If you are against Dowry, why aren't you against Alimony ? or are you ?

"Our daughter was a topper in her class in school and earns 4 LPA in a reputed MNC. We are seeking grooms from IIT/IIM only. We are against dowry. Salary expectation: 50 LPA" It all starts here my friend.

A man can claim alimony as well. Take your chauvinism elsewhere.

I am sorry if you have faced adverse circumstances. But alimony makes a lot of sense when: Educated girls earning jobs are married off early in their lives to ‘good families’ who then either explicitly or inadvertently have them quit their careers/forego their independent source of income to support their son/build their families, and then 5/10 years down the line find themselves divorced /abused and without a career which could have been all because they got married and had to take care of their in laws homes. And add children to the mix, and it is horrible! Bad case scenario: Evil hags doing this for vengeance and prove themselves superior. A law in itself cant be good or bad, the context defines it, thats why there are so many ‘judges’ I have unfortunately been privy to both types of scenarios from very close quarters in my personal life.

Alimony is Dowry for the next wedding

Not same but yea

Not to bash anyone. I know a female colleague who's husband is super rich. He didn't have any generational wealth but the money he has is something he built from his own business and extreme hardwork (as said by the wife herself). They both have a good marriage but once in office I noticed the wife talking to her coworkers. She mentioned that she loves being independent (which she is) and adds on in a sarcastic way saying "If I get a divorce and get an alimony I could be even more independent". She laughed after saying this but I could sense the crowd getting uncomfortable on that comment. My point is, in both dowry and alimony the no. of people misusing/abusing the law is greater than the ones who use it truthfully. Hence the problem.

I am not against dowry as long ad guy can declare it well beforehand even before meeting for first time. I support alimony only if wife is divorcing husband in case he was found involved in a criminal activity.

It's literally not the same thing.

The post writer seems to be twisted in his head to say they are even the same thing. Did the school final exams with comprehension skills get removed while I was sleeping ?

Girl have the upper hand in this case also they offer shop in regular Indian setup.

Samosa found an hack to identify men from women on this platform 😂

Guys i live in police line, city thana is next to our apartment, i have heard from many police personal that a women can make a man and his family's life miserable by using these magic terms :Dowry harassment, domestic violence ,maintaince , alimony or any kind of section in law against men. In some cases lady takes even their ancestral jewelry labelling it as Dowry. 18+ lady can file a case on pretext of marriage case , seriously you can't handle a breakup, you wanted to be with that guy but now you want to spoil his whole life just because things didn't worked out. but treating adult women like kids is outrageous and dumb. Dowry is bad no man with littleself respect should ask a single paisa from anyone, gift exchange as per capacity and will is fine if at all needed, The logic behind Dowry in present time :when a girl is unimployable and hence in marriage market Dowry is like Management fees given to college, i have seen many cases where girl is working there was no ask for anything ,just a decent venue etc. If groom still out of his entitlement begs for Dowry don't mary that guy, he and his family is cheap af. Suppose someone is asked to give big amount in Dowry, worst case scenario is her family will get a financial burden. But if man got into divorce case along with all the available sections against him , then his life is going downhill from that point. I have seen may cases where guys family turned out to be a bunch of cheapskates, taunting and torturing the bride just because they got few lacs less than asked, and in some cases there is actual violence, harassment from the guy and his family. There should a law like prenup and Dowry/gifts account to register expenses if marriage ends in divorce. Both the parties can settle. All we need is new laws for 21st century. And more women in workforce so that they do not have to depend on any other man.

Pls read about what Sudha Murthy gave up for Narayan Murthy. She has written about it enough. Pls read about Scotty and Jeff Bezos and how she seeded Amazon early on. Without any of these heroic deeds, it's basic decency to provide for child maintenance if there is a common child. If the women gave up her earning to be with the child and nurture, it's an opportunity loss for the common good of the family and needs compensation from the husband , if things don't work out. I also support alimony for house husbands, who choose to be with the child and get divorced later on. It's about being fair in life. You can't say that any guy made all the money on his own with no spousal support. If that were the case, the person should have felt no need to marry.

There are people who give dowry without even being asked because it is a matter of pride for them. Such people should be arrested first. If someone asks for dowry, record it and put on social media and register a case against them. Arrest the parents or groom and put them behind bars. If after divorce both people have enough money to take care of themselves this system of alimony should be gotten rid of as well. Because many a time this provision is getting misused.

If a woman is earning by herself then it's totally unjustified for her to claim alimony. Alimony is only justified in case a woman gives up her career after marriage and also the divorce is happening due to some fault of the husband. If the main reason to claim alimony is vengeance against the husband even if you're earning then I don't think it's the right way to handle it. P.S. I'm 100% against dowry and expensive marriages.

PRENUPS are the future of Marriage in India. This gen has become so trust deficit that cant say if true love is ever there.

It's not same thing

I don’t think it is the same thing. However, alot of times either is used to exploit the partner in various ways. Obviously we don’ t have laws to dissect and understand when it is being used rightly. Personally, I’d never ever tale dowry(arranged marriage or not). However, in recent times alimony seems like a sword waiting to drop whenever something goes wrong in a married relation which kinda sucks and makes it seem like marrying itself is taking a punt that nothing would ever go wrong. If anything goes wrong, the guy is screwed. Alimony makes sense when they have a child and the custody goes to the mother. Otherwise, its just bullshit and takes away the hard earned money of the groom.

One is a social evil (or thought of as one), hence optional. One is a law, hence mandatory.

That's why people should never marry someone with extreme income difference or worse case unemployed person. Both should work.