okay. Trust the process

I grew up with a stay at home mom but I have plenty of friends who grew up with “power couple” parents. If anything, the kids with working moms were better prepared for school and were more... polished? And I know plenty of fuck ups whose retarded moms stayed at home and/or whose parents ended up in nasty ass divorces with their “helpless” moms cleaning out their dads. I don’t think there is anything wrong with nannies and having help. You grow to love them in a different way and they give you another perspective as you grow. It’s not like kids with nannies automatically assume that their parents don’t love them, and it’s rare for both parents to be completely absent all the time unless they never wanted kids in the first place. I feel like the argument against nannies and career women is usually made from bitter people who can’t afford them I won’t settle for someone who doesn’t have a career. Not a job, a career. Maybe she’ll make the decision to stay at home for a few years but I don’t want to bankroll the seamless and reality show watching habits of an intellectually lazy partner for the rest of my life. I’ve seen firsthand the type of woman who doesn’t want to be challenged, what happens to the men who marry them, and how their kids turn out. Fuck that noise. This isn’t the 1980s And if you think you can maintain your lifestyle in Bangalore/Mumbai once you have kids on a single income, think again, especially when your friends have paired off with those dreaded career girls.

2BHK in a perfectly located Central Bangalore close to Ulsoor Lake and 15 minutes from work

I am a 27M and earn 7 LPA from a mechanical engineering background, which I know is very low compared to today's standards. Software and MBA guys are earning significantly more. In today’s world, money is important if you want to travel or live comfortably. By switching companies or pursuing an executive MBA, I believe I can reach a decent level in the future. One thing I’ve observed is that in dating, girls don't seem to care much about how much you earn. But when it comes to marriage, the financial aspect becomes more important. Which isn’t wrong at all. Of course, I’m not generalizing, and I know there are women who don’t prioritize money. Also, it’s true that ambitious people often look for equally ambitious partners. What are your views on this? I’d especially like to know from girls.

My fiancé’s pay is 3x mine. And I feel guilty for not being able to scale up to a respectable pay or career advancement. This is my capacity - I am slow paced and a late bloomer in everything in my life. I feel like I don’t deserve a fiancé with 3x pay as mine and could find someone better than me as I was questioned by my fiancé about my career trajectory. I keep wondering in what way I can contribute my share once we settle. How will I do 50/50 because it doesn’t seem possible to do that. I will have to cut back on all my wants before things turn sour between us due to this financial imbalance. I don’t want money to get in the way of our relationship. I don’t know if anyone feels this guilty for not being able to contribute financially towards their married life. Or am I overthinking all this in my mind. It takes a hit at my self esteem when I see my friends/family around being able to achieve this financial equilibrium with their spouses. It makes me feel inadequate and not as empowered.

I am a 26/M/60+LPA/IITian Software Engineer at a FAANG. I have spent most of my time travelling places with my friends/solo and have dedicated a significant portion of my small life to my career, and I am quite happy with it. I am confused about one thing tho, should I get married? given I am happy living like this, I just want to hear what men have to say on this, I want to know given a chance would you guys get married? If yes how to check if a woman is a fine fit for you? I made a rule to only date a woman who makes at least 70% of my salary OR has an excellent academic background AND should be humble. With these set of rules the chances of finding a girl is almost slim to none given ratio at good colleges and at high paying tech jobs are like that 🤧, I am sure people won't find these rules good, but I want to know if I am being stupid pls correct me it will help me reshape my thinking. Help me guys 🫡.