Power Couples?
I grew up with a stay at home mom but I have plenty of friends who grew up with “power couple” parents. If anything, the kids with working moms were better prepared for school and were more... polished? And I know plenty of fuck ups whose retarded moms stayed at home and/or whose parents ended up in nasty ass divorces with their “helpless” moms cleaning out their dads. I don’t think there is anything wrong with nannies and having help. You grow to love them in a different way and they give you another perspective as you grow. It’s not like kids with nannies automatically assume that their parents don’t love them, and it’s rare for both parents to be completely absent all the time unless they never wanted kids in the first place. I feel like the argument against nannies and career women is usually made from bitter people who can’t afford them I won’t settle for someone who doesn’t have a career. Not a job, a career. Maybe she’ll make the decision to stay at home for a few years but I don’t want to bankroll the seamless and reality show watching habits of an intellectually lazy partner for the rest of my life. I’ve seen firsthand the type of woman who doesn’t want to be challenged, what happens to the men who marry them, and how their kids turn out. Fuck that noise. This isn’t the 1980s And if you think you can maintain your lifestyle in Bangalore/Mumbai once you have kids on a single income, think again, especially when your friends have paired off with those dreaded career girls.
Times are different now. Kids raised in Delhi/Mumbai don’t give a shit if you didn’t make it to their events, they give a shit if you don’t buy them the new iPhone every year or make them take the Metro/Local instead of ordering an Uber for them like their friends’ “power couple” parents.
Trust me, I’ve seen it firsthand with my useless excuse for a sister. Wasted my parents’ money on a shitty expensive degree she didn’t use before making them pay again for a shitty masters degree she didn’t use. They paid her rent and vacation bills through her 20s because she made shit in her “career” (lol) until she tricked my Brother in Law into marrying her.
They had to move to the Greater Noida because she is both unemployable and has no desire to work, only post photos of her unruly spawn on Instagram. He has to wake up at 5am everyday to commute into the city and doesn’t get home until late.
I’m sure she whines or cries or bitches when he does, because that is the kind of bitchy she is. He makes decent money too, so I’m sure he daydreams about what life would’ve been like if he wasn’t living in hell. Fuuuuck that kind of life, I’d rather die alone
majboormajdoor
Stealth
4 months ago
Resonate with this story. Have seen females in extended family and circles having no ambition or struggle. They are out of touch of how hard it is to make money toiling at 10-14hr jobs with commutes, office politics and a silent stress of primary responsibility to provide food on the plate.
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lime
Student
4 months ago
Why the hate? "Retarded Moms"? Looking after the house and children is a big job in itself, try doing it for once. Have some respect for the women that do that daily.
I grew up with the so-called "Power Couple", it was HELL! Everyday was a rush growing up in my family. My mum and dad were always exhausted and even though my dad helped my mum out a lot with dishes and other housework, the house was always a mess. I would've loved the calmness growing up, I still remember the mornings before school when everyone's just running around trying to get it together. Not to speak about how on the job conflicts affected my parents at home. You think getting a maid and a cook solves it all, but you still need someone to look after them. It's not as easy.
Maybe the stay at home experience wasn't as merry as I assume it to be, and I do love that my mum works but that takes a toll in itself, might not be as apparent.
lime
Student
4 months ago
And as for divorces, even a working spouse could clean you out in a divorce.
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Power Couple can also be where one partner earning & other taking care of home. Onus of making a polished kid doesn’t come only on mother, it is responsibility of both parents initially and then it is on individual (grown up kid) itself. Calling homemaker moms as retarded itself is a sick mentality, you never know whether being homemaker was a choice or an unwanted sacrifice. Being grateful to parents is mandatory as both of them do a lot of sacrifices for their kid(s). If parents have empowered their child to earn money by providing education, then I feel they have done their job rather than making luxury available in their kid’s hands. Homemakers are also challenged everyday in their tasks. For career women, workplace (home too in many cases) is their battleground and for homemakers, it is home. So, Power Couple can be:
1. Where both are earning
2. Either of partner earning
At the end, it must be choice rather than enforcement.
'Homemaker' is just a fancy term used by unemployed married women.
An unemployed married man will not be called a 'homemaker'.
BiryaniEnthu
Stealth
4 months ago
You don't call them so. People who make home home are homemaker, irrespective of gender
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Kamlesh
Stealth
4 months ago
Grass is always greener on the other side buddy. I grew up with nannies but I would have preferred my parents any day.
Both my parents today regret that they didn't spend enough time with us, and now they can't even if they wanted to, because the children are always away for jobs in different cities. No amount of money can be traded in for time lost. We didn't even need a lot, but my parents pushed themselves too hard just to achieve better living standards when we were fine with what we had.
I didn't appreciate my parents enough until the last few years tbh, used to carry a lot of unresolved feelings. Thankfully we are in a much better relationship with each other now.
GrimBeard75
Stealth
4 months ago
This is so wholesome ❤️
I've always had a good relationship with my parents (SAHM) and I still make an effort to always try and visit them once every 4 month from Bengaluru to Delhi. Always worth it ❤️
My mom is a home-maker. Your statement generalises a lot of things and is insulting for home-makers. I have friends who have left their jobs just to focus on their children.
The amount of time and dedication spent by home-makers on their children is tremendous. Nannies can’t do it. And nannies nowadays are even more shittier than ever.
In terms of children, what matters the most is the friend circle in which he/she grows up. It doesn’t matter if the child studies in a high class school or in a govt. school. All that matters would be his/her friend circle and to a good amount his/her teachers as well. Most of the career discussion would happen with peers. So good peers matters.
Home-makers have to look after the whole family and do a lot of chores. It’s a personal choice and to degrade them is not justifiable at all!
majboormajdoor
Stealth
4 months ago
I totally agree. I had a working mom. I wished back then that she could be there for me. I even asked her multiple times to leave her job in my own childish way when I was under 10yo.
But as I grew to high school, I could see that I lived a better std of living than others in my classroom. The double income of my parents could afford my higher education, coaching, extra activities, living in another city for Bachelors etc.
Also, the outlook that a working mom brings to the the future of children is irreplaceable. Homemakers rarely can develop a network and sometimes get out of touch with times. Their children might end up with less ambitions too.
I totally agree with you. Some will cry about culture and all, but they won't be ready to lend a single penny when you need it. So simply ignore them.
"Hum bhi pele gaye the, tum bhi pele jaaoge."
Life has a tendency to break these delusions once you get your wish and reach a certain age.
~Sincerely
A "power couple"
Lol
Parents are absent and either kids hate them for it or don't bond with them. Have seen multiple cases where these kids later on went to treat their parents like roommates before eventually moving out.
I agree that in metro cities single income is not sufficient for a comfortable lifestyle.
Celsius_Fahrenheit
Stealth
4 months ago
I agree with you
Ewwww and ewwww .. what the actual fukdy fuck ! I have seen "unpolished" and "polished" kids from both sides it more on how you are brought up. Clearly shows which side you live. Bloody hypocrites
It doesn’t mean someone should demean non earning women and calling them retarded.
It's harsh word,
but I believe OP's scope of non working women and someone else's world view of non working women would be completely different, it's nuanced thing.
For some women working/non working would be due to event/education out of their control, and they're good at heart,
for others its due to sheer lack substance/balls etc and they're evil.
I'll share a personal example,
my own uncle's wife is "educated graduate" homemaker with kid, didn't pitch in monetarily when he was out of job instead harass hum broke devices, blackmail divorce + going back to her dad who has govt job.
vs my neighbours wife "less educated" homemaker with kid, took up odd jobs from making part-time khakras to beauty parlour help, inorder to add monetarily when he lost job did everything to support him until he pivoted to driving cabs and became somewhat stable.
These both families are non rich, non tech, my uncle worked under govt contractors, neighbour worked collecting loan papers for local company.
Both would be sub 25k monthly income levels.
Real Events similar timelines post lockdown 2020-21 era.
I've objectively -ve respect for one "homemaker" and objectively +ve respect for other "homemaker",
these are the families without fallback/ investments/term insurance, if primary earner dies in unfortunate event all hell would break loose and the "crap" quality women would strangle the family towards breakage.
If you are taking decisions based on what your friends are doing, then no amount of money will give you peace of mind.
Upbringing matters a lot !!
When we talk to people in the age group of 15-20 years, most of them are living in their own world far far away from reality. inspired by Big boss, K drama etc etc..
there is a huge mindset shift that you can easily observe. Now only time will tell if they actually are that smart as they think they are !
Well said - totally agree kids with both sets of parents working turn out much better. Indians could in general do with less mollycoddling - learn to be independent and in charge of oneself earlier on in life.
Personal Opinion : Bro Mumbai and Delhi kids are being so spoiled by their parents.
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